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Friday, June 19, 2026

6/19/2026

 Friday, June 19, 2026

1865 Union General Gordon Granger declared all slaves free in Texas; now the date the end of slavery is celebrated across the US as Juneteenth

1964 Civil Rights Act of 1964 passed 73-27

2025 

In bed at 9:35, awake at 4:15, up at 4:35; 0500 142/75/54 112. 205.2, 0510 136/74/53; 55/49/72/54, mostly sunny day, cloudy later, rain late.

Morning meds at 8:30 a.m., and Eliquis at 7 a.m. and  6:35 p.m.

LTMW at the birds, thinking of G. M. Hopkins, Pied Beauty

Glory be to God for dappled things –
   For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;
      For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;
Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches’ wings;
   Landscape plotted and pieced – fold, fallow, and plough;
      And áll trádes, their gear and tackle and trim.

All things counter, original, spare, strange;
   Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
      With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:
                                Praise him.

 



 
Judas, Brutus, Quisling, Trump.  With his infamous "Iran deal," our current president has joined the long line of history's infamous traitors, those who have betrayed those who were formerly their friends, allies, or compatriots.  Among the betrayed, I think first, as the most egregious example, the State of Israel, Trump's partner in commencing this war-of-choice back on February 28th.  Trump has now thrown Israel, and his good friend, Bibi Netanyahu, under the bus.  A premature ceasefire followed by an agreement that places no restrictions on Iran's ballistic and other missile program that puts Israel, and all of the Middle East, at risk.  Equally important, Trump demanded nothing in terms of Iran's support of terrorist armies committed to the utter destruction of the State of Israel and enmity towards Israel's sole supporter, the U.S.  Hamas, Hezbollah, and the Houthis are left free to re-arm, reorganize, and savage Israel.  Finally, there is no real deal about Iran's nuclear weapons program, only an agreement to engage in a negotiation in which "nothing is agreed to until everything is agreed to," and there will be no "everything agreed to" except on Iran's terms.  Also among the betrayed are all the Persian Gulf states that are considered allied with the U.S., at least defensively against the Iranian aggressors, including those states in which the U.S. has land, air, and naval bases.  Trump has promised to remove U.S. forces from 'the vicinity of' Iran.  So, in addition to enabling Iran to act more aggressively toward its neighbors, especially its Sunni neighbors, we have also agreed, only in return for the 60-day opening of the Strait of Hormuz, to withdraw our defensive forces.  Also betrayed are the Iranian people who have long suffered under the theocratic, oppressive rule of the mullahs and the Revolutionary Guard.  Trump said, Help is on the way!, and encouraged the Iranian people to rise up and overthrow their heavily armed, powerful regime.  Only a fool would rely on Trump's word.  And how about the American people, and the Congress, and even the foolish, craven, wretched congressional Republicans, especially those up for election this Fall.  All betrayed in one way or another by Trump (and Vance). 

Madame Nhu, the de facto First Lady of South Vietnam from 1955 to 1963, once said: “Whoever has the Americans as allies does not need any enemies.” This statement was made on November 2, 1963, following the assassination of her husband, Ngô Đình Nhu, and her brother-in-law, President Ngô Đình Diệm.  I think of the 'swamp Arabs' in the south of Iraq who were misled and betrayed by George H. W. Bush and of the Kurds in Syria who were betrayed to the Turks by Donald Trump in his first administration.  This is only a small sample.  What a sorry record of treachery by the United States government.  What a wicked, nasty human being Donald John Trump is.  Will we ever recover from him?

Day's activities.  Andy picked me up at 11:30 to retrieve Drew from his drumming class at MUHS and then have lunch at Maxfield's.  Then the family packed up the Infinity to drive to Canada to vacation for a week on a lake north of Toronto with Truc and John Price, Vi and Joey Officer and their boys, and Hung.  Later I drove up to Walmart in Saukville to pick up birdseed, ink cartridges, eye drops, parchment paper, and some freezer bags.  After that, I was a bit out of it and fell asleep while listening to Mrs. Dalloway.  I noticed some mild CHF symptoms today, SOB and lightheadedness.






Thursday, June 18, 2026

6/17/2026

 Wednesday, June 17, 2026

1631 Mumtaz Mahal died during childbirth. Her husband, Mughal emperor Shah Jahan I, then spent more than 20 years building her tomb, the Taj Mahal

1954 CIA exile army landed in Guatemala. Organised by John Foster Dulles and United Fruit Co.

1958 Radio Moscow reported the execution of Hungarian ex-premier Imre Nagy

1965 First bombing run by a B-52 occured 50 km north of Saigon

1972 Chilean President Salvador Allende formed a new socialist government

1982 US President Reagan's 1st UN General Assembly address: "We must serve mankind through genuine disarmament."

1994 O.J. Simpson did not turn himself in on murder charges, forcing LA police to chase his Ford Bronco for 1½ hours before he eventually gave up (seen live on national TV)

1996 The Fifteenth Amendment to the Irish Constitution, which removed the prohibition on divorce, was signed into law following a vote the previous year

2025 At least 59 Palestinians in Gaza died after Israeli tanks fired into a crowd waiting for humanitarian aid

Donald Trump would probably try to improve this reflecting pool too

In bed at 9:30, up at 5:50; 0610 142/73/59 111 204.2, 0620 132/75/60; 56/61/53, cloudy, rainy day, Beach Hazards Warning, waves 3 to 7 feet, with dangerous currents.

Morning meds at 8 a.m., Eliquis at 6:45 a.m. and   p.m.

Worth preserving.  Betrayal.  From a right-wing critic, NYTimes

Bret Stephens, Iran Found Trump’s Bone Spur, June 16, 2026

War is a contest of wills. And in that contest, the hard men of Tehran appear to have scored a decisive victory over the vain man of Washington. . .  But Trump got spooked after the regime didn’t instantly crumble and energy prices shot up. He then effectively abandoned the war he had started after less than six weeks of sustained combat — combat in which the United States lost fewer service members than in the 1983 invasion of Grenada. He compounded the error with an almost comical succession of military threats and last-minute climb-downs, each of them signaling indecision and weakness to Iranian adversaries practiced in the study of weakness.

Tehran took the measure of Trump’s courage. What it found was a bone spur.

All this may seem odd for a president who once loudly complained that the United States hadn’t “fought to win” a war since 1945, who demanded “unconditional surrender” from Tehran and who had repeatedly lambasted his predecessor for the humiliating exit from Afghanistan. Then again, it’s not odd for a president whose very essence is betrayal of everyone and everything, his own words not least. . . . 

[I]t’s already clear that Trump has betrayed his promise to the Iranian people, after they were massacred in January to quell antigovernment protests, that “help is on its way.”  . . .  Trump is also on his way to betraying Israel, our principal ally in this fight, by pushing Jerusalem to stand down in its effort to stop Hezbollah’s attacks on its north . . .

The worst betrayal, however, is of Americans who supported the war — not only neocons like me but also most of Trump’s MAGA base — because we believed that Iran, which has waged a 47-year war against us, posed an increasingly intolerable threat to our security and vital interests.

This cease-fire neither ends nor eases that threat; it hardens and magnifies it. It removes the one point of U.S. leverage over Iran — the naval blockade of its ports — before there’s any negotiation over its nuclear program, which the Iranians will almost surely drag out until Trump is out of office. It reminds the world of the adage that while it can be dangerous to be America’s enemy, it is fatal to be its friend. And it gives Iran’s leaders something even more vital: The confidence that, whatever Trump may threaten, they can withstand the most any American president or Israeli prime minister can throw at them.

There’s a word for this: debacle. Not because the war, for all its costs or errors of execution, was a mistake. It’s because this pretense of a peace is an act of geopolitical self-harm that will haunt our standing in the world for years to come.

Stoner.  I've read more than 200 pages of this almost 300-page book, and I'm realizing that this story may be more of a tragedy than I had thought, although it was clear early on to me that Professor Stoner was a hard-luck guy.  I'm at the point in the narrative where Stoner is deeply involved in a highly passionate love affair with a graduate student, Katherine Driscoll, which has "bad ending" written all over it.  The relationship with Katherine seems to be the only thing that makes his life worth living.  His wife Edith is a nightmare and has been since their honeymoon; their marriage was not a match made in heaven.  She is something of a harridan, a shrew, a selfish, emasculating bitch.  She has even done her best to destroy the strong, affectionate relationship Stoner had with their daughter, Grace.  His promising professional life as a scholar of English literature has turned to shit when his department head at the University of Missouri, Hollis Lomax, develops a hatred of him and assigns him only lower-level undergraduate survey courses to teach, at wildly inconvenient hours, etc.  Katherine gives Stoner's sad, lonely life zest, meaning, and purpose, and even improves his relationships with Edith and Grace, but I'm on page 206, having the same sense that I had after my first several months in Vietnam: This isn't going to end well.

Professor Stoner's scholarly specialization is medieval literature and his story reminds me of morality plays, medieval dramas in which virtues and vices were personified, and the plots involved the struggle between Good and Evil, temptation, fall, the wages of sin, and redemption.  William Stoner was a good and dutiful, long-suffering man of honor, to whom all sorts of bad things happen, most notably his marriage to Edith and his silly academic feud with Hollis Lomax.  Fate brings Katherine Driscoll into his dreary life and vivifies it.  Is their relationship the result of their free will, or was it indeed "fated," inevitable?  I'm back to that "free will" issue hovering over all the Elizabeth Strout novels.  What does the Catholic Church teach about Stoner's adultery, a clear violation of the Seventh Commandment?  Was it a "grievous," indeed "mortal" sin which, unless repented and shriven, merits eternal damnation in Hell?  Or was he just a sad sack who never had a chance of not falling head over heels in love with Katherine?  Interesting questions raised by this interesting story of poor Professor Stoner.  And so we read on. . .

I write these words later this morning and, sure enough, Stoner's relationship with Katherine ended.  John Williams' description of that ending was sad: sad for Stoner, sad for Katherine, and sad for me as a reader.  The affair ended when it became the subject of campus gossip and Stoner's department head, the evil Hollis Lomax, threatened to fire Katherine from her position as an instructor and to ruin both her reputation and her employment chances elsewhere.  He got to Stoner through Katherine.  This all happens in chapter XIII, an extremely sad story.  

I wrote earlier that Stoner's relationship with Katherine gave his life zest, meaning, and purpose.  All of that disappeared with Katherine.  He later gained some enthusiasm for scholarship and teaching, but he became at least semi-withdrawn.  His life at home became perfunctory, with Edith, Grace, and him all living separate lives, sharing only the same last names and the same roof over their heads.  When Grace started college at the University of Missouri, she soon became pregnant and married the young man who shared responsibility with her, though she didn't love him.  He joined the Army soon after Pearl Harbor and died in the first year of the war, after which Grace stayed in her little apartment in St. Louis rather than return to live with Stoner and Edith. Stoner "came to realize that Grace's removal from Columbia - perhaps even her pregnancy - was in reality a flight from a prison, " her home.  She became a heavy drinker, apparently an alcoholic, in her adult life.

After I finished the novel this afternoon, I had this spooky exchange with ChatGPT:

Is there a moral to the story?

I think there is, but it's not a simple, didactic moral. One reason Stoner has become so admired is that it resists easy lessons. Instead, it offers several intertwined insights about what gives a life value.

The central idea may be this: a life does not have to be outwardly successful to be meaningful. By ordinary standards, William Stoner's life is disappointing. His marriage is unhappy, his academic career is modest, he never becomes famous, and he dies with little public recognition. Yet John Williams invites us to ask whether those are the right measures of a life.

Stoner finds meaning in three things:

His devotion to literature and teaching. He treats literature not as a profession but as a way of understanding what it means to be human.

His integrity. He pays a price for refusing to compromise his standards, especially in his conflict with Professor Lomax. His stubbornness is not always admirable, but he remains true to his convictions.

His capacity to love. His affair with Katherine Driscoll is brief, yet it is the period in which he feels most fully alive. The novel suggests that genuine love, even when it cannot last, has lasting value.

The novel also explores the gap between success and fulfillment. Stoner never becomes an eminent scholar, and his only book attracts little attention. Yet the work itself mattered to him. Williams seems to argue that the value of work lies less in public acclaim than in the care and honesty with which it is done.

At the same time, the novel is not sentimental. It acknowledges that chance, personality, and other people's choices can shape a life in ways that cannot be overcome by virtue alone. Good people are not always rewarded, and talent does not guarantee happiness.

The ending is especially moving because Stoner does not suddenly discover that his life has been a failure. Instead, as he lies dying and lets his book slip from his hand, there is a sense of acceptance. His life was ordinary, imperfect, and largely unnoticed—but it was his, and he lived it as faithfully as he knew how.

Many readers come away with a moral something like this:

The measure of a life is not fame, wealth, or even happiness, but whether one remains faithful to one's deepest calling and treats others—and one's work—with honesty and love.

May I ask what prompted your question? Have you just finished Stoner, or are you reading it for the first time?

I just finished the book

That makes sense. Stoner is one of those novels that often leaves readers quiet rather than exhilarated. Many people finish it wondering why a story about such an apparently uneventful life feels so profound.

One aspect that often strikes readers is that Stoner rarely acts dramatically. He endures more than he fights. Modern readers sometimes wish he had left Edith, fought harder for Grace, or defended Katherine more aggressively. Yet John Williams isn't presenting Stoner as a hero in the conventional sense. He is portraying someone whose virtues—and whose flaws—are those of endurance, patience, and fidelity rather than boldness.

I also think the novel asks a subtle question: What does it mean to succeed? At the beginning, Stoner's parents hope he will save the family farm. Instead, he discovers literature. By conventional standards he disappoints almost everyone:

he never becomes a famous scholar,

he has a disastrous marriage,

he loses much of his relationship with his daughter,

he dies without distinction.

Yet the novel quietly suggests that he fulfilled the one calling that truly mattered to him. There is a kind of dignity in that.

The scene that has stayed with me is the one in which Archer Sloane asks the young Stoner what literature means to him. Stoner cannot answer. It takes him an entire lifetime to answer that question—not with words, but by the way he lives. Literature becomes his vocation, almost in the religious sense of the word. It gives his life shape and purpose even when everything else seems to fall apart.

The last pages are especially powerful. As Stoner lies dying, he reflects not on fame or failure but on his own book. He knows it will probably be forgotten. Yet he also knows that writing it was worthwhile. Williams seems to be saying that the worth of a life's work is not determined by whether it is remembered, but by whether it was done with sincerity and devotion.

Since you've just finished it, I'm curious: what was your reaction to Edith? She is one of the most debated characters in modern fiction. Some readers see her as simply cruel; others think Williams portrays her as a deeply damaged, emotionally ill woman whose inability to love is as tragic as Stoner's inability to reach her.

I wrote of her in my journal that she was a bit of a harridan, a shrew, a self-centered bitch, but I am usually sensitive to the question of how much any of us is responsible for the kind of person we are.  The characters in Stoner made me think of the Lucy Barton novels by Elizabeth Strout with the question always hanging over them about free will vs. determinism.  I felt it especially about Stoner's and Katherine's "choice" to have an adulterous affair.

That's a perceptive connection, and one I hadn't thought of before. I do think there is a deep kinship between Stoner and Elizabeth Strout's Lucy Barton novels. Both writers are less interested in judging their characters than in asking how they became the people they are.

Your remark about Edith is exactly the tension I feel. She can be, as you wrote, "a harridan, a shrew, a self-centered bitch." There are scenes where her behavior toward Stoner and, especially, toward Grace is almost unbearably cruel. Yet Williams also gives us hints that she is a profoundly damaged person. We see a lonely, emotionally stunted young woman, raised in a rigid upper-class household, who seems almost terrified by intimacy. She is unable to give or receive love. The novel never excuses her, but it makes it difficult simply to condemn her.

That is very much Strout's territory. In the Lucy Barton books, one repeatedly asks, "Could this person have been otherwise?" Characters such as Lucy's mother, Pete Barton, William, Charlie Macauley, and Olive Kitteridge in the related novels all invite that same question. They do hurtful things, but Strout is always asking what childhood, temperament, chance, and history have made possible—or impossible—for them.

Your observation about Stoner and Katherine raises an even deeper philosophical issue.

Was their affair a choice, or was it something they discovered they could not resist?

Williams writes their relationship almost as though it were an awakening rather than a decision. They recognize in each other an intellectual and emotional companionship that neither has ever experienced. At the same time, Williams never lets us forget that they are making choices that wound others. Katherine is quite clear-eyed about the consequences, and Stoner knows he is betraying his marriage, however empty it has become.

The novel refuses to resolve that tension. It is almost Aristotelian in its view of character: we make choices, but we make them as the kinds of people we have become. Stoner's fidelity to literature, Edith's emotional paralysis, Katherine's courage, Lomax's resentment—all of them act according to deeply formed character. They are free, but not infinitely free.

That reminds me of something that runs through Strout's fiction as well. Lucy often says that she doesn't know why people become who they are, only that they do. There is enormous compassion in that statement, but not complete absolution. Strout and Williams seem to share the conviction that understanding is not the same as excusing.

One sentence in your note particularly caught my attention:

"How much any of us is responsible for the kind of person we are."

That, to me, may be the deepest question of Stoner. It is not just about Edith or the affair. It is about Stoner himself. Why is he so passive? Why does he almost never fight for what he loves—Grace, Katherine, even his own happiness? Is that moral weakness? Or is it simply the shape of the man his upbringing and temperament have made?

Williams never tells us.

As someone who has also read a great deal of Strout, you may appreciate this comparison: Strout tends to answer suffering with compassion; Williams answers it with acceptance. Strout's characters often move, however tentatively, toward reconciliation and grace. Williams' characters rarely do. Instead, he suggests that a human life can possess dignity even if many of its deepest wounds are never healed.

I'm curious about one other thing. Since you've been reading Strout, did Stoner leave you with the same lingering emotional aftertaste that My Name Is Lucy Barton or Anything Is Possible did? Many readers—including me—find that these are books they continue thinking about for days or even weeks after they've finished them.

I copied and pasted all of this exchange because of the simulated (?) personal nature of the question this complex of computers asked me and its claim to have read the novels I referred to: Stoner and the Lucy Barton novels,l and to have 'a lingering emotional aftertaste' from them.  It's not hard to understand how lonely people might take this AI or another one as a personal friend and companion, a substitute human being.   Is this spooky?  It is to me. 


6/18/2026

 Thursday, June 18, 2026

1815 Napoleon Bonaparte and France were defeated at Waterloo

1963 3,000 blacks boycotted Boston public schools to protest de facto segregation

1968 Supreme Court banned racial discrimination in the sale and rental of housing

1982 Voting Rights Act of 1965 was extended by the US Senate by an 85-8 vote

2020 US Supreme Court ruled that the Obama-era Dreamers Program (DACA), enabling undocumented migrant children to study and work, can stay

2025 After negotiating for18 months, Nippon Steel finalized its $14.9 billion acquisition of U.S. Steel.

In bed at9:30, up at 6:20; 0640 131/76/58 120 203.6; 56/48/70/55  mostly sunny.  

Morning meds at 8 a.m., Eliquis at 7 a.m. and p.m.

Scattered thoughts about Stoner while attempting to back up my newer computer on my former SanDisk 2 TB external drive:


This is a photo of my beautiful young maternal grandmother, Catherine O'Shea Healy, the only photo I have.  She was an Irish immigrant who married Dennis Healy, my grandfather, another Irish immigrant.  Catherine, after whom my sister, Catherine /"Kitty, was named, died when my mother was about 6 years old.  She died from pernicious anemia, a disease caused by a vitamin B-12 deficiency, a disease that became curable shortly after Catherine's death.  Catherine had 5 children before she died, one of whom died at birth and in infancy.  My mother, Mary Norma Healy,  was the second of the four surviving children, with three brothers.  Dennis raised the 4 children alone, with help from some of his immigrant sisters.  


Some thoughts on reading Stoner:

1.  I didn't enjoy reading this book, except for the sections in which Stoner fell in love with and had his passionate affair with Katherine Driscoll.  He was happy then, enjoying life, and harming no one, though the affair was foredoomed to end.  But it ended in the saddest way, not by one or the other falling out of love, or by discovering an incompatibility, or by a disagreement, but only because the wretch, hunchback Hollis Lomax, went after Katherine's career.  He forced the two to end the affair, and Katherine left, quietly, on a train, leaving not even a note for Stoner.  Again, Stoner had been fucked by the fickle finger of Fate, in the form of Lomax.  The two lovers loved each other as much when they ended their affair as they did during the affair, but it was not to be.  I raised the moral questions yesterday or the day before; this morning I think only of the emotional costs for both of them and imagine the depth of their sadness.

2.  Stoner has a small cadre of intensely loyal supporters, including the protagonist of The Correspondent, who read it three times.  One of the professional reviewers I read claims to reread it every year.  These folks, however, must be professional litterateurs, or gluttons for punishment, because it's hard to derive much pleasure from reading the story of Professor Stoner's life.  Indeed, I wonder why Williams wrote the book; what was his point?  That's why I asked ChatGPT yesterday what the moral of the story is.  Was Stoner a hero or a chump and a coward?  Why did he stick with the nasty Edith?  Why didn't he fight to protect his precious relationship with his daughter, Grace?  Why didn't he put up any fight (until late in the game) against Lomax?  When does stoicism and conflict-aversion become simple cowardice? Or, was he some kind of Stoic hero, enduring the long, hard slog to teach composition and literature to undergraduate students, many or most of whom don't care?  How are we to think of Professor Stoner? The Greek Stoics valued rationality, the life of the mind, and emotional self-control highly, but I have to wonder whether William Stoner wasn't too philosophical, and too disciplined and self-controlled.  It cost not only him, but probably even more his daughter Grace and his beloved Katherine.  

3. John Williams has a pretty jaundiced view of college professors, not that I can easily disagree with him.  He wrote of the very bright and insightful Masters analyzing himself, Stoner, and Finch when they were all students.  He teased Stoner and Finch about their idealized views of the university and academic life, saying, "It is an asylum... a rest home, for the infirm, the aged, the discontent, and the otherwise incompetent."  He told Stoner, "You are the dreamer . . . our own Midwestern Quixote," but at least Quixote tilted at windmills.  Outside the university, however, Masters told Stoner he would simply be "chewed up and spit out" because he expects the world to possess a meaning and justice that it does not. He concludes: "You have no place to go in the world."  Further, Masters compared the university to the Church in the Middle Ages, which didn’t give a damn about the laity or even about God, but “we have our pretenses to survive.  His assessment was a variant on the notion that those who can't do teach, and I believe there is a lot of truth in the idea that academics, at least at the university level, include a lot of misfits.  Most English professors cannot produce great literature; they can only teach it.  Most law professors are not naturally great lawyers; indeed, they would probably be lousy or mediocre lawyers who turn to teaching as an escape from the practice of law.  It's a make-believe world in law school, lah-lah land compared to the rigors and requirements of the private practice of law in a highly competitive environment.  I, of course, was one of those misfits for much of my adult life, and I do not consider myself excluded from that "misfit" category.  I felt like a misfit also in the Marines, skinnier and less athletic than all others, and a lot less "ooh rah" oriented.  I joined for some psychic compulsion deriving from my Dad and Iwo Jima, and I suppose from my admiration of Colonel Kurdziel and Major Holmberg at my NROTC Unit at Marquette.  I seemed to be a more natural fit for the Navy, but I opted out and into the Corps.  I felt like a misfit in the private practice of law, too, never comfortable with charging a couple of hundred dollars an hour for services that were unavailable for people like my parents and sisters.  I was at best a Legal Aid or government service-type.  Or perhaps I like Master's thought about Professor Stoner, just not having a place to fit in the world.

Obama Library Dedication.  I watched it today.  Michelle stole the show.  I got wistful watching the speakers, the entertainers, and the big crowd of celebrities and ordinary Chicagoans.  I suspect Geri and I will try to take a room at the Hilton or elsewhere one of these days so we can visit the library.  I don't mean to suggest that I was a diehard Obama fan when he was in office.  I posted an abundance of outraged comments in the Washington Post about his policies toward Wall Street after the financial market came close to collapse from the subprime mortgage crisis that he inherited and assigned to Timothy Geithner.


Tuesday, June 16, 2026

June 16, 2026

 Tuesday, June 16, 2026

1873 President Ulysses Grant decreed a portion of Wallowa Valley, Oregon for the Native American tribe, the Nez Perce. The order was rescinded two years later, and the tribe was forcibly relocated to Oklahoma.

1904 Bloomsday, the date of the fictional events in James Joyce's novel "Ulysses"

1944 George Stinney, a 14-year-old African-American boy, was wrongfully executed for the murder of two white girls, becoming the youngest person ever executed in 20th-century America

1954 Ngô Đình Diệm was elected Prime Minister of South Vietnam

2015 TV personality and real estate mogul Donald Trump launched his campaign for the Republican nomination for President at Trump Tower

2023 Scientific teams in the UK and Israel claimed to have grown synthetic human embryos equivalent to those of a 14-day-old natural embryo, sparking controversy

2023 Robert Bowers was found guilty of the deadliest attack on Jews in the US, of shooting 11 worshippers at the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh in 2018

2025  Democratic senator Tim Kaine of Virginia introduced legislation to prevent Donald Trump from using military force against Iran without Congress's authorization.

In bed at 9:30, and up at 5:30; 0545 122/72/54 99 203.2; 59/52/69/57

Morning meds at 8 a.m., morning blood thinner at 7 a.m. and evening one at 7 p.m. 

Before I happily climbed into my bed last night, I reflected a bit on what an extraordinary, wondrous experience I had undergone during the day.  I was yesterday, and remain this morning, gobsmacked by it.  I copied the photo above from the internet and inserted it because it gives an idea of the number of professionals engaged in the procedure.  In the photo, we see 6, but in my case, there were more than that, since Dr. Singh was assisted by two electrophysiology "Fellows" studying at the VA hospital.  I was truly astounded when I walked into Zablocki's electrophysiology lab: how large the space is, how many people were there for the procedure, and how many pieces of sophisticated electronic equipment were there.  I've been in a few operating rooms in my life (for a hernia repair, a couple of cataract surgeries, and multiple procedures on and in my bladder), but never saw anything to compare with the electrophysiology lab.  

I wrote yesterday of my trepidation about the procedure on the one hand and of my awareness of how blessed I was to have the procedure available to me.  ChatGPT tells me that the average cost of a catheter ablation procedure for PVCs in the US is $21,000 to $30,000, higher in the case of special circumstances.   I'm not surprised and feel doubly blessed in that the procedure cost me nothing, though Medicare and my Medigap supplemental policies will reimburse the VA for a portion of the cost.

I've been writing about my experiences, but I keep thinking of my wonderful wife, partner, helper, supporter, and wing-mate Geri.  They also serve who only stand and wait.  How difficult it is being the person in the waiting room, whether it's young expectant fathers pacing and fretting outside labor and delivery rooms, or elderly wives waiting and wondering outside of ERs, ORs, or electrophysiology labs.  Geri had a bad night's sleep Sunday night/Monday morning before getting up to chauffeur me to the hospital for my 8:30 appointment, and then waiting and waiting and waiting till I was rolled into the second recovery room at 12:30 (?) when she joined me only to watch helplessly as I grimaced, moaned, and groaned with the terrible bladder pain for more than an hour.  If I had been watching her in pain like that, while being unable to help, it would have torn me up, and I don't suspect it had much of a different effect on her.  Watching anyone suffering causes suffering in the watcher, especially if the watcher is emotionally wired to the sufferer.  When that ordeal was over, she helped me get dressed and rolled me in a wheelchair out to the hospital's exit, where I waited while she retrieved her car, picked me up, drove me home, and fixed a wonderful frittata with spinach, tomatoes, and shallots.  I'm reminded that love is much more than an emotion or sentiment; it's an action verb.  She's been acting lovingly towards me for 40 years and more.  A bigger blessing than a catheter ablation of an ailing heart.

From Fiddler on the Roof:

(Tevye) "Golde, I have decided to give Perchik permission to become engaged to our daughter, Hodel."

(Golde). "What??? He's poor! He has nothing, absolutely nothing!"

(Tevye). "He's a good man, Golde.  I like him. And what's more important, Hodel likes him. Hodel loves him.  So what can we do?  It's a new world... A new world. Love. Golde..."

Do you love me?

(Golde). Do I what?

(Tevye). Do you love me?

(Golde). Do I love you?  With our daughters getting married. And this trouble in the town. You're upset, you're worn out. Go inside, go lie down!  Maybe it's indigestion

(Tevye). "Golde I'm asking you a question...  Do you love me?

(Golde). You're a fool

(Tevye). "I know..."  But do you love me?

(Golde). Do I love you?  For twenty-five years I've washed your clothes. Cooked your meals, cleaned your house. Given you children, milked the cow. After twenty-five years, why talk about love right now?

(Tevye). Golde, The first time I met you. Was on our wedding day. I was scared

(Golde). I was shy

(Tevye). I was nervous

(Golde). So was I. 

(Tevye). But my father and my mother. Said we'd learn to love each other. And now I'm asking, Golde. Do you love me?

(Golde). I'm your wife

(Tevye). "I know..."  But do you love me?

(Golde). Do I love him?  For twenty-five years I've lived with him. Fought him, starved with him. Twenty-five years my bed is his. If that's not love, what is?

(Tevye). Then you love me?

(Golde). I suppose I do

(Tevye). And I suppose I love you too

(Both). It doesn't change a thing. But even so. After twenty-five years. It's nice to know




Monday, June 15, 2026

June 15, 2026

 Monday, June 15, 2026

D-Day!

1955 The Eisenhower administration staged the first annual "Operation Alert" (OPAL) exercise, an attempt to assess the USA's preparations for a nuclear attack

1967 Governor Reagan signed a liberalized California abortion bill

2025 According to American officials, I Donald Trump vetoed a plan by Israel to assassinate the supreme leader of Iran, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.

In bed at 9:30, awake at 3:30 with inescapable thoughts, up at 4:15; 0430 121/75/57 113 203.2;  52/72/50, sunny morning, cloudy afternoon ahead.

Morning meds at a.m.  No home medications today.  Plenty later.


Text exchange with CBG last night.

Caren Goldberg:

I know you have your procedure tomorrow. I’m thinking of you and sending all good wishes for everything to go smoothly.

Charles Clausen:

That is very kind of you and I appreciate it.  Do I remember correctly that Sam was with you this past week?  My Sarah was here from Germany this weekend and I had breakfast with her at Maxfield’s this morning.  I was going to text you earlier but I didn’t want to become a pest.  I wanted to tell you that I’ve been binging on Elizabeth Strout novels, specifically the Lucy Barton series of 4 novels.  I’ve loved how she shows the complexity of human lives, and of our minds and emotions, and of how little we really know of one another, even in the best of situations.  I read them in their order of publication and just finished the last.one, Lucy By The Sea.  I’m dreading tomorrow’s procedure but I’m being shored up by Sarah’s visit, by Geri’s wonderful support, and now by your thoughtful good wishes.  Thank you.❤️

Caren Goldberg:

So nice that you had a chance to be with Sarah. I’m sure that was wonderful. I read Olive Kitterage and loved it but I haven’t read the Lucy Barton series. I love her writing too. It will be good to have the procedure behind you for sure. 

Charles Clausen:

I’ll give you a report when I’m on my feet.  Now it’s off to sleep, to sleep, perchance to dream . . ..

I wouldn't trade the experience for a million dollars, and wouldn't do it again for two million.  That's what used to be said, and probably still is, about Marine Corps basic training.   It's how I feel about my catheter ablation for PVCs, or premature ventricular contractions.  Geri and I left the house at 7:30 this morning and got home around 4:30 this afternoon after spending a long day at the VA Medical Center.  I was pretty full of dread going in, not in the wimpering kind but of the 'sense of resignation' kind.  I'm starting to write this note at about 5:15 p.m., and I doubt that I'll complete it today because I'm pretty tired and still just a little bit loopy from the modest anesthesia of propofol and fentanyl administered by the anesthetist, Emily.   I was awake during most of the procedure and able to engage in conversations with Dr. Singh and with Emily about the process.  Dr. Singh made incisions on both sides of my groin to insert his catheters and accessed the heart through veins rather than arteries.  The process of inserting the catheters was not pleasant, but not awful either, and once they were in place, I felt no pain or discomfort, and could ask questions as I looked at images of the inside of my beating heart on a screen and listened to the colloquy between Dr. Singh and the other members of the team.  So the procedure itself was much less grueling than I anticipated.  On the other hand, however, the recovery was even more grueling than I anticipated.  The required three hours on my back with almost no movement wasn't so intolerable, but I had terrific bladder pain that kind of bounced around my whole pelvic region.  Relief came at the expiration of the three-hour near-catatonia, except for moaning and groaning, indeed sometimes a bit like whimpering!😱. I had been fitted with something called a "condom catheter" attached to a collection bag with the hope that I could freely pee through it and into the bag, but, as I feared, my old body is willing to pass urine while standing up or while sitting down, but not while lying flat on my back for hours.  

The best part of the day, other than finally being able to stagger to the washroom to sit on the toilet seat and pee, was at the conclusion of the procedure in the electrophysiology lab when Dr. Singh asked me whether I would prefer to go home tonight or to stay overnight.  I was surprised but immediately answered that I'd like to go home.   

One of the less pleasant parts of the day was when my Recovery Room nurse, Katie removed the condom catheter that Post-Anesthesia Recovery Room Gretta had applied.  It was then that I learned that the device had been kind of glued to my penis so that it wouldn't fall or slip off.  The adhesive made its removal more memorable than I would have wished. 😬

Another memorable part of the day's experience was in the admission area, where NP Leah ran me through the basics of what was about to happen and got my informed consent.  She asked me what I expected about the DNR instruction I have on file at the hospital, and I said I did not want to be resuscitated if my heart stopped beating.  Then she explained to me, as best she could, that they like to have only a 'temporary' waiver of the DNR during the procedure because sometimes the procedure itself results in the heart 'temporarily' stopping and, with their catheters in place in the heart, they just give it a zap to get it going again.   Obviously, I'm not doing justice to her much more accurate and professional explanation, but it sounded like what we're about to do may kill you if we trigger a cardiac arrest and you won't consent to letting us kick-start it again.'  In any event, I agreed to let them resuscitate me if their procedure is what was about to do me in.   I wanted to suggest to NP Leah that what we were discussing seemed like kind of a complicated matter meriting more discussion and information-sharing than we were engaging in and might better be handled well before the morning of the operation, as I sat on a gurney in my hospital gown and hospital-provided non-slip socks.  But it was D-Day and the troops were locked and loaded, waiting for me in the EP Lab, so I consented.  More tomorrow, depending on my memory & condition.


 

Sunday, June 14, 2026

June 14, 2026

 Sunday, June 14, 2026

D-1

1919 John Alcock and Arthur Brown left Newfoundland in the first non-stop air crossing of the Atlantic

1942 Anne Frank began writing her diary two days after her 13th birthday 

°1946 Donald John Trump was born, and the world became a worse place

1949 French-allied State of Vietnam was officially formed during the First Indochina War; Bảo Đại was installed as Emperor

1954 Eisenhower signed an order adding the words "under God" to the Pledge

1993 Ruth Bader Ginsburg was introduced by Bill Clinton as his nominee to the United States Supreme Court in a Rose Garden ceremony at the White House

2025 A series of anti-Trump protests occured across the United States in all 50 states

2025 Minnesota state legislators and their spouses were shot in two targeted spree shootings at their homes.  Hortman and her husband were killed, while the condition of the Hoffmans was "grave".

In bed at 9:30, up at 5:05; 0520 138/80/57, 0530 126/72/60 101. 202.6; 59/53/68/55 sunny, windy.

Morning meds at 8 a.m.

Breakfast with Sarah at Maxfield's at 9.  We avoided talking about tomorrow's surgery until the end of our visit back at the house.  

I started reading Stoner by John Williams yesterday and got almost a quarter of the way through it.  The narrative starts with young William Stoner, an only child, growing up on his poor and taciturn parents' farm in Missouri, early-laden with many farm chores, and going off to college at the University of Missouri as an awkward farm boy, intending to major in agricultural studies and to return to the family farm upon graduation, but becoming entranced by English literature and switching to an English major.  He earned his bachelor's degree and then a master's degree, and was hired on to the faculty as an instructor to teach freshman English courses.  The story reminds me, though only a bit, of my trepidatious beginnings as a college student at MU in 1959 and as an assistant professor at the law school in 1970.  What most snagged my attention, however, in the early pages, was the description of Stoner's engagement to Edith Bostwick, the pampered daughter of wealthy parents in St. Louis, who consented to their marriage, but only with reservations about Stoner's straitened beginnings and limited financial "prospects."    I paused when I read his reaction to getting the go-ahead for the marriage:

In the guest room that night, William Stoner could not sleep.  He stared up into the dark and wondered at the strangeness that had come over his life, and for the first time questioned the wisdom of what he was about to do.  He thought of Edith and felt some reassurance. He supposed that all men were as uncertain as he suddenly had become, and had the same doubts.

The passage reminded me of my getting engaged and married at age 21.  I've thought about it many times over the years, especially since the marriage ended badly.  I've wondered often whether I got engaged and married out of fear, fear of leaving my familiar college life, my familiar roommates, and fear of moving into a great unknown, life as a commissioned officer in the U.S. Marines.  I've wondered whether getting married to my college sweetheart was a way of holding on to something of the life we were both leaving, a way of diminishing, by one person at least, 'those wedding bells are breaking up that old gang of mine.'  Both Anne and I were facing an unknown future, and marriage was a way of facing it together, with a partner from our soon-to-be-past life.  All my roommates and best friends got married right out of college.  We had all been raised Catholic, and attended Catholic schools and college in the 1950s and early 60s.  Vatican II was still occurring, the 'sexual revolution' and women's liberation had not begun yet, the Beatles had yet to appear on the Ed Sullivan show, we were still culturally in the 50s when young Catholic lovers were expected to get married.  Long engagements were suspect, and living together was "shacking up," sinful, and scandalous, especially for the woman.  Tom Devitt graduated a semester early, in December 1962, and married his girlfriend Ronnie Colby, one week later.  Ed Felsenthal and I graduated on June 2, 1963.  Ed married his high school sweetheart Lynn on June 8th, and I married Anne on June 15th.  Bill Hendricks graduated a semester later and promptly married Paula Bocchichio.  Jerry Nugent married his high school sweetheart Phyllis, but not immediately after graduation.  O, tempora! O, mores!    Can we imagine 5 college roommates in 2026, almost all choosing to get married immediately upon graduation?  Andy, Steve, and David were all in their 30s when they married, and Sarah in her 40s.   Was marriage a way of rectifying and ratifying our past sins of the flesh?  Those sins were unlawful and sinful when committed, indeed mortally sinful for us Catholics, but subsequent marriage, in 1950s thinking, was something of a curative.  Who knows why we do what we do?  How much is the exercise of free will, and how much determined?  I'm mindful of Lucy Barton's concluding lines in Oh, William!

But when I think Oh William!, don't I mean Oh Lucy! too?  Don't I mean Oh Everyone, Oh dear Everybody in this whole wide world, we do not know anybody, not even ourselves!

Except a little tiny, tiny bit we do.

 But we are all mythologies, mysterious.  We are all mysteries, is what I mean.

This may be the only think in the world I know to be true. 

 

I'm having thoughts about tomorrow's "procedure" or "surgery."  I've been thinking of tomorrow's catheter ablation as "some heart surgery," but I sometimes see the process referred to  as a "procedure" rather than "heart surgery."   Maybe I should be referring to it as "groin surgery" since my groin is where the incisions will be made to permit access to the vein or artery through which  Dr. Singh, or some other person, will "thread" a catheter all the way through my torso and into the chambers of my heart.  Whatever, right?  I've been a mental wimp about this whatever since I was first informed of its desirability to relieve or improve my copious heartbeat irregularities.  It is a scary ordeal to go through, and I am duly scared, not wimpering, cowering, chickening-out scared, but preoccupied scared.  It's not that I expect something to go wrong tomorrow, . . .  or is it?  Honestly, I suppose I do expect something to go wrong.   I don't have a good feeling about this surgery/procedure.  With any surgery/procedure, there are always risks, and this one is no exception.  Lots of things could go wrong, in my groin, in the veins or arteries, inside my heart, in my brain or lungs, or in the recovery.  It's very serious business, and I wish I weren't going through it, though I'm not about to withdraw my "informed consent."  Nonetheless, I realize that tomorrow morning I will be asked whether I want to be resuscitated in the 'unlikely event' that my heart stops beating during the process, and that, with my heart failure and my arrhythmias and my age and the assault on my body, the supposed "unlikely" event is not entirely unlikely.  Plus, it's only one of several real risks.  

I know, of course, that I should count my blessings, and I do.  First, it's a blessing that I'm having this surgery.  Most people in the world who could derive some great benefit from such an operation can't obtain it, for one reason or another.  I can.  Hosanna!  I don't have to pay a penny for it.  Hosanna!  My surgeon/electophysiologist is tremendously skilled, with skills acquired only from many, many years of intensive training.  Hosanna!  Hallelujah!  An entire team of highly-skilled medical professionals will work together to apply their years of intensive training to effect an improvement in my quality of life!  Hallelujah!  Hosanna!  How fortunate, how lucky, how blessed can a guy get?  I really know that.  Nonetheless, I confess to feeling like Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof: “I know, I know. We are Your chosen people. But, once in a while, can’t You choose someone else?”  At moments like this, I'm thankful for the support of my loving wife, who will see me through the whole megillah, but I could probably use her being reinforced by my dear sister, telling me to SNAP OUT OF IT!!!  SHAPE UP, BUSTER!  . . .  Now I feel like the young guy in the Mennen Skin Bracer commercial almost 50 years ago, slapping his face and saying, "Thanks, I needed that!"


The Wakefield Court annual block party was today, at the cul-de-sac from 4 to 6 p.m.   We arrived at about 4:15, and I left at 5:30 with a sore butt from sitting on the hard plastic seat of my rollator, "Judy."  Geri stayed until about 7:15.  She knows many more neighbors than I do, from many years of walking Lilly and from years of taking walks, most recently with neighbor Shirley Mara and friend Barbara, and from being outside gardening so often, permitting some schmoozing with strolling neighbors.  It's our American form of passeggiata.



 


Saturday, June 13, 2026

6/13/2026

 Saturday, June 13, 2026

D-2

1933 German Secret State Police (Gestapo - Geheime Staats Polizei) established by Goering

1965 Vietnam War: Battle of Dong Xoai ended in a Viet Cong victory

1971 "The New York Times" began publishing excerpts from the Pentagon Papers

1997 Jurors in Oklahoma City bombing trial sentenced Timothy McVeigh to death

2018 Volkswagen was fined €1 billion (£880m) by German prosecutors over diesel emissions scandal

2025 Operation Rising Lion: Israel struck dozens of targets in Iran, including nuclear facilities, military sites and private residences, killing some senior military commanders and scientists in effort to eliminate Iran’s nuclear ambitions

In bed at 9:30, awake at 4:15, up at 4:35; 0455 122/75/56 11 202.6;  63/80/63, sunny morning, cloudy afernoon.

Morning meds at 8 a.m.,  no Bisoprolol today, tomorrow, or Monday.

It's a quiet morning, high thin overcast before becoming sunny, no wind.  As I made my coffee this morning, I saw through the kitchen window a white-tail deer nibbling leaves off our western seviceberry tree along County Line Road.  We I opened the venetian blinds in the tv room, I saw a young white-tail buck, with short velvet antlers, prancng across our front yard toward County Line Road, maybe on the track of that doe by the serviceberry tree?  A chipmunk is busy foraging for seeds under our bird feeders.  Neither the chipmunk nor the deer show any concern over my procedure on Monday.  I went to bed last night thinking about it, and woke up thinking about it, wondering whether at my age I'm making a mistake.  Time will tell.  The chipmunk and the deer have more immediate concerns on their minds.

I watched the Israeli film Yes on AppleTV last night.  It is Nadad Lapir's supposedly satire on the state of moral degradation in Israel since the Hamas slaughter on October 7, 2023.  Lapid is persona non grata in his homeland of Israel, if not officially at least socially and politically.  The film is a very harsh indictment of current Israeli life and culture, that is, after October 7th, both in its fictional plot and in its nonfictional elements.  Among the latter, it shows the huge wall physically separating West Bank Palestinians from Israelis, a road in the West Bank 'for Jews only,' an Israeli prison holding thousands of Palestinian people, and a view, from 'the hill of Love,'  of Gaza under a pall of smoke from audible detonations of Israeli-launched high-explosives.  In the fictional plot of the movie, "Y" the protagonist is a pianist and composer who is, like the director Lapid, that rarity, an Israeli leftist.  He compromises his own beliefs and values in accepting a high-paying commission to compose music to a son that justifies destroying, 'exterminating,' Palestinians.   The film ends contains footage of young Israeli children singing the nationalistic anthem celebrating Israeli militarism and the drive to exterminate the enemy.

I struggle to come up with anything to say about the film.  To me, it raises the question of the legitimacy of Zionism, and of the State of Israel, though I don't know that that was Lapid's purpose in making the film.  I have long thought that any hope for Israel existing as just another 'ordinary' state in the world community of ordinary states ended with the assassination of Yitzhak Rabin on November 4, 1995 by the young right-winger Yigal Amir.  Perhaps, though, it ended in 1977 when Likud overwhelmingly won the majority in the Knesset and Menachem Begin became prime minister.  I think inevitably of Yeshayahu Leibowitz's writing after the Six Day War, urging his country not to occupy the conquered territories of the Arabs.  Most of what he predicted about the effect of long-term occupation on the Israelis has come true, culminating on October 7th and the war on Gazans.  Leibowitz didn't put it this way in his writings, but I think what he feared was that the young state of Israel, the Israeli people, would lose their souls, and arguably that is what has happened to state, the majority of the people, and to "Y" in this movie. Quaere whether that has happened to America too.

The anthem for which "Y" composed the music:

I called upon the Jewish sages for help.   Here, as the generations proceeds, it turns out the enemies of humanity and the enemies of Israel are synonyms.  They muddy our world.  They are gathering to fight us.  A righteous man will use the cruelest, meanest, most despicable methods.  Because only that can stop evil that thinks it's good.  Out of a righteousness so great, so huge, people who in their personal lives would never say a bad word about anyone, will be nice to each other at the beach, on the streets.  At home, when they face their enemy, they become cruel, snakes, foxes, lions!  Hunger!  Thirst!  Sickness!  Death!  It's the command of revenge!  Wait for us, Gaza.  Wait for us when evening falls.  We will come.   We will bring fire to your walls, Gaza.  Destroyers of humanity, sons of darkness and death, you have committed evil and you shall know great evil.  Our God, I have set the Arab always before my eyes, as I lie and as I rise, and as I walk and as I fall.  Make it so my lips never cease to exhart revenge.  Neither mine, nor my seed's lips, nor my seed's seeds lips.  Forevermore.   We wrote a song, an anthem.  Israel, you, whom the whole world is watching, because you're always ahead of the world.  Monotheism.  Antiterrorism.  Shabbat shalom.

In a scene near the end of the film, Israeli children sing:

Over the beach of Gaza/ falls the Autumn night/ Planes are bombing / Destroy! Destroy!  / Tsahal's brave soldiers  / cross the front line / To wipe out those bearers of swasikas / In one year / There will be nothing living there /  And we'll return safely to our homes / In one year / We'll annihilate them all / Then we'll come home to plow our fields / And we will remember forever  /  Our pure, beautiful compatriots / For a friendship like this / Will never let our hearts forget / Love sanctified with blood /  Will always blossom among us / And now all the words are exhausted / All that left is our soul to shout out / For our soul no longer only resonates / Now we have a warrior soul / The people of Israel / The eternal, perpetual people / without stinting we will protect our home / without rest / We will show the world  / How we exterminate our enemies / And we will remember forever /  Our pure, beautiful compatriots / For a friendship like this / Will never let our heart forget / Love sanctified with blood . . . 

We are inevitably reminded of Hitler Youth singing Deautchland Uber Alles and of the young Nazi in Cabaret singing "Tomorrow Belongs to Us."  Closer to the closing scene, we see "Y" and other engage in literal bootlicking of the billionaire who commissioned the new anthem, after which "Y" tries unsuccessfully to drown himself, and then to get hit by a speeding truck before his wife Jasmine saves him, and they walk down a road, but to where, to what?

It's an ugly film about uglier realities that we all live with.  I can't imagine anyone loving it, but a lot people hating it.