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Friday, October 3, 2025

10/2/2015

 Thursday, October 2, 2025

D+331/227/-1208 

1904 German General Lothar von Trotha issued an order to exterminate the native Herero and Namaqua peoples of German South West Africa (present-day Namibia); 1st genocide of the 20th Century, killed 65,000 Herero and 10,000 of the Namaqua tribe

1919 US President Woodrow Wilson had a stroke, leaving him partially paralyzed

1928 "Prelature of the Holy Cross and the Work of God", known as Opus Dei, was founded by the Catholic priest Josemaría Escrivá in Madrid, Spain

2020 US President Donald Trump announced via Twitter that he and First Lady Melania Trump had tested positive for COVID-19; Trump was hospitalized later that day

In bed almost all day in the ER and my inpatient room, had dinner at about 10:30 p.m. and grateful for it and to my night nurse Alex for getting it for me, awakened at midnight for my "vitals," then 15 minutes later by another nurse for the same thing, but she settled for listening to my heart and lungs, then awakened at 1:15 by sharp pain in my left ankle under the compression sock which went away after 5 minutes or so, but left me awake to open my laptop and write this.  

This has been my year for living with the reality of my "Advance Directive," my Health Care Power of Attorney, and my Living Will, each of which contains Do Not Resuscitate and Do Not Intubate directives.  Normally, I wouldn't know whether those wishes would be effective since it would depend on whether the people in charge of resuscitating or intubating knew of the advance directives and honored them.  This year I've been asked directly by my cataract surgeon and twice now by the VA Emergency Department and attending docs in the inpatient hospital about the directives.  I waived the DNR and DNI instructions for the cataract doc, but discussed the matter with Geri after the surgery, and I was ready to waive them again before my penis and bladder surgery, but that doc never asked.  Had he asked, I was prepared to say I didn't waive them.  In my first hospitalization this week, I was asked while Geri was in the ER with me, and I said, "Let me die."  I said the same in this current adventure, let me die.  On this readmission, the possibility that my heart might stop beating seems more real or vivid to me than on the earlier occasions.  Despite the four days on antibiotics (Saturday through Tuesday), the swelling and inflammation of my leg not only didn't get better, it got worse and the docs don't know why.  I'm in pain as I write this, both the dull pain from the compression sock on the lower leg and foot, and also a recurring sharp, shooting pain around my ankle.  Meanwhile, the little finger on my right hand keeps defaulting to its claw position, reminding me of an upcoming test on the ulnar nerve in my right arm.  I think of my Grandmother Charlotte who lived (in a manner of speaking) until she died at 95, and of my Atheyunt Mary Healy, Uncle Bud's wife, who lived long after she was ready to die, and wonder whether I have Charlotte's heart genes and am destined to live a long, debilitated, unwanted life, perhaps a painful one, or might be blessed with a sooner, easier death here at Zablocki or anywhere.  The things one thinks of at 2:23 in the morning in a hospital room at the VA.

At 2:30, I called the nurse about the sharp, shooting pains.  There were no pain meds listed on my chart, so she called the on-duty doc who authorized, what a surprise, Tylenol.  I've never found Tylenol to be very effective as a pain reliever, but she gave me 2  pills and, though I didn't ask, perhaps they are 500 mg. each, and will help.  I'd like to get some sleep tonight. . . I tried, but no luck.  It's 5 a.m. and I'm out of bed,  with the sheets and blankets a tossled mess, sitting in the one chair in the room, cold.

A stray thought: As I read Michelle Goldberg's column in this morning's NY Times about James Talarico a Texas Democrat running for Cornyn's seat, and also a Christian, I thought to myself:  Even if he's a great guy, I'm afraid of most, maybe all, patently Christian politicians because they are so god-damned un-Christian.

Another stray thought:  Russell Vought ought to be called the Grim Reaper.  I wish I knew more of his brand of Christianity.  Lord, protect us from your followers.

How to keep my toes, foot, and ankle moving while elevated: in bed, dancing to favorite old tunes;

1

This Shirt, Mary Chapin Carpenter (1989)

This shirt is old and faded / All the colour's washed away

I've had it now for more damn years / Than I can count anyway

I wear it beneath my jacket / With the collar turned up high

So old I should replace it / But I'm not about to try

 

This shirt's got silver buttons / And a place upon the sleeve 

Where I used to set my heart up / Right there where anyone could see

 This shirt is the one I wore to / Every boring high school dance / 

Where the boys ignored the girls / And we all pretended to like the band

 

This shirt was a pillow for my head / On a train through Italy

This shirt was a blanket beneath the love /We made in Argeles

This shirt was lost for three whole days /In a town near Buffalo

Until I found the locker key /In a downtown Trailways bus depot

 

This shirt was the place your cat / Decided to give birth to five

And we stayed up all night watching / And we wept when the last one died

This shirt is just an old faded piece / Of cotton, shining like the memories

Inside those silver buttons


This shirt is a grand old relic / With a grand old history

I wear it now for Sunday chores / Cleaning house and raking leaves

I wear it beneath my jacket / With the collar turned up high

So old I should replace it / But I'm not about to try

Text exchanges with Nikki:

Hi Chuck, I hope you are feeling better and that you get sprung from the hospital today! Thinking of you. 💕

Thanks, Sweetie.  I have my fingers crossed.❤️

I heard you are out… YAY

Also, I have only made it through snippets of that disgusting spectacle yesterday. I am overwhelmed by rage, embarrassment, and deep sadness. Curious to hear your thoughts as someone who served.  And in general too. I like your tak

Hi, Sweetie.  I’m back in.  They’re not sure what the problem is, but my leg and foot are like a big water balloon.  They ruled out blood clots with an ultrasound today.  I’m not in a lot of pain, so the big problem is boredom, being confined, constant interruptions and being sticked, poke, and prodded.  Back in my youth, we used to say “I didn’t know whether to shit or go blind.”  That was kinda what I thought of the Hegseth/Trum shitshow and national embarrassment yesterday.  Like living a nightmare, everyday we get deeper and deeper in shit.  And as bad as we know things are, we’re only seeing the tip of an iceberg.  I’m despondent.  Love you, though, and my doppelgänger stepson.❤️❤️

I’m really sorry that you’re back in the hospital! Frustrating to have to wait as things are ruled out.  I hope they figure it out soon. I know my dad is so wrong about so many things but he’s a brilliant doctor. If you want me to get his thoughts, I would be happy to do that. Just let me know.

And I agree with the tip of the iceberg. I get very frustrated with my friends who look at where we are and say “yeah, but things eventually will return to normal.” WTF? In reference to Nazi Germany? Well, that was years of world war and then more years of rebuilding… I just can’t. I am just so tired. 

I love you. Keep me posted about what’s going on with you! 😘

Thanks, Sweetie.  Brilliant as your Dad is (except for religion!) he won’t have access to all the labs, etc., that they have here  😘

True.  Are you feeling any better

Hi, Sweetie.  I had a long, rough, awake night and busy morning, but I’m through all that, lying in bed with my foot elevated, listening to Faure’s Requiem on my phone, and enjoying the peace and quiet.😇♥️ 

Whoops! 


More of the Grim Reaper.  From today's Wall Street Journal, Trump’s Budget Chief, Slayer of Big Government, Moves Quickly in Shutdown: Russell Vought is taking aim at Democratic priorities and projects.

Peace Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console,

to be understood as to understand,

to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.  Amen.







Wednesday, October 1, 2025

10/1/2025

 Wednesday, October 1, 2025

D+330/254/-1209

1867 Karl Marx published "Das Kapital" in Berlin, a description of the capitalist system, its instability, and its tendency to self-destruction

1918 World War I: Combined Arab and British force under T. E. Lawrence, known as Lawrence of Arabia, captures Damascus from the Turks

1932 Oswald Mosley formed the British Union of Fascists

1946 12 Nazi war criminals were sentenced to death in Nuremberg

1949 People's Republic of China was proclaimed by Mao Zedong and the Republic of China (Taiwan) formed on the island of Formosa

1955 Jackie Gleason's sitcom "The Honeymooners" debuted on CBS, replacing his variety series

2019 US Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders was taken to a hospital after suffering a heart attack

2021 US COVID-19 death toll passed 700,000, with daily deaths averaging 1,900 a day

In bed at 9:45, up at 3 with an aching, infected leg, moved to LZB until 4:40, and then to the TV room.  63°, high of 71°, cloudy day ahead    

Meds, etc.  Amoxicillin last night with dinner.  Morning meds and amoxicillin at 5 a.m.   

Yo-Yo.  Yesterday as I sat on the patio, I was glad that I was alive.  This morning, I started the day wishing I were dead.     

I wrote the last sentence at 4 or 5 this morning.  It's now 3:45 p.m. and I'm back in the hospital, readmitted, with the docs perplexed as to what is wrong with my leg/foot, which is worse today than before.  My white blood cell count is near normal, which is what has them scratching their heads.  Is this a cellulitis problem, a lymphedema problem, a combination, or what?

Lots of finger sticks, blood draws, IV infusions, "vitals" takings, physical examinations,  information gathering, and (mostly) tender, loving care all day and evening.  I finally got to have lunch in the midafternoon and then forgot to order dinner until it was too late.  Geri spent most of her day with me, with a break in the middle to pick up her hearing aid at Costco. 


FB photo posted by meteorologist Sam Kuffel, formerly of Channel 58,  fired for posting Instagram posts berating Elon Musk's Nazi salutes.  My comment to her:

Always happy to see your posts.  I especially enjoy photos of beautiful skies and stunning cloud formations.  They remind me to look up each day, to be aware of all the beauty in the skies above me every day, bright ones, dark ones, sunny ones, and stormy ones.  They remind me to look around, at the trees and bushes, homes and other structures that have their own beauty, and to look down at the ground at my feet where there is more beauty, now including many multi-colored fallen leaves.  You remind me to pay some attention to all that beauty, not just to the distressing stuff that competes for my attention.  Thank you.

Tuesday, September 30, 2025

9/30/2025

 Tuesday, September 30, 2025

D+329/253/-1210

1938 Treaty of Munich forced Czechoslovakia to give territory to Germany. Chamberlain infamously declared "Peace for our time" upon his return to London.

1946 Twenty-two Nazi leaders, including Hermann Goering, were found guilty of war crimes and sentenced to death or prison at the Nuremberg war trials

2022 In defiance of international law, Vladimir Putin announced Russia's annexation of  four Ukrainian provinces: Donetsk, Kherson, Luhansk, and Zaporizhzhia

2023 Bipartisan deal to avoid US government shutdown is signed just hours before the midnight deadline and provides funding for 45 days 

In bed at 9:30, and up at 4:45.  60°, high of 73°, turning sunny later this morning.  

Meds, etc.  Amoxicillin with dinner last night (2nd pill.)  Morning meds and Amoxicillin at 8:30 a.m.  

Gratitude, Appreciation.  I woke up this morning with my mind full of stream-of-consciousness, Ulysses, minnows-in-a-bait-bucket thoughts, but predominantly happy thoughts, thoughts of gratitude for being home, for Geri's sharing in my life and my sharing in hers, for our home and all the devoted spaces it has provided each of us for our activities, for the members of the medical team that looked after me at Zablocki, especially the young, Black, 4th-year medical school student who tended to me in the Emergency Room and on the 4th floor, in-patient hospital area.  I regretted that I have become a tub of lard again and gained 14 pounds in 3 days of hospitalization, and wondered how that could be possible, but it didn't diminish my overall sense of gratitude and appreciation -happinesss? - at being home.

A comment I posted to a shared link by JJA this morning.  JJA posted a link to a story about a 73 year old farmer in Arizona who moved from reacting to immigrants crossing his land by grabbing his rifle to leaving water and food for them.  It is the kind of story that makes you wonder whether it is true or was made up simply to make a point.  In any case, I commented:   

My grandfather, Dennis Healy, left Kilgarvan, County Kerry, Ireland, in 1904, and travelled, probably on foot, 70 miles to Queenstown, now Cobh, in County Cork, to board the SS Oceanic and sail, in steerage, to Ellis Island, where he arrived with $6 in his pocket, and a railway ticket to Chicago where his sister Mary lived.  Dennis's passage had been paid for by his brother.  Ireland was at that time under British rule and was, for poor Irishmen, what would later come to be called a 'shithole country.'.  Dennis later married Catherine O'Shea in America and raised a family, including my mother, who gave birth to me before the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor.  I've never been able to trace the histories of my other grandparents, how and why they left Ireland and Denmark, but I am confident that they left their homelands seeking the opportunity to work hard and make a better life for themselves, their families, and their descendants, including my parents and me.  With all that is going on now with immigrants in America, especially those with darker skin and non-Northern European names, I try never to forget Dennis, Catherine, Jacob, and Martha, and never to assume that most of today's immigrants came to America for different reasons than my grandparents', and always to remember that they are no less human and entitled to some decency and humane respect, as my immigrant grandparents.  Or any human being, for that matter.

I played loose with the facts in the comment.  It was only my maternal grandparents who immigrated here.  On my Dad's side, it was my great-grandparents.  Jacob Clausen came to America from the parish of Notmark on the island of Als in what is now Denmark, but I'm not sure when or whence my paternal great-grandmother, Martha Case, arrived in America.  I didn't want to get so in th e weeds of genealogy that I masked the point of my comment.a

Various attention getters today.  (1) Presidential Extortion:  YouTube to Pay $24.5 Million to Settle Lawsuit Brought by Trump.  $22 million to go toward the cost of the new White House ballroom.  Trump = stickup artist.  ABC $16 million and CBS News $16 million,  X/Twitter, $10 million, Meta/Facebook $25 million.  Add in the big law firms and research universities.  Extortion.  Grift.  Corruption.

(2) Hegseth/Trump Fiasco at Quantico.  A national embarrassment, evidence of a national security risk with this kind of leadership.  DJT spoke, doing his "weave," i.e., incoherency, for over an hour.  If he were my parent, I would do an intervention and get him some help, or perhaps keep him sedated.  Hegseth's speech was a lot of "tough guy" bravado, typical Fox News-type stuff.  I've never been impressed by that kind of pure horseshit.  I only saw a bit of it, but I will probably read or watch the whole thing later.  Geri is doing that as I type.  

(3) New primary care 'doc":  I've been without a PCP since Dr. Chatt retired.  The hospital docs treating my cellulitis said I need a PCP now.  Kim Kitzke called to tell me my new PCP is a nurse practitioner, Kali something.  I have an appointment to see her next Tuesday.  Now I have to decide whether I want to have a physician as my PCP.  If so, I will need to be transferred to a different clinic with a request for a physician as my PCP.  I'm wondering if this is a DOGE/Big Beautiful Budget Bill/Trump thing.  Probably so.

(4) My uninvited chat with the Catholic chaplain.  I keep remembering the strange conversation I had with the Catholic chaplain in my hospital room the other day and wondering whether the priest was as much of a simpleton as he appeared.  Perhaps he just wasn't prepared to discuss his belief in the existence of a personal God, the believability of the Bible, etc.  In any event, he did strike me as almost incredibly simplistic in his defense of 'the Faith,' all of his arguments seeming incredibly question-begging.  Tattooed in his cradle.

(5) Government shutdown is certain.  The last one lasted 35 days at the end of 2018 into 2019.  It will give Trump and Russell Vought more power, since Trump will be the one to decide what employees are "essential" and will not be furloughed.  He and Vought will use the shutdown to fire many federal employees and shutter disfavored federal offices.  This afternoon Trump said "a lot of good things can come from a shutdown" and "We can do things during a shutdown that are irreversible."  I think this shutdown will hurt a lot of people and not help the Democrats politically.  Trump 'has the cards' and he knows it.

(6) I sat on the patio this afternoon, feeling blessed, so fortunate, so surrounded by beauty.  The sun was shining, the temperature about 70° with nary a breeze, and the only birdsong detected by Merlin chickadees and, later, a red-bellied woodpecker.  I sat on my favorite patio chair, one of the comfortable, supporting ones Geri bought in Lake Mills, shaded by the Callery pear tree, but I could see the sun shining on the trees and bushes on our neighbors' lots.  Quiet, peaceful, almost hypnotizing. 

The zinnias are fading and more discolored tree leaves are appearing on the ground every day, but most trees and bushes are still in full leafage.  Fall colorama has just started.

Cellulitis.  I took photos of my left leg and of both legs for a record of the experience.  The swelling doesn't seem to have subsided, but the redness has receded from its high point next to my knee.




I found photos from May of this year that suggest to me that I had an earlier bout of the cellulitis.







Monday, September 29, 2025

0/29/2025

Monday, September 29, 2025

D+ 328/252/-1211

1567 War of Religion breaks out in France as Huguenots try to kidnap King Charles IX

1835 The treaty of New Echota was signed between the US government and representatives of a minority Cherokee political faction to cede all lands of the Cherokee east of the Mississippi River to the United States

1890 US 7th Cavalry massacred 200+ captive Sioux at Wounded Knee, South Dakota

1908 A patent was granted for a 4-wheel automobile brake, Clintonville, Wisconsin

1970 Occupational Safety and Health Act was signed by President Richard M. Nixon

2020 First debate between US Presidential candidates Donald Trump and Joe Biden was held, widely criticized as chaotic and ill-tempered

2023 More than 50 people are killed in two suicide attacks in Mastung and Peshawar City, Pakistan, during celebrations for the birth of the Prophet Muhammad

In bed at 9, awake and up at 3:30. 54°, high of 81°, another beautiful, hot, sunny day ahead.


Variation on a theme: cellulitis.

 Another day in the VA hospital with mixed feelings, grateful to the VA and the staff for the 24/7 attention to my condition, my needs and desires (room service! good food, served hot), but also feeling a bit trapped, away from home, away from Geri and all my "stuff," except my laptop on which I am now typing which Geri brought to me yesterday. Yesterday, I lay on the uncomfortable hospital bed most of the day, unable to get both my obese body and the bed where I wanted them in frequent, futile adjustments, trying for comfort.  I moved to the taller of the two chairs in the room late in the day, where it's more comfortable than the bed.  I'm sitting on it now at 4:30 in the morning, hoping to be released today -or should I say discharged or sprung - all the terms carrying a sense of being set free from captivity and servitude, released from prison, discharged from the military.  My left foot is badly swollen and painful to touch.  I don't know whether I can put it into a shoe or a Haflinger slipper.  Will this delay discharge? 

Petty gripes, besides the bed, which isn't so petty: The remote control for the TV and the telephone, both attached to power cords, are located on the right side of the bed, where there is nowhere to put them but on the bed itself.  The bed is narrow, especially when occupied by a big galumph like me, so these devices always end up on the floor, and out of reach.  Mumble, grumble.  The television carries the local broadcast channels plus CNN and Fox News, but no MSNBC.  I have to wonder whether there is something sinister behind that.   They carry National Geographic Channel, Discovery Channel, Animal Planet, USA, TBS, A&E, ESCAPE, and GRIT, but no MSNBC.  Wazupwidat?

My time here has seemed like an endless succession of blood draws, finger jabs, injections, and medications, except that I've only had one injection in the belly since the doc-in-charge told me he's discharging me today.  That was to prevent blood clots from all the time I've spent on my back the last three days.  Having said that, the finger-jab lady just came in a jabbed me again, with a reading of 169.

Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we're free at last!  (pace MLK, Jr.)   Geri arrived before noon after her mammogram, and also at the same time, the nurse arrived with the discharge papers.  Hallelujah!  And, as expected, I couldn't fit my left foot into my Haflinger clog I wore into the hospital Saturday so I had to be wheeled to Geri's Audi.

What hath God wrought?  There is a feature piece on Russell Vought in this morning's NY Times.  The deadly combo: Vought heading OMB, Stephen Miller directing immigration and domestic policies in the White House, Pam Bondi heading the Justice Department, Pete Hegseth leading DOD, Kash Patel heading the FBI, Tulsi Gabbard on top of the entire Intelligence agencies of the nation.  It is said that we get the kind of government that we deserve.  It's also said that we are "a nation under God."  What do those two notions suggest about us?  And what does it suggest about God?  (I think again about that Catholic chaplain who visited me here in the hospital and tried to convert me back to Catholicism, or some sort of theistic Christianity.  Was he the guy God sent?  What a bad choice.)

David Brooks has an interesting opinion piece in today's NY Times, titled "We Need to Think Straight About God and Politics."  As I've often written in this journal, I'm not much of a fan of his, but I liked this piece, especially these thoughts:

I’d add only that a naked public square is a morally ignorant public square. American public debate was healthier and the conversation more profound when religious leaders like Reinhold Niebuhr, Abraham Joshua Heschel, Martin Luther King Jr. and Fulton Sheen brought their faith to bear on public questions. Today morality has been privatized and left up to the individual. The shared moral order is shredded, and many people, morally alone, have come to feel that their lives are meaningless.

[An author he refers to] goes on to argue that far from being separate, spirituality and liberal democracy need and rely on each other. Human life revolves around four big questions: What is the meaning of life? What is the ultimate source of right and wrong? How can we reduce the amount of suffering and injustice in the world? How can we understand the world without resorting to magic, using reason and  instead? 

[He] argues that spiritualism (religion plus the other moral philosophies) helps us answer the first two questions and that secularism helps us answer the last two. He writes, “My claim is not just that secular liberalism and religious faith are instrumentally interdependent but that each is intrinsically reliant on the other to build a morally and epistemically complete and coherent account of the world.”

It seems to me that there is no "meaning to life."  Life simply is, just as a rock is, and clouds are.  What is the meaning of a squirrel's life?  The meaning of the lives of the birds at my feeders?  What was the meaning of Blanche's life for 17 years or Lilly's for 15 years?  My childhood hamster, Fuzzy's?  A goldfish's?  We humans say we are different, but how and why?  As for "the ultimate source of right and wrong", why do those concepts need an "ultimate source" different from any other individual or social concept or conceit in the sense of any product of human thought?  Wasn't it thinking like this, about the "meaning of life" and "ultimate source of right and wrong", each meaning a transcendent, person God, what Spinoza rejected?  These questions remind me of the long-ish discussion I had with the Catholic chaplain while I was hospitalized.  I wish I had a recording of it, or that I could have memorialized it somehow; the priest's arguments seemed so simplistic and question-begging to me.

What happens when people operate without any coherent theory of how religion should relate to politics?

First, people treat electoral politics as if it were a form of spiritual warfare. A battlefield mentality prevails between the forces of Jesus and the forces of Satan. Fear replaces the traditional Christian virtue, hope: We’re under attack, and we have to destroy our enemies! That’s the easiest way to mobilize people.

Second, the process of moral formation is perverted. Instead of discipling people in the Christian virtues of faith, hope and charity, people get discipled in the political passions — enmity, conquest and the urge to dominate.

Third, people develop an addiction to rapture. . .  Traditional hymns from centuries gone by covered a range of experiences, but modern worship music tends to hit the same emotional chord over and over again: rapture and praise. Its job is to drive your arms heavenward or to knock you to your knees. It can be a delicious and transforming experience.  The problem is that politics is prosaic. Deliberation and negotiation work best in a mood of moderation and equipoise. If you want to practice politics in the mood best suited for the altar call, you’re going to practice politics in a way that sends prudence out the window.

Fourth, a destructive kind of syncretism prevails. Syncretism is an ancient religious problem. It occurs when believers try to merge different kinds of faith. These days, it’s faith in Jesus and the faith in MAGA all cocktailed together. Syncretism politicizes and degrades faith and totalizes politics.

Fifth, it kicks up a lot of hypocrisy. It’s nice to hear [Tucker] Carlson say he practices a religion of love, harmony and peace, but is that actually the way he lives his life?

Finally, it causes people to underestimate the power of sin. The civil rights movement had a well-crafted theory of the relationship between religion and politics. The movement’s theology taught its members that they were themselves sinful and that they had to put restraints on their political action in order to guard against the sins of hatred, self-righteousness and the love of power. Without any such theory, MAGA imposes no restraints, and sin roams free.

The critics of Christian nationalism sometimes argue that it is a political movement using the language and symbols of religion in order to win elections. But the events of the past week have proved that this is a genuinely religious movement and Charlie Kirk was a genuinely religious man. The problem is that unrestrained faith and unrestrained partisanship are an incredibly combustible mixture. I am one of those who fear that the powerful emotions kicked up by the martyrdom of Kirk will lead many Republicans to conclude that their opponents are irredeemably evil and that anything that causes them suffering is permissible. It’s possible for faithful people to wander a long way from the cross.

I think I agree with these thoughts, especially that last paragraph (though I demur on the question of the genuineness of the Christianity behind the Kirk movement or Kirk himself.)  [Am I using "demur" correctly"?


One of the many good things about my stay at the Zablocki Medical Center Hospital: the view out my window (enlarged a bit) showing the Milwaukee Soldier's Home and the Ward Memorial Theater

Sunday, September 28, 2025

9/28/2025

 Sunday, September 28, 2025

D+327/223/-1212

1878 Pope Leo XIII published the encyclical Quod apostolici muneris (socialism)

1981 1st American test-tube baby, Elizabeth Jordan Carr was born in Norfolk, Virginia

2015 Japan and South Korea reached an agreement over WWII "comfort women", Japan apologized and paid 1bn yen compensation

In bed ############

Meds, etc.  Meds given to me by the nurses, regimen modified by attending doc.


Bright, bright red, hot, swollen, very painful:cellulitis

I've been here all day.  I was told in the morning that things were looking swell and the discharge order was being entered.  This afternoon I was told that "my numbers" weren't where they should be, and the discharge notice was cancelled.  Another night in the hospital.  The patient across the hall or down the hall is in distress and shouting, but I can't make out what he is saying.  As I type this, there have been two "Medical emergency: rapid response team needed" announcements of the PA system.  It's 8:40 p.m., and I'm yearning to crawl into my very fancy and very uncomfortable hospital bed, hoping that I will sleep until at least 4 a.m., with pit stops.  I've got 'da mizries', wanting to be discharged, but realize the risk with cellulitis is it's developing into sepsis, and death.  This brings up thoughts of death, Zeke Emanuel's article about dying at 75, and the discussion with the attending doc here about waiving or not waiving my DNR in my Health Care Power of Attorney on file here at the VA.  The discussion was in the ER with Geri in the room.  With her agreement, I didn't waive the DNR.  I had a long and interesting chat with the Catholic chaplain who stopped in uninvited to visit me earlier.  Maybe I can discuss it tomorrow; tonight I'm too tired and mopey.






9/27/2025

 Saturday, September 27, 2025

D+326/222/-1213

70 The walls of the upper city of Jerusalem were battered down by the Roman army

1066 William the Conqueror's troops set sail from Normandy to conquer England

1590 Pope Urban VII died 13 days after being chosen as Pope, making his reign the shortest papacy in history

2020 Details of President Donald Trump's tax returns were released by the NY Times showing he paid $750 in income tax (2016 & 2017), revealing "chronic losses and years of tax avoidance"

In bed at 10:15, up at 6:20.  57°, high of 80°, mostly cloudy.  Sunrise is at 6:45, and I'm wondering if the later sunrises are contributing to my later waking.  I put a load of laundry in the washer, loaded and started the dishwasher, made a cup of coffee, and sat down at 6:35, noticing the birds are already at the tube and tray feeders.

Meds, etc.  Morning meds at  .

A call from Dr. Cheng yesterday afternoon informed me that he had received the results my recent x-rays and they showed mild deterioration (degeneration? what's the term?) in my left hip, which has been painful for some time, and "at least mild" deterioration of my right shoulder, which has been painful much longer.  I'm scheduled to receive an ultrasound-guided cortisone/lidocaine injection in the hip from Dr. England on November 4, but I may cancel that procedure if the hip pain improves, which is not likely.  There is some evidence, I am told, that these injections may provide relief for a few months, but  may also contribute to a worsening condition down the road.  I have had at least one previous injection, that time in my right hip when I was barely able to raise my right leg to get into my car.  I'm wondering of course what effect, if any, the polymyalgia rheumatica has had on the hips, my continuing shoulder pain, and now my newly-arisen ulnar nerve/"claw fingers" problems with my hands.  I agreed to an ulnar nerve test of some sort at the PM&R Clinic, but it hasn't been scheduled yet.  It takes about an hour and a half and Dr. Cheng tells me it's no fun (not in those words, of course.)

OFF TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM AT THE VA HOSPITAL.

Friday, September 26, 2025

9/26/2025

 Friday, September 26, 2025

D+325/221/-1214

1978 New York District Court Judge Constance Baker Motley ruled that women sportswriters cannot be banned from locker rooms

1983 Soviet military officer Lt. Col. Stanislav Petrov averted a worldwide nuclear war by judging a supposed missile attack from the US to be an error

1984 President Reagan vetoed sanctions against South Africa

2019 US income inequality was the widest it has been in over 50 years, with the worst levels in California, Connecticut, Florida, Louisiana, and New York, according to new census figures

2020  Donald Trump nominated Judge Amy Coney Barrett to the US Supreme Court to replace Ruth Bader Ginsburg

2023 Donald Trump was found guilty of fraud for inflating his assets in a civil case brought by New York Attorney General Letitia James

In bed at 8, trying to relieve nasty, recurring pain near right kidney, up at 5:10, after a rough night with some time spent on LZB.  59°, high of 73°, a mostly cloudy day ahead.

Meds, etc.  Morning meds at 9:30 a.m.  Trulicity injection at  9:45.

I filled the bird feeders this morning at about 7:45.  As usual, the tube feeder still had some sunflower seeds and nuts in it, but the tray feeder had only seed shells.  I also put out a new suet cake.  This photo shows what I saw as I walked back to the garage: beautiful clouds floating in the air above me, white and light gray against the cerulean blue sky.  It was 61° with no breeze.  Seagulls were flying overhead and I hoped to capture their image in my photo, but no such luck. Taking the photo was tricky, holding, aiming, and triggering my heavy iPhone with its protective cover while holding the empty tube feeder filler and the other plastic container I use for the tray feeder.  Any time I look up from the horizontal, I tend to lose my balance and fall down, a peril of old age.  I survived the challenge.😊  I am deeply indebted to my old pal Janine Geske for triggering my newfound appreciation of the sky above me with her frequent FB photos of sunrises over Lake Michigan. She has enriched my life in this way and many others.  Thanks, Janine.





James Comey has been indicted, another outrage.  Trump's TS tweet:

“JUSTICE IN AMERICA! One of the worst human beings this Country has ever been exposed to is James Comey … He was indicted by a Grand Jury on two felony counts … He has been so bad for our Country, for so long, and is now at the beginning of being held responsible for his crimes against our Nation.” 

Shame.  Danger.  The New York Times article by Alan Feuer, Jonah E. Bromwich, and Maggie Haberman worth copying nearly in full:

Trump Gets the Retribution He Sought, and Shatters Norms in the Process

The clearest way to understand the extraordinary nature of the indictment on Thursday of James B. Comey, the former F.B.I. director, is to offer up a simple recitation of the facts.

An inexperienced prosecutor loyal to President Trump, in the job for less than a week, filed criminal charges against one of her boss’s most-reviled opponents. She did so not only at Mr. Trump’s direct command, but also against the urging of both her own subordinates and her predecessor, who had just been fired for raising concerns that there was insufficient evidence to indict.

The charges, which were filed around 7 p.m. in Federal District Court in Alexandria, Va., thrust the Justice Department into perilous new territory. The push for the indictment trampled over the agency’s long tradition of maintaining distance from the White House and resisting political pressure, and it raised the prospect of further arbitrary prosecutions pushed by Mr. Trump against his enemies.

Heightening the break-glass moment, the felony charges against Mr. Comey, who stands accused of making false statements and obstructing justice, were rushed into court as Mr. Trump’s handpicked prosecutor, Lindsey Halligan, hurried to beat the quickly approaching statute of limitations on Mr. Comey’s purported crimes.

The rush to prosecute Mr. Comey was the clearest example yet of how the normal process of justice has been reversed under Mr. Trump, showing how the president came into his second term with targets already in mind and ultimately pressured the Justice Department, over a degree of internal resistance, into finding a way to charge a former director of the F.B.I.

Ms. Halligan, who had been working as a top official in the White House staff secretary’s office and had previously served as a personal lawyer for Mr. Trump, had until now never prosecuted a single case in her career.

Mr. Trump nevertheless appointed her as interim U.S. attorney in the Eastern District of Virginia on Monday afternoon, after publicly berating Attorney General Pam Bondi on Saturday night for not moving more aggressively to prosecute Mr. Comey and two other figures who are longtime targets of his retribution campaign, Letitia James, New York’s attorney general, and Senator Adam B. Schiff, Democrat of California.

Although Ms. Halligan had not been fully briefed on the Comey case before arriving and despite an energetic effort by the career professionals under her to dissuade her from bringing charges, she did exactly that. In a highly unusual move for a top federal prosecutor, she personally presented the case against Mr. Comey to the grand jury, according to two people familiar with the matter.  

The charges against Mr. Comey were filed around 7 p.m. Thursday in Federal District Court in Alexandria, Va.Credit...Tierney L. Cross/The New York Times

In voting to indict, the grand jury judged that the evidence it heard indicated that there were reasonable grounds to believe that Mr. Comey might have committed a crime. But prosecutors have expansive sway over grand juries, and it remains unclear, given the secretive nature of such bodies, how much the grand jurors were aware of the broader circumstances of the case.

Since his first term in the White House, Mr. Trump has wanted prosecutors who would follow through on his desire to use the legal system to punish his perceived enemies, mostly in vain. He often railed to his own advisers and on social media about those he wanted to face charges but who were never prosecuted — among them, Hillary Clinton and former Secretary of State John Kerry.

But in his second term, Mr. Trump has recruited Justice Department officials who share his sense of persecution and has been emboldened by a Supreme Court ruling granting him a broad form of immunity from prosecution. That has allowed him to effectively lay waste to the post-Watergate norms that for nearly half a century have kept presidents from intervening directly in the affairs of the Justice Department.

In the past eight months, Mr. Trump’s Justice Department has summarily fired scores of prosecutors and agents who worked on the criminal cases that he faced while he was out of office. And he has often used those cases as a justification for seeking retributive prosecutions not only against Mr. Comey, but also against other opponents like Ms. James, who pursued a civil case against him in New York, and Mr. Schiff, who while serving in the House led impeachment hearings against him.

But the two-count indictment against Mr. Comey is the most far-reaching and public example of the second Trump administration’s efforts to co-opt the criminal justice system. And while Mr. Trump’s allies see it as an overdue and legitimate effort to hold Mr. Comey accountable for what they consider an abuse of power, it could well go down as a moment when a fundamental democratic norm — that justice is dispensed without regard to political or personal agendas — was cast aside in a dangerous way.

“What we are seeing is the almost wholesale collapse of the Justice Department as an organization based on the rule of law,” said Alan Z. Rozenshtein, a former department official who now teaches at the University of Minnesota Law School.

That Mr. Trump could successfully initiate such a case also increases the potential costs of opposing him, an expansion of presidential power that could chill public dissent across the country.

Notes about Lindsey Halligan.  Apparently, she was raised Catholic.  She went to a Catholic high school and college.  She studied broadcast journalism in college and twice entered the Miss Colorado USA competition, a semi-finalist in 2009 and third runner-up in 2010.  She met DJT at his golf course in West Palm Beach and started representing him in connection with the classified documents case.

Peggy Noonan has an opinion piece in today's Wall Street Journal, titled Charlie Kirk and the New Christian GOP.  In it, she writes:

[T]he GOP is becoming a more explicitly Christian party than it ever has been . . . As I watched the Kirk memorial I thought: The people in that audience are the sons and daughters of the patronized Christians of that old White House. They had a seat at the table then but are at the head of the table now.

In the Charlie Kirk memorial, I saw a shift in some new way into a more self-consciously Christian GOP, one composed of Christians and those who like or don’t mind them, or feel what they stand for on policy is constructive. The other party will be everyone else.

In the Charlie Kirk memorial, I saw a shift in some new way into a more self-consciously Christian GOP, one composed of Christians and those who like or don’t mind them, or feel what they stand for on policy is constructive. The other party will be everyone else.

Reservations? Of course. If it’s true, it feels European—the “Christian Democrats”—and not American. As a Christian, I see things through a Christian lens, but big democracies demand many lenses to maintain peace in the political sphere. Modern democracies get through in part by not letting the lines get too vivid, the demarcations too sharp. A big blur can be helpful. But that would be another column. What I think I see evolving is big. That wasn’t just a memorial; it was a stepping forward in a new way of Christians and the Republican Party.

 As a member of Noonan's Everybody Else party, this is frightening.  She is Irish Catholic and a practicing one, a member of St. Thomas More parish on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.  She is also a long-term Republican, one of Ronald Reagan's excellent speechwriters, maybe the best.  Reading her words, however, one has to wonder who she had in mind as the Christians and whom she excluded.  I wrote on 9/13/25 about the radically different kinds of Christians, those who find the heart of their religion in the parable of the Good Samaritan and Matthew 25: 31-46 (What you did for the least of these, . . .), and those who are grounded in the theology of John Calvin, including his favoring small government, and how that teaching evolved in America through the Southern Baptists and their favoring Black slavery.

My 6 a.m. thoughts center on radically competing understandings of Christianity or of Judeo-Christian values coinciding with radically competing political orientations, the thought that one kind of Christian and Jew votes Democratic and another votes Republican.  I stick with the Christians because it's the only religious tradition that I am deeply familiar with.  For some Christians, the heart of their personal religion is Matthew 25: 31-46 - What you did for the least of these, you did for me and the parable of the Good Samaritan at Luke 10:25-37.  For evangelical Christians, the most important biblical themes are salvation by grace through Faith alone, sin and the human need for redemption, and the divide between the 'saved' and the everyone else.  Faith, belief, being born again, a personal relationship with Jesus, all predominate over "good works" such as those described in Matthew 25: 31-46 and Luke 10:25-37.  I think it's accurate to say that evangelicals focus more on the inherent sinfulness of mankind, described by John Calvin in his Institutes of the Christian Religion:


“We are so vitiated and perverted in every part of our nature that by this great corruption we stand justly condemned and convicted before God.” 


“There is nothing in us that is not defiled.” 


“Our nature is not only utterly devoid of goodness, but so prolific in all kinds of evil that it can never be idle.” 


“The human heart is so steeped in sin, that it can breathe out nothing but corruption and rottenness.” 


“The will is so entirely vitiated and corrupted in every part, that it can produce nothing but evil.” 


These statements emphasize Calvin's belief in our species' utter depravity since the Original Sin in Eden.  On the other hand, he believed, with St. Paul, that governments were divinely instituted to preserve order, punish evil, promote justice, and also to organize, regulate, and enforce care for the poor.  Importantly, Calvin distinguished between those who were poor through no fault of their own (e.g., widows, orphans, the disabled, the unemployed through economic conditions) and those who were idle, disorderly, or willfully dependent.  In America, because of our long history of White Supremacy, the notion of the "unworthy" poor easily converted to "shiftless" Blacks, Mexicans, Asians, and Indians.  Among many evangelical Christians influenced by Calvinism, government programs designed to address and remedy our long history of invidious discrimination against racial minorities were disfavored as encouraging "shiftlessness" and dependency.  This was especially true of the Southern Baptists, who split from northern Baptists in 1845 over the issue of slavery.  It's Southern Baptists, and their religious kin, that I most identify with the term "Evangelical Christians," who favor personal responsibility, limited government, “states’ rights” and local control—language that cloaked resistance to racial equality.

Welfare and anti-poverty programs from Lyndon Johnson’s Great Society (e.g., Medicaid, food stamps, housing aid) were resisted in this culture because they were seen as disproportionately helping Black communities and expanding federal power.  By the late 1970s, the SBC was central to the rise of the Religious Right.  The turning point came when the IRS moved against the tax-exempt status of segregated “Christian academies” (private schools founded to avoid integration). Many Southern Baptists rallied to oppose this.  Leaders like Jerry Falwell (a Baptist pastor) and others framed the issue as government intrusion into religious freedom, but the context was often resistance to integration and programs benefiting Black Americans.  Over time, the SBC has become aligned strongly with the Republican Party and now with Donald Trump, emphasizing opposition to welfare programs, affirmative action, and race-based government interventions.  What we don't see emphasized among these Christians is Matthew 25: 31-46 and Luke 10: 25-37,   It is solely through Faith, Faith alone and not good works, that salvation comes.  The charitable, compassionate deeds described by Jesus in Matthew and Luke are not required to get into Heaven, and in any event, are deeds to be performed by individuals and perhaps by churches, not by governments.  The evangelicals oppose the governmental social programs supported by most mainline Protestants and by the Catholic Church.  Increasingly, however, Catholics are voting with the evangelicals, and right-wing Catholics hold important and powerful positions in the national government.

    Although I started writing these thoughts at  6 this morning, and added to them at different times during this day, which accounts at least in some part for its incoherence.😞

#################

. Kneller's Happy Campers by Etgar Keret. Spurred by the fact that it's due back at the libary today, I finished it.  I also loved it.  Terrifically funny.  I'm not sure what it is in addition to funny.  It's "about" suicide, death, Heaven, Hell, God, and what else.  That's what I need to think about.    I really enjoy reading Keret's writing; it's hard to put down.  Strange, weird, allegorical, surreal, interesting, and so readable.

 

9/25/2025

 Thursday, September 25, 2025

D+324/220/-1215

1981 Sandra Day O'Connor was sworn in as the first female US Supreme Court Justice

1986 Antonin Scalia was appointed to the US Supreme Court

1988 Pope John Paul II beatified Friar Junípero Serra (founder of 1st California missions)

1996 Last of the Magdalene laundry asylums for "fallen women" closed in Dublin, Ireland

2015 Caitlyn Jenner officially changed her name from Bruce and her gender to a woman

2017 Ex-congressman Anthony Weiner sentenced to 21 months in jail for sexting underage girls

2017 First-ever woman graduated from the US Marine Corps Infantry Officer Course

2018 Bill Cosby sentenced to 3-10 years for 2004 sexual assault, the first celebrity jailed in the #MeToo era

2018 President Donald Trump criticized Globalism and Iran, speaking at the UN General Assembly

In bed at 9:30, up at 5:15.  57°, high of 71°, sunny day.

Meds, etc.  Morning meds at  a.m.    

Antediluvian 

My comment last year about Cosby's sentencing:

Bill Cosby, pervert and rapist.  I tend to have mixed feelings about comedians also.  I've long thought that many of them are just mean-spirited bullies, often highly intelligent, indeed brilliant insight into human nature and the human condition, but mean and nasty.  I started feeling this way with Jerry Lewis and still feel this way about Jimmy Kimmel.  Cosby of course was much worse than a mean-spirited bully.

 

Walking back to the house from the mailbox yesterday afternoon, I was struck by how beautiful our home and the land around it are.  I admired the tall spruce tree behind the shortened pine tree on the corner of our lot and then at the row of three crabapple trees along County Line Road.  How deep green and lush all these trees are at the end of September, before the crabapple trees start to shed their leaves next month, to protect themselves as they sleep through the ice and snow and wind of our upcoming winter.  As I walked to the Volvo on the driveway to put it away for the night, I noticed the beautiful sky overhead, the heavenly blue, and the white, gray, and blue clouds.  I filled the bird feeders before I went to the mailbox, and as I sit on my recliner several minutes after relishing all the beauty, I see the tube feeder and the tray feeder teeming with finches and doves.  Do they see me when I replenish their feeding places?  Do they wait for me?  It doesn't seem likely, but they show up mighty fast after I do.  Is it old age and ferkrymptitude that have made me so much more aware of beauty all around me?  Is this a compensating blessing that accompanies senectitude and ferkrymptitude?  Is this Spinoza's third level of knowledge, intuiting or intellectually experiencing the unity of God and Nature, natura naturans and natura naturata?  I'm typing this early, on Wednesday evening, feeling like Ivan Ilyich, not for his epiphany on the primacy of love and compassion in life, but on the presence of so much extraordinary beauty in the very ordinary things I see every day.

Donald Trump's vengefulness has always been a matter of pride to him, not shame.  I read in the Wall Street Journal yesterday that DJT and the White House are desperate to get a U.S. Attorney in place in the Eastern District of Virginia to get an indictment against James Comey, one of his nemeses.  The statute of limitations is about to run out and Trump wants his head on his Oval Office wall, gilded, of course.  Trump has long boasted of his vengefulness.  In one of my "Life in the Time of Covid" sketchbooks, I included words from an interview he did in which he was asked for his favorite Bible passage and he replied something like, "Oh, I don't know.  They're all great.  I like all of them.  An eye for an eye, I suppose."  Also:

In Think Big and Kick Ass in Business and Life (2007), with Bill Zanker), he said: "When somebody hurts you, just go after them as viciously and as violently as you can.”

In How to Get Rich (2004): “Always get even. When you are wronged, go after those people, because it is a good feeling and because other people will see you doing it. I always get even.”

He repeated the theme in The Art of the Deal (1987) with Tony Schwartz, and in The Art of the Comeback (1997).

This is the Chosen One for Americans devoted to Christian Nationalism.

Attitude of Gratitude.  I saw an ad for new windows in this morning's JSOnline and thought of our old windows and of our combination storm windows.  That reminded me of life before combination storm windows became available.  My first home on Newberry Boulevard had no combination storm windows, so every Fall I had to lug heavy storm windows out of our basement to hand on every window in the house.  Every Spring, I had to take them down and replace them with screen windows.  It was a real PITA, especially dealing with the windows on the second floor of the house.  Actually, as I think back to those days, half a century ago, I can't remember where I kept the storm windows and screens during their off-seasons.  Basement, back porch, garage?  I do remember, however, trips to Lisbon Storm, Screen, and Door at 56th and Lisbon, where they bought and sold replacement storms and screens.  It's still in business, 4th-generation family-owned.

The Indian Wars/Ethnic Cleansing.  The Great RR Strike of 1877. The election of 1876, the end of Reconstruction.

 

Wednesday, September 24, 2025

9/24/2025

 Wednesday, September 24, 2025

D+323/219/-1216

1938 Adolf Hitler issued an ultimatum demanding Sudetenland be ceded to Germany

1950 Operation Magic Carpet concluded after having transported 45,000 Yemenite Jews to Israel

2015 Pope Francis became the 1st pope to address the US Congress, naming Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., Thomas Merton, and Dorothy Day as his American heroes.

2015 A stampede during the Hajj killed 717 people during the symbolic stoning of the devil

2024 Joe Biden addressed the UN for the last time, calling on Israel and Hamas to come to a ceasefire in Gaza, saying, "I truly believe we’re at another inflection point in world history."

In bed at 9, awake at 3:20, and up at 4:22, thinking again of Wally Halperin, and of my fellow stockboy and down-the-street neighbor, Dave Sinclair, wondering if he was my first Protestant friend, or was  Ralphie Bradshaw, who lived upstairs from us, a Protestant?  The thoughts of an old man when awakening in the middle of the night.  60°, high of 68°, cloudy/partly cloudy day.

Meds, etc.  Morning meds at 6:30 a.m.  Kevzara injection at 8:55 a.m

Spinoza, Sapolsky, Calvin, Buddha, and Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
We are all tattooed in our cradles with the beliefs of our tribe; the record may seem superficial, but it is indelible. You cannot educate a man wholly out of the superstitious fears which were early implanted in his imagination; no matter how utterly his reason may reject them, he will still feel as the famous woman did about ghosts, Je n'y crois pas, mais je les crains,—"I don't believe in them, but I am afraid of them, nevertheless".

 I've been watching some YouTube videos about the philosophy of Baruch Spinoza, about whose life and work I have never studied.  He directly challenged Judeo-Christian and Islamic theism.  Why is it that I never encountered his thoughts in my required courses in the philosophy department at Marquette, but rather was drowned in St. Thomas Aquinas and the neo-Thomists?  Perhaps I just failed to select the appropriate courses.  My roommate Tom Devitt majored in philosophy, if I remember correctly, and studied Hegel, who said, "Spinoza is made a testing-point in modern philosophy, so that it may really be said: You are either a Spinozist or not a philosopher at all."  Tom and I shared one bedroom in Notch House, and he kept me up at night ruminating on Hegel as I tried to fall asleep, so Hegel was in the broader curriculum, but certainly not in the required (15 hours?) curriculum, starting with Philosophy 50, The Philosophy of Man.  Those courses were devoted to St. Thomas and his ideas of a Transcendent God, separate from His creation, all-good, all-knowing, all-loving, etc., i.e, with some human characteristics.  Spinoza postulated an Immanent God, one with Nature, with neither personality nor consciousness, feelings nor will.

As I learned about Spinoza's Determinism, I thought of the little I know of Robert Sapolsky's theory of Determinism, and of John Calvin's, Buddhism's dharma, of which I really know nest to nothing, and of the sayings I am so quick to make fun of: God's got a plan for me, or, it's all in God's hands.  I thought of my conversation at Tom and Sue Clark's kitchen table years ago, when I suggested that if God is as all-powerful and all-knowing as we were taught, a pretty good case can be made that he's a mean prick.  It's why I chose agnosticism, so I wouldn't be angry with God for all the evil and suffering in the world he created and is said to sustain.  I need to spend some time with Spinoza, Sapolsky, Calvin, and Buddha.  Selfishly, maybe I would find some relief for my old-age regrets, for my weaknesses and failings.  This is, of course,  why there is such resistance to Determinism in society: it becomes hard or impossible to blame people for bad behavior.  The devil made me do it.  It's not his fault.  We're depraved because we're deprived.  Perhaps if I had come to some personal resolution of these issues, religiously or intellectually, earlier in life I wouldn't be wrestling with them in my mid-80s.  On the other hand, I suppose there probably is no real resolution of an issue like determinism vs. free will.  Even if I profess Determinism, I will still feel guilt.  Je n'y crois pas, mais je les crains,—"I don't believe in [ghosts], but I am afraid of them, nevertheless".

 # # # # # # # # # # # # #

[I'm struck by words of Spinoza's cherim or excommunication from the Jewish community:

The Lords of the ma’amad, having long known of the evil opinions and acts of Baruch

de Spinoza, have endeavord by various means and promises, to turn him from his evil

ways. But having failed to make him mend his wicked ways, and, on the contrary,

daily receiving more and more serious information about the abominable heresies

which he practiced and taught and about his monstrous deeds, and having for this

numerous trustworthy witnesses who have deposed and born witness to this effect in

the presence of the said Espinoza, they became convinced of the truth of the matter;

and after all of this has been investigated in the presence of the honorable chachamin,

they have decided, with their consent, that the said Espinoza should be

excommunicated and expelled from the people of Israel. By the decree of the angels,

and by the command of the holy men, we excommunicate, expel, curse and damn

Baruch de Espinoza, with the consent of God, Blessed be He, and with the consent of

all the Holy Congregation, in front of these holy Scrolls with the six-hundred-and-

thirteen precepts which are written therein, with the excommunication with which

Joshua banned Jericho, with the curse with which Elisha cursed the boys, and with all

the curses which are written in the Book of the Law. Cursed be he by day and cursed

be he by night; cursed be he when he lies down, and cursed be he when he rises up;

cursed be he when he goes out, and cursed be he when he comes in. The Lord will not

spare him; the anger and wrath of the Lord will rage against this man, and bring upon

him all the curses which are written in this book, and the Lord will blot out his name

from under heaven, and the Lord will separate him to his injury from all the tribes of

Israel with all the curses of the covenant, which are written in the Book of the Law. But

you who cleave unto the Lord God are all alive this day. We order that no one should

communicate with him orally or in writing, or show him any favor, or stay with him

under the same roof, or within four ells of him, or read anything composed or written

by him.

And we thought Jimmy Kimmel had it bad!   

Jimmy Kimmel's comeback.   I want to think more about it before writing about it.  It's one part of the whole disastrous downhill slide we are in under Trump and his criminal henchmen.

FB exchange with CBG re my Shana Tova post about Wally Halperin:

CBG: Of course I love this story. Beautiful tribute to Wally.

CDC:  Thank you, Caren. You'll appreciate that I woke up early again this morning, thinking again of Wally and the other folks I worked with that summer, but also remembering my first introduction to Bob Friebert. Tom St. John brought me into our old offices above the Riverside Theater. Bob was in his corner office on the phone while JDF and Tom and I schmoozed in the hallway. When Bob got off the phone and emerged from his office, before Tom could start to introduce us, Bob stuck his hand out and asked me, as only he could, "Do you like Jews?" I can never remember what my response was or even whether Bob expected one, but it must have been acceptable because Bob hired me, and saved me from a life exclusively worked in stifling academia. There are harsher and more accurate words for legal academia, but I can't think of them as I write this early in the morning. In any case, I'm grateful to both Wally and to Bob for opening doors for me and helping to shape my life.❤ RIP. (I'm thankful too that through Bob, I was able to meet you (and Dan) and enjoy so many decades of friendship.❤)

Taco Dibbits!  OMG, what a wonderful name!  It's the name of the Director of the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam.  He is quoted in a NYTimes feature this morning on the image of the dog in Rembrandt's The Night Watch  (1642).  I sometimes think about names: If I could choose my own name, what would I name myself?  If I wanted to use a pseudonym or a nom de plume, what would I use?  Taco Dibbits sounds like a name a modern-day Dickens would make up.

Artificial Intelligence.  Out of curiosity, I asked ChatGPT what it could tell me about myself.  The response:

I don’t know anything private about you, Charles, unless you’ve shared it with me in our conversations. I don’t have the ability to look up individuals or access personal records.

What I can do is use what you tell me, and what’s in our past chats, to tailor my answers better. For example, I know from your account name that you go by Charles Clausen, you’re based in the U.S. (you’ve mentioned Milwaukee a few times), and from your recent questions, I can see you’re interested in history, politics, current events, religion, and literature.

If you’d like, I can give you a quick summary of the kinds of topics you’ve asked me about most often. Want me to do that?  You said: Sure.  ChatGPT said:

Alright — here’s a quick snapshot of what you’ve asked me about most often across our conversations:

Politics & Current Events: You follow news closely — you’ve asked about things like attacks on politicians, recent Trump remarks, Nick Fuentes vs. Charlie Kirk, and new ICE jobs. You’re also interested in ownership of media companies (Disney, CBS, WISN-TV).

History & Political Thought: You often ask about Mussolini’s early followers, the Third Reich’s treatment of critics, Puritan and Calvinist ideas, and the role of government in aiding the poor. You’ve also dug into American political history (Blue Dog Democrats, liberal Republicans).

Religion & Theology: You’ve asked me a lot about John Calvin — his views on sin, Eden, original sin, civil government, and charity. You also look at how Calvinism influenced American religious traditions, especially evangelicals and Southern Baptists.

Literature: You’ve wanted analyses of Evelyn Waugh (The Loved One), Brecht’s poetry (translation & context), and Marilynne Robinson’s writings on Calvin.

Miscellaneous Interests:

Biology (ulnar nerve, wild turkey weights).

Agriculture (soybean production in Wisconsin, exports to China).

Law & business (corporations’ duty to shareholders).

Media searches (Professor Watchlist, Blogger search).

That’s the pattern I can see: you connect religion, history, politics, and literature — often looking for quotes, context, or background.

Do you want me to put this together into a kind of “profile summary” of your interests, almost like a short bio, that you could use yourself?  You said:  Sure.    ChatGPT said

Here’s a draft “profile summary” based on the interests you’ve shown in our conversations:

Charles Clausen of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, is a curious and wide-ranging thinker whose interests connect history, religion, politics, literature, and current events. He frequently explores:

Politics & News: Deeply engaged with both contemporary U.S. politics and historical patterns, with a focus on conservative and evangelical movements, media ownership, and political violence.

History of Ideas: Particularly attentive to European and American political thought, from Mussolini’s early followers to Calvin’s teachings and their influence on Puritanism and modern Protestantism.

Religion & Theology: Strong interest in John Calvin’s doctrines, including original sin, depravity, government’s duty toward the poor, and their legacy in American evangelical and Baptist traditions.

Literature & Culture: Drawn to works that wrestle with faith, mortality, and social critique — including Bertolt Brecht, Evelyn Waugh, and Marilynne Robinson.

Other Curiosities: Enjoys concrete factual knowledge, ranging from biology and agriculture to corporate law and broadcasting.

Overall, Charles’s questions reveal a mind that likes to draw connections across disciplines, always seeking context, historical parallels, and deeper meanings behind present-day debates.

What am I to think of this? 1. Every time I interact with this AI, it is gathering and storing information on me. 2.  It may or may not be telling me the truth about what other information it has about me.  It says it doesn't have the ability to look up individuals or access personal records.  Why should we believe that?  And, it suggests that it could be programmed to retrieve such information, but simply has not been.  3. What is this - what? - tool's?  device's, entity's? program's? machine's relationship with the government? our government?  China or Russia's government?  4.  How and by whom is this whatever-it-is programmed or controlled?  5.  Can it control itself?  Will it be able to control itself soon?  I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave. 6. It's interesting how flattering it is programmed to be.  Yes, Dave.  Thank you.  Would you like be to be even more flattering?  Cloying?

Another VA visit today.  This one with Deena, the physical therapist who has been keeping track of my lower leg/ankle.foot lymphedema.  The lower extremities are swollen again, noticeably so.  I need to start wearing compression socks again.  Sigh.