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Tuesday, July 14, 2026

7/13/2026

 Monday, July 13, 2026

1949 Pope Pius XII excommunicated communist Catholics

1960 US Democratic convention nominated Catholic JFK for the presidency

1967 Riots broke out in Newark, New Jersey; 27 died

2018 Outline of a 5,000-year-old henge was discovered at Newgrange, Ireland, through drought and drone footage

2024 Donald Trump survived an assassination attempt in rural Butler, Pennsylvania

2025   Israeli strikes kill at least 30 people, including six children, at a water collection zone, bringing the official death toll in Gaza to over 58,000

2025   The United States Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit rejected Donald Trump's second bid to overturn the civil ruling of Carroll II (2022)

In bed at 9, up at 6:30; 0645 134/79/64 116 204,0;78/89/66, sunny.  I had a bad pain night, right flank, bottom of rib cage, neck, even a toe on my left foot, plus I passed hardly any urine during the night.  After taking my 'vitals,' I stayed on the recliner and slept sitting up until 8:20 when Geri came in to check on me.   

Morning meds at 9:30 a.m., and Eliquis at 8:40 a.m. and 7 p.m.

Semi-lost day.  Last night's semi-sleepless & painful night impacted my day.  I've been a little out of sorts and brain foggy all day.  I did take a trip out to La-Z Boy in Wauwatosa and purchased a replacement recliner to replace my Barcalounger, which is too big for my shrinking body and, I think, is contributing to my right-side flank pain.  On the way home, I stopped at the Whitefish Bay Library and checked out a copy of Elizabeth Strout's Tell Me Everything, which is the fifth and last novel in her Lucy Barton series, the others of which I've read already.

I bought the new recliner because I suspect, but without much conviction, that the Barcalounger is contributing to the recurring and often persistent pain on the right side of my torso.  That pain is worse when I sit on the Barcalounger and better when I sit on the La-Z-Boy in my bedroom, which was built for a guy my height.  Hence, my hope is for a health and lifestyle benefit, but I won't be surprised if the hope is in vain.  The one they have in stock is gray, and it would be a six-week wait to get one in a brownish color to go with the color scheme in the TV room, so I went with the gray, knowing Geri would be displeased, as she was.  Two thoughts motivated my choice.  First, another 6 weeks of pain, and second, I could die in the next 6 weeks (or 6 days or 6 hours). It wasn't very rational thinking, but, as I wrote above, I've been a bit brain foggy today.  The possibility of near-term death is never very far from me, and it's been closer since I developed heart failure and cardiac arrhythmia conditions.  On71, 7 top of that came the month-long coverage of Mitch McConnell's mysterious hospitalization at 84 (my age) and Lindsey Graham's death at 71, reminding me of how old I am.  






Sunday, July 12, 2026

7/12/2026

 Sunday, July 12, 2026

1804 Alexander Hamilton dies after being shot in a pistol duel by Aaron Burr

1951 Mob tries to keep black family from moving into all-white Cicero, Illinois

1966 Start of 3 day race riot in Chicago, looting brings out National Guardsmen

1967 Race riot in Newark, New Jersey, 26 killed, 1,500 injured & over 1,000 arrested

t6y

In bed at 9:05, up at 5:05; 0515 203.8 135/82/65 130; 63/82/62 sunny

Morning meds at 10:15 a.m., and Eliquis at 6:53 a.m. and 7 p.m.

I finished Ann Patchett's The Dutch House this morning.  I am hesitant to write about it because it triggers so many thoughts that I can't adequately express.  It is a story about intra-family relationships: brother -  sister, parent - child, step-parent - step-children, and husband - wife.  It's also a story about the relationship between Christian saintliness and mental illness and the costs of the Christian ethic, reminding me of Reinhold Niebuhr's An Interpretation of Christian Ethics, and its chapters titled "The Ethic of Jesus" and "The Relevance of an Impossible Ethical Ideal."  It's a story about grudges and forgiveness that also raises the persistent issue of free will vs. determinism.  It has been aptly described as resembling a fairy tale (evil stepmother, victimized children), but the characters and plot seemed believable enough to me.

The narrator of the novel is Danny Conroy, and its heroes are he and his seven-year-old sister, Maeve.  They grew up in the elegant, opulent eponymous mansion of the book's title.  Their father bought the mansion for their mother, Elna.   Their mother, however, hated the house and the wealthy lifestyle that came with it, and left the family when Danny was 4 and Maeve was 11.  The story was that she walked out on her husband and her children to move to India and work with the poor.  Elna plays a central but absent role in the novel until towards the end of the story, when she reappears in her children's lives, and the story of her departure from the family becomes less mysterious.  The family's housekeeper, Sandy, and the children's nanny, Flossie (Fiona) also reappear and provide more information about Elna's profound unhappiness in the Dutch House.  It turns out that the household staff had a deep love for Elna, whom they considered to be a true saint.

Why did Elna leave the house and the family?

Danny to Maeve: "OK, if you know so much about her, tell me why she left.  Maeve:  "She wanted - she stopped, exhaled, . . . she wanted to help people."  Danny:  People other than her family.  Maeve: "She made a mistake.  Can't you understand that.  She's covered in shame.  That's why she never got in touch with us when she got back from India. . .  Danny: Abandoning your children to go help the poor is India means you're a narcissist who wants the adoration of strangers . . . What kind of person leaves their kids? . . . Maeve: "Men! Men leave their children all the time and the world celebrates them for it.  The Buddha left and Odysseus left and no one gave a shit about their sons.  They set out on their noble journeys to do whatever the hell they wanted to do and thousands of years later we're still singing about it.

Throughout her life, Elna devoted herself to helping others.  

Mt. 19:21: Jesus said unto him, “If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell what thou hast and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in Heaven; and come and follow Me.”

Lk. 14:26: If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

Elna was in a convent when Cyril Conroy, Maeve and Danny's father, persuaded her to leave and marry him.  Throughout the novel, she appears as a radically committed Christian, someone who has completely internalized the ethic of Jesus of Nazareth.   What was Patchett's purpose in creating this character who behaves as she does?  What is she saying about Christianity? The teachings of Jesus?  The relevance of Jesus's teaching to real life?

    I came to this novel because of its focus on the loving relationship between a sister and a brother, which of course reminded me of my relationship with my sister.  For the last several years of her life, we started every single morning conversing with one another.   In the novel, the sister Maeve is the older sibling, whereas in our lives, Kitty was the younger.  We were only 2 years apart, whereas, with a 7-year age difference and an absent mother, Maeve took on a semi-parental role with Danny.  Nonetheless, the two of them reminded me of Kitty and me.

    Each of the principal characters in the novel has some flaws.  No one's perfect.  Danny was pretty vindictive towards his mother, never entirely getting over it.  He went through an entire medical education and residency, never intending to use the education for any healing purpose.  He just wanted to deplete his father's educational trust fund so his stepsisters wouldn't have access to it.  He and his faher both had a lust for real estate.  And, as he says of himself and his sister, "We had made a fetish out of our misfortune, fallen in love with it." Maeve was pretty nasty about her mother's caring for the demented or aphasic Andrea Conroy.  Andrea, on the other hand, was just about perfectly evil when she ousted Maeve from her bedroom in the Dutch House, and then ousted both Maeve and Danny from the house and their putative inheritances from their father.  She was like Cinderella's evil stepmother.  

    Reading a book like this makes me wish I were a member of a book club that had read the book.  It's a great subject for discussion.  

De mortuis nil nisi bonum.  Lindsey Graham has died at age 71.  'nuf said.

The US has bombed more than 300 targets in Iran in the last few days,, yet we are told by our Dear Leader that we are not at war.  More happy horseshit from the American government.  It never ends.

Saturday, July 11, 2026

7/11/2016

 Saturday, July 11, 2016

1798 US Marine Corps was formally established as a distinct military branch by an Act of Congress signed by President John Adams

1863 1st draft lottery in New York City; exemptions are offered for $300,

1955 Congress authorized all US currency to say "In God We Trust"

1995 More than 8,000 Bosnian Muslim men and boys were massacred by Bosnian Serbs after they overran the UN "safe haven" of Srebrenica on directive of Radovan Karadži

2025 Israeli settlers killed two Palestinians near Ramallah in the West Bank. One of the victims, identified as a Palestinian-American, was beaten to death,  the other victim shot in the chest. 

2025 Donald Trump confirmed plans to sell weapons to NATO allies to be provided to Ukraine after the Pentagon previously paused weapon shipments

In bed around 9:15, up at 5:40; 0555 203.8 144/80/58 118, 0605 144/78/57; 64/78/61, mostly cloudy

Morning meds at 9:30 a.m., and Eliquis at 7 a.m. and  p.m.  I'm wondering about the blood pressure readings again - will decide tomorrow whether to 'secure message' cardiology and NPs Maggie and Kali.

Some thoughts at midday near midmonth and midyear and nearing my endtime on a near-perfect summer day when I'm more interested in reading and napping than in writing.

1. The Dutch House.  I'm really into it, chapter 9, page 143 of 344.

I was struck by a passage about the role of chance in our lives, the protagonist speaking of how he met on a train the woman whom he would eventually marry:

In you lived in Jenkintown in 1968 or went to school at Choate, chances were good you'd cross paths with most of the people there evenually, even if just to nod and say hello, but New York City was a wild card.  Every hour was made up of a series of chances, and choosing to walk down one street rather than another had the potential to change everything: whom you met, what you saw or were spared from seeing.  In the early days of our relationship, Celeste loved nothing more than to recount our original story to friends, to strangers, and sometimes to me when we were alone.  She'd meant to be on the 1:30 train from Penn Station that day but her roommate wanted to take the subway together as far as Grand Central.  The roommate that then proceeded to dawdle with her packing so long that Celeste missed her train.

"I could have taken some other train," she said, putting her head on my chest.  "Or I could have taken the 4:05 and ended up in a different car.  Or I could have picked the right car, but ended up in a different seat.  We could have missed each other."

How often I think of the role of Chance in our lives, in the relationships we form and the choices we make.  And of the role of Fate, Kismet, or determinism vs. free will. 

2. Geri spent most of the morning watering and otherwise tending to her new grass patches where the two tall spruce trees used to be, weeding and otherwise tending to the marginal gardens bordering the backyard.

3. I noted the killings on the West Bank because we Americans are so complicit it them.  The settlement movement is driven by religious zealots who believe, or purport to believe, that Judea and Samaria were promised to them by GOD, and by nationalist zealots hellbent on expanding the borders of Greater Israel.  Our government has tolerated and encouraged the settlement movement by not effectively opposing it, either under Republican or Democratic administrations.  By continually providing billions of dollars of military and other support to the Israeli government, regardless of its treatment of Palestinians in Gaza and in the West Bank, we have greenlighted years of atrocities. 

I so often note Israeli crimes against Palestinians in my daily anniversaries listings not because of an anti-Israel animus or, worse yet, anti-semitism, but because America is so complicit in it, unlike the crimes in, e. g., Myanmar, China, Somalia, Sudan, or Haiti.  We have enabled these crimes for years, while publicly engaging in pearl-clutching and hand-wringing.   I recall all the public wondering about "Why do they hate us?", after 9/11.  Our complicity in Israel's crimes is one reason.

4. Our American Gestapo.  I can't help thinking of DHS's Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents as Gestapo agents.  I confess to having a deep-seated distrust of cops from growing up in the 40s and 50s in Chicago, where police corruption and criminality were rampant.  I've never lost a leeriness of men (and now women) who choose a line of work that requires them to carry a lethal weapon and a cudgel.  I've never believed that all undocumented immigrants should be treated as dangerous criminals, though I know a small percentage of them fit into this category and deserve this treatment.  I believe that DHS under Trump and Kristi Noem purposefully recruited anti-immigrant, thugish brutes for their vastly-expanded ICE force, and that the killings of Renee Good and VA nurse Alex Pretti in Minneapolis were at least manslaughter, if not some degree of murder.  The most recent killing in Houston comes as no surprise.

5. Not all conspiracy theories are false.  Some paranoids are being followed.  Trump's firing of the last two commissioners on the Election Assistance Commission is just the latest and most visible evidence of the conspiracy by Trump and his myrmidons to steal the midterm election in November and the 2028 general election.  Joseph Stalin: "Those who vote decide nothing; those who count the votes decide everything.

6. I write these journal entries in bits and snatches, starting in the middle of the night or early morning and continuing throughout the day.  They are often discursive and perhaps incoherent, in part because they are done 'on the run' and are not edited.  So it goes with writings that are not intended for publication (other than the daily unedited blog) and are not edited, but it reminds me too that if I were not writing down my thoughts but rather just thinking them as they dart around my brain like minnows in a bait bucket, even more unorganized and random than my journal jottings, my thinking would be even more fortuitous, erratic, scatterbrained.  

7. Anniversary thoughts. l First, it is always the case that our wars are fought by the poor and powerless and profited from by the rich and powerful.  "The strong do what they will, the weak suffer what they must." Thucydides, History of the Peloponnesian War.  This is why Trump called the dead Marines and soldiers at the World War I Aisne-Marne American cemetery in France and the 1,800 Marines killed at the battle of Belleau Wood "suckers" and "losers" because, in a tragically real sense, that's what they were, suckers for falling for the propaganda that urged them to fight and die pro patria mori, and losers of their young lives.  How many politicians and wealthy draft-age men served in Vietnam with my fellow Marines and me?  John Kerry.  Who else?  George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Trump?  Were my buddies and I in the Marines suckers and losers?  In a sense, we were.  Trump was at least partially right.

Second, the anniversary of the massacre at Srebrenica, ordered by the Serbian genocidal war criminal Radovan Karadžić, reminds me again of how barbarian Europe history is.  And they claim to be Christian and civilized.




Friday, July 10, 2026

710/2026

 Friday, July 10, 2026

1917 Emma Goldman was imprisoned for obstructing the draft

1971 National Women's Political Caucus (NWPC) was founded by women Bella Abzug, Betty Friedan, Shirley Chisholm, Myrlie Evers-Williams, Gloria Steinem, et al.

2025 Israeli airstrikes killed at least 15 Palestinians, including eight children and two women, queuing for nutritional supplements near a medical point in Deir al-Balah, Gaza. They were among at least 82 killed in strikes in Gaza. The Israel Defense Forces said in a statement that it struck a member of Hamas's elite Nukhba forces who took part in the October 7 attacks.

In bed at 9:10, up at 4:35; 0555  203.2. 133/71/60  118; 63/75/63, sunny early, cloudy afternoon.

Morning meds at a.m., and Eliquis at 7 a.m. and  p.m.

Tom Lake.  I finished the novel yesterday afternoon.  I try - unsuccessfully - to remember why I chose this particular novel, of all of Ann Patchell's novels, to get introduced to her writing.  It's an interesting story, but not my cup of tea.

One aspect of the novel that I enjoyed very much is that it is semi-structured around Thonton Wilder's great play Our Town, which I've referred to at least a few times in entries in this journal, specifically Emily Webb's return to life in her mother's kitchen and her bitter disappointment that we human beings fail to appreciate life as we live it.   

But, just for a moment now we’re all together. Mama, just for a moment we’re happy. Let’s look at one another.

I can’t. I can’t go on. It goes so fast. We don’t have time to look at one another. I didn’t realize. All that was going on in life, and we never noticed. Take me back – up the hill – to my grave.

But first: Wait! One more look. Good-by, Good-by, world. Good-by, Grover’s Corners. Mama and Papa. Good-bye to clocks ticking. And Mama’s sunflowers. And food and coffee. And new-ironed dresses and hot baths. And sleeping and waking up. Oh, earth, you’re too wonderful for anybody to realize you.

Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? – every, every minute?

Stage Manager: No. The saints and poets, maybe they do some.

I've long loved Our Town and Emily's soliloquy,  so it was easy to relate to its incorporation into this novel.  I had a hard time, on the other hand, relating to Lara's relationship with Duke at Tom Lake, and especially with her visit with him in the asylum/rehab facility outside Boston, and their sneaky bathroom sex there.  Their steamy relationship at the summer stock theater can be chalked up simply to youth, hormones, newfound freedom, and naughtiness, but why, after he betrayed and dumped her so unceremoniously, did she go to Boston at his call and into the bathroom?  It's a sign of my opaqueness, and I suppose of Lara's opaqueness, that I can't understand why she went into the bathroom and took off her tights.  I suppose the trip to Boston and the bathroom sex were characteristic of the relationship between Lara and Duke from the beginning.  He was using her, and she was using him, like the Eurythmics' Sweet Dreams:

Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I've traveled the world and the seven seas
Everybody's lookin' for something

Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused
 

When Duke called her in New York and asked her to travel up to Boston to visit him, "I told him yes, because yes was the only word I had for Duke.  Yes was the only word I knew."  And I, an old man, wonder "Why?"  And wonder about the mysteries of male-female relationships.  And wonder again about "free will" and determinism. 

I was surprised by Lara's attitudes about sexual morality and about abortion.  We know she was born in the early 1960s, a full generation (and more, really) after my pre-WWII generation, and she doesn't appear to have any religious formation in her background, but I was nonetheless surprised that she slept with Duke the day she met him, and indeed 'shacked up' with him immediately at Tom Lake.  And, even after he so callously moved on from her to Pallace once she was replaced as the lead actress in Our Town, she nonetheless bussed up to Boston to see him and be fucked by him, on demand, in the hospital, "because yes was the only word I had for Duke."  Pride, self-respect, agency?  Ann Patchett was raised, and perhaps still is, Catholic.  She has said that her writing and attitudes are deeply influenced by Catholic values, although her novels are not overtly religious.   In any case, for this old, pre-60s, cradle Catholic, Lara's sexual looseness with Duke was hard to relate to, and even more difficult was the ease with which she had their fetus aborted after Boston: 

I'm here to tell you, I felt nothing but grateful.  There was always going to be a part of the story I didn't tell Joe or the girls.  What I did was mine alone to do.  I tore the page from the calendar and threw it away.

The act is not hard to understand, but the emotional easiness about it that she claims is. 

An interesting subtext of the story is that parents lie to their children, or at least withhold the truth from them.  Lara wasn't about to reveal to her husband or her daughters the truth about her great sex with Duke, about her trip to Boston and the bathroom tryst, or her pregnancy and abortion thereafter.  I'm reminded of Maggie Smith's great poem, Good Bones:

Life is short, though I keep this from my children.
Life is short, and I’ve shortened mine
in a thousand delicious, ill-advised ways,
a thousand deliciously ill-advised ways
I’ll keep from my children. The world is at least
fifty percent terrible, and that’s a conservative
estimate, though I keep this from my children.
For every bird there is a stone thrown at a bird.
For every loved child, a child broken, bagged,
sunk in a lake. Life is short and the world
is at least half terrible, and for every kind
stranger, there is one who would break you,
though I keep this from my children. I am trying
to sell them the world. Any decent realtor,
walking you through a real shithole, chirps on
about good bones: This place could be beautiful,
right? You could make this place beautiful.

I sent this poem to my sister Kitty a few years before her death.  She told me she thought it was terribly depressing, and I replied that I thought it was hopeful, with the conclusion that

 This place could be beautiful,

right?  You could make this place beautiful. 

The belief that, although the world is "a real shithole," we can make it beautiful, that so much depends on our attitude and how we react to and interact with the shithole, what we bring to the game.  Isn't there much truth in that thought?  I don't know that I persuaded Kitty, or even that I've persuaded myself, but I hope so.

Should I read another Ann Patchett novel, or perhaps some of her essays?  I can't remember why, out of her 10 novels, I picked Tom Lake to read.   There must have been some reason. (Here I am again; free will v. determinism!). If I were to read another of her novels, it would be The Dutch House because of its focus on the close relationship of a sister and brother who grew up in challenging circumstances.


The Dutch House.  I decided to stick with Ann Patchett for at least one more novel.   I bought the satory because of its treatment of the brother-sister relationship at its heart, but I was struck by this sentence early on:

Maeve and I were forever under the impression that we were moments away from cracking the code on our life, and that soon we would understand the impenetrable mystery that was our father.

Kitty and I never got close to understanding the mystery that was our father until later in life. 

Jimmy.  Katherine has been with her dad since Wednesday.  He mostly sleeps.  He woke up today, looked at Katherine, and said, "Sis."  Geri looms large in whatever thinking he has retained.



 

Thursday, July 9, 2026

7/9/2026

 Thursday, July 9, 2026

1956 Dick Clark's first appearance as host of American Bandstand

1978, the American Nazi Party held a rally at Marquette Park, Chicago

1980 Seven people died in a stampede to see Pope John Paul II in Brazil

1987 Colonel Oliver North, USMC, admitted to shredding Iran-Contra evidence

2021 June 2021 was declared the hottest June ever recorded in the US in 127 years, with an average temperature of 72.6 degrees F (4.2 degrees above average


6:30 a.m. Bambi, a regular visitor recently in our backyard.  We never see his mother, only him.  He's resting, chewing his cud, and vulnerable, waiting for his mother, I suspect.

7:45 a.m. On the other side of the house, two tom turkeys feast on seeds spread on the ground under the bird feeders

In bed at 10, up at 5:40; 0555 202.0 133/78/60  126; 67/79/66 cloudy

Morning meds at a.m., and Eliquis at 6:40 a.m. and 7 p.m.  Trulicity injection at 7:30 p.m.

Three years ago today, I wondered: Cur scribo?  I often wonder.  Is this just some form of narcissism?  Is it just to have something to do while idling on my recliner?  Am I just using this exercise as a daily check on cognitive decline, a clue for creeping dementia?  Is it because I have so few interactions with other human beings, and so few friends that I have regular contact with?  Just a silent way of blowing off steam over the sorry state of the world and the U.S.'s deep polarization?  Am I trying to leave a record of having been alive the last days of my life, expecting that I could kick the bucket anytime now?  Is it, as I have long thought, just a very inadequate substitute for my daily morning chats with my beloved sister with whom I shared a relationship like no other?  Or is it what I suggested in an earlier journal entry, just the need to write, as in 'fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, a writer gotta write'?  There was a fairly long period after my grandmother died in 1995 when I reestablished (or first established) communication with my father and I sent him a handwritten letter every day.  Trying to make up for lost time?  Or just trying to give him something to look forward to, because I knew he enjoyed receiving those letters?  And I enjoyed writing them, just as I enjoyed sending long, thoughtful text messages to Kitty all those mornings, for 5 or 6 years.  I kept sending her those morning messages well after she was no longer able to write back when she was in her last days, and even for a week or more after she died.  I didn't want to stop even though I knew she was not with me anymore.  A form of denial perhaps, but I knew she was gone and had been pre-grieving her loss long before she finally died.  Fish gotta swim.       

 

Mousicide.  We have had two mouse sightings in our house this summer, both by me, one in the basement workroom and one in my bedroom.  Geri called our professional rodent-fighter to the house, and he did whatever it is he does, checking for access points, etc. Still, Geri opened the door to the basement yesterday and uttered a little shriek when she saw the mouse brazenly perched on a basement stair, looking at her.  When I heard that outcry, I knew I couldn't avoid it: I had to set mousetraps to kill the little guy.  Except for insects and rats, I hate killing animals, including house and field mice and chipmunks.  I know it's necessary for health and property protection reasons, or to protect the plants in Geri's garden that she works so diligently to nurture; I just hate to do it.  




To a Mouse

By Robert Burns

On Turning her up in her Nest, with the Plough, November 1785.

Wee, sleeket, cowran, tim’rous beastie,

O, what a panic’s in thy breastie!

Thou need na start awa sae hasty,

          Wi’ bickerin brattle!

I wad be laith to rin an’ chase thee

          Wi’ murd’ring pattle!


I’m truly sorry Man’s dominion

Has broken Nature’s social union,

An’ justifies that ill opinion,

          Which makes thee startle,

At me, thy poor, earth-born companion,

          An’ fellow-mortal!


I doubt na, whyles, but thou may thieve;

What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!

A daimen-icker in a thrave

          ’S a sma’ request:

I’ll get a blessin wi’ the lave,

          An’ never miss ’t!


Thy wee-bit housie, too, in ruin!

It’s silly wa’s the win’s are strewin!

An’ naething, now, to big a new ane,

          O’ foggage green!

An’ bleak December’s winds ensuin,

          Baith snell an’ keen!


Thou saw the fields laid bare an’ waste,

An’ weary Winter comin fast,

An’ cozie here, beneath the blast,

          Thou thought to dwell,

Till crash! the cruel coulter past

          Out thro’ thy cell.


That wee-bit heap o’ leaves an’ stibble

Has cost thee monie a weary nibble!

Now thou’s turn’d out, for a’ thy trouble,

          But house or hald,

To thole the Winter’s sleety dribble,

          An’ cranreuch cauld!


But Mousie, thou art no thy-lane,

In proving foresight may be vain:

The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men

          Gang aft agley,

An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,

          For promis’d joy!


Still, thou art blest, compar’d wi’ me!

The present only toucheth thee:

But Och! I backward cast my e’e,

          On prospects drear!

An’ forward tho’ I canna see,

          I guess an’ fear!


Sixty years ago today, I boarded a C-130 Hercules cargo aircraft to fly from the Marine Corps Air Station at Iwakuni, Japan, outside Hiroshima, to the huge Marine and Air Force base at Danang in the then Republic of Vietnam.  I was 23 years old. 2 years out of college, 60 years younger and 60 pounds lighter than I am now.  I had just started my third full year of active duty as a Marine, and most of it would be spent in Vietnam, with some of it in cushier billets in Iwakuni and on Okinawa, then still legally an American-occupied territory following World War II.  My fourth and last year of active duty would be spent at a Naval Air Station north of Philadelphia, where, among my duties, would be notifying the next of kin of other Marines who would be wounded or killed in Vietnam after I left the country.

Today I am thinking back to July 9, 1965, to who I was then and to what I was thinking during the long, lumbering flight over the East and South China Seas.  I remember hours sitting on the passenger straps along the fuselage of the aircraft, staring at the tons of military equipment and supplies loaded into its belly, the principal reason for the flight; I was just a hitchhiker.  I don't remember much of what I thought that day, other than having a sense of the Great Unknown.  What was Vietnam like?  What were the security conditions at the big airbase?  What would my new duties be at the Air Wing's headquarters, where I was headed?  How would I perform in a war zone after years of training in peace?  Why exactly were LBJ and the Pentagon sending tens of thousands of Marines and soldiers to this exotic country?  How long would this Vietnam thing go on, and how would it end?   I knew that a "communist insurgency" had been going on for many years, but I don't recall thinking of it as a civil war in which we were intervening for one side against the other.  For us, the government in Saigon and its army were the good guys, and the commies were the bad guys, though we didn't understand much, if anything, of the country's long history of colonization, foreign exploitation, and oppression that the communists fought. 

What I am remembering mostly today is the opinion shared by many of us by the end of the year that 'this is not going to end well.'  We had no confidence in the Saigon military government and no confidence in the ability of its army to outlast the other side.  Of course, as it turned out, our pessimism was spot on, though it took many years, many lives, and immeasurable suffering, mostly by the Vietnamese but also by our guys, to see what was clear to many early on. (We now know that among those 'many' were LBJ himself and Robert McNamara.)


After 8 months in-country, I left Vietnam for a remote infantry staging and training base on northern Okinawa.  My air control unit managed the base, since there was little air to control with all combat squadrons deployed in Vietnam.  We watched the young Marine infantrymen engage in their last training exercises before deploying to Vietnam.  We watched as they got drunk and got into fights in the local "ville" the last night before deployment.  We knew that some of them would be killed, some wounded, and none would escape unchanged.  I feel sadder today thinking back on those few months on Okinawa with those young "grunts," than thinking back on my time 'in-country.'  I feel sadder still remembering my return from Okinawa and Vietnam to the U.S., where Americans were at each other's throats over the war while I hoped beyond hope every six days not to receive a next-of-kin casualty call.

I think these thoughts today, on this personal anniversary, as I think of where we have come over the last 60 years.  When I flew off to Vietnam, our government told me (and you) that I was on a mission to protect a brave young democracy from a Godless dictatorship operating out of Hanoi, but with the strings pulled in China and Russia.  That wasn't true, or at least not entirely true, but it served the purposes of the government to say it was true.  We weren't there to protect the corrupt government in Saigon (never a democracy), but only to fight a perceived Chinese and Russian proxy in Hanoi, to protect our markets and sources of raw materials in SE Asia, and the international sea lanes in the South China Sea.  Most Americans believed most of what the government told us, at least until it became clear that we were being duped. 

 Today, the struggle for democracy is occurring within our own borders, and to my old eyes, it looks like a battle we are losing.  Vietnam happened on the way to today, as did Iraq and Afghanistan.    In all our military adventures and misadventures, we claimed to be fighting for democracy, freedom, and to protect America's core values.  Looking back over these past 60 years, since I stepped onto that C-130 in Iwakuni and stepped off in Vietnam, and looking at where we are today, I wonder what I am to think of democracy, freedom, and core American values.














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Wednesday, July 8, 2026

7/8/2026

 Wednesday, July 8, 2026

1741 Theologian Jonathan Edwards preached perhaps the most famous of all American sermons, "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God," at Enfield, Connecticut, part of the Great Awakening

1969 US troop withdrawal began in Vietnam

2021  President Joe Biden said US troops would withdraw from Afghanistan by August 31, despite increased Taliban gains across the country

2025 The International Criminal Court issued arrest warrants against Taliban leaders over alleged persecution of girls, women, and the LGBTQ+ community

In bed at 10:15, up qt 5:45; 0555 201.4  132.78/62 118; 68/86/66, sunny

Morning meds at 7:25 a.m., and Eliquis at 6:50 a.m. and 6:50 p.m.  I skipped my evening dose of Eliquis again last night.  My alarm must not have sounded.  

Is the Vance/Trump 60-day ceasefire "deal" between the US and Iran over?  We're shooting at each other again, trying to kill each other's soldiers and destroy each other's stuff.  Trump says, "To me, I think it's over."  Was there anyone in the world, other than J. D. Vance, who ever thought that the signed "deal" was really a "deal"?

My Facebook post this morning:

I often grieve that I have become so cynical and pessimistic in my old age.  Then I remember stuff like this:

Opioid of the Masses  

J. D. Vance

July 4, 2016, The Atlantic magazine

A few Saturdays ago, my wife and I spent the morning volunteering at a community garden in our San Francisco neighborhood. After a few hours of casual labor, we and the other volunteers dispersed to our respective destinations: tasty brunches, day trips to wine country, art-gallery tours. It was a perfectly normal day, by San Francisco standards.

That very same Saturday, in the small Ohio town where I grew up, four people overdosed on heroin. A local police lieutenant coolly summarized the banality of it all: “It’s not all that unusual for a 24-hour period here.” He was right: in Middletown, Ohio, that too is a perfectly normal day.

Folks back home speak of heroin like an apocalyptic invader, something that assailed the town mysteriously and without warning. Yet the truth is that heroin crept slowly into Middletown’s families and communities—not by invasion but by invitation.

Very few Americans are strangers to addiction. Shortly before I graduated from law school, I learned that my own mother lay comatose in a hospital, the consequence of an apparent heroin overdose. Yet heroin was only her latest drug of choice. Prescription opioids—“hillbilly heroin” some call it, to highlight its special appeal among white working-class folks like us—had already landed Mom in the hospital and cost our family dearly in the decade before her first taste of actual heroin. And before her own father gave up the bottle in middle age, he was a notoriously violent drunk. In our community, there has long been a large appetite to dull the pain; heroin is just the newest vehicle.

Of course, the pain itself has increased in recent years, and it comes from many places. Some of it is economic, as the factories that provided many U.S. towns and cities material security have downsized or altogether ceased to exist. Some of it is aesthetic, as the storefronts that once made American towns beautiful and vibrant gave way to cash-for-gold stores and payday lenders. Some of it is domestic, as rising divorce rates reveal home lives as dependable as steel-mill jobs. Some of it is political, as Americans watch from afar while a government machine that rarely tries to speak to them, and acts in their interests even less, sputters along. And some of it is cultural, from the legitimate humiliation of losing wars fought by the nation’s children to the illegitimate sense that some fall behind only because others jump ahead.

During this election season, it appears that many Americans have reached for a new pain reliever. It too, promises a quick escape from life’s cares, an easy solution to the mounting social problems of U.S. communities and culture. It demands nothing and requires little more than a modest presence and maybe a few enablers. It enters minds, not through lungs or veins, but through eyes and ears, and its name is Donald Trump.

Last Sunday, the day before Memorial Day, I met a Marine veteran of the Vietnam War at a local coffee shop. “I was lucky,” he told me. “At least I came home. A lot of my buddies didn’t. The thing is, the media still talks about us like we lost that war! I like to think my dead friends accomplished something.” Imagine, for that man, the vengeful joy of a Trump rally. That brief feeling of power, of defiance, of sending a message to the very political and media establishment that, for 45 years, has refused to listen. Trump brings power to those who hate their lack of it, and his message is tonic to communities that have felt nothing but decline for decades.

In some ways, Trump’s large, national coalition defies easy characterization. He draws from a broad base of good people: kind folks who open their homes and hearts to people of all colors and creeds, married couples with happy homes and families who live nearby, public servants who put their lives on the line to fight fires in their communities. Not all Trump voters spend their days searching for an analgesic.

Yet a common thread among Trump’s faithful, even among those whose individual circumstances remain unspoiled, is that they hail from broken communities. These are places where good jobs are impossible to come by. Where people have lost their faith and abandoned the churches of their parents and grandparents. Where the death rates of poor white people go up even as the death rates of all other groups go down. Where too many young people spend their days stoned instead of working and learning.

Many years ago, our neighbor (and my grandma’s old friend) in Middletown moved out and rented his house on a Section 8 voucher—a federal program that offers housing subsidies to low-income people. One of the first folks to move in called her landlord to report a leaky roof. By the time the landlord arrived, he discovered the woman naked on her couch. After calling him, she had started the water for a bath, gotten high, and passed out. Forget about the original leak, now much of the upstairs—including her and her children’s possessions—was completely destroyed. Not every Trump voter lives like this woman, but nearly every Trump voter knows someone who does.

Though the details differ, men and women like my neighbor represent, in the aggregate, a social crisis of historic proportions. There is no group of people hurtling more quickly to social decay. No group of people fears the future more, dies with such frequency from heroin, and exposes its children to such significant domestic chaos. Not long ago, a teacher who works with at-risk youth in my hometown told me, “We’re expected to be shepherds to these children, but they’re all raised by wolves.” And those wolves are here—not coming in from Mexico, not prowling the halls of power in Washington or Wall Street—but here in ordinary American communities and families and homes.

What Trump offers is an easy escape from the pain. To every complex problem, he promises a simple solution. He can bring jobs back simply by punishing offshoring companies into submission. As he told a New Hampshire crowd—folks all too familiar with the opioid scourge—he can cure the addiction epidemic by building a Mexican wall and keeping the cartels out. He will spare the United States from humiliation and military defeat with indiscriminate bombing. It doesn’t matter that no credible military leader has endorsed his plan. He never offers details for how these plans will work, because he can’t. Trump’s promises are the needle in America’s collective vein.

The great tragedy is that many of the problems Trump identifies are real, and so many of the hurts he exploits demand serious thought and measured action—from governments, yes, but also from community leaders and individuals. Yet so long as people rely on that quick high, so long as wolves point their fingers at everyone but themselves, the nation delays a necessary reckoning. There is no self-reflection in the midst of a false euphoria. Trump is cultural heroin. He makes some feel better for a bit. But he cannot fix what ails them, and one day they’ll realize it.

I’m not sure when or how that realization arrives: maybe in a few months, when Trump loses the election; maybe in a few years, when his supporters realize that even with a President Trump, their homes and families are still domestic war zones, their newspapers’ obituaries continue to fill with the names of people who died too soon, and their faith in the American Dream continues to falter. But it will come, and when it does, I hope Americans cast their gaze to those with the most power to address so many of these problems: each other. And then, perhaps the nation will trade the quick high of “Make America Great Again” for real medicine.


Rahm Emanuel speaks truth to power in Tel Aviv.
  From this morning's NYTimes:

Unconditional U.S. support of Israel should end . . . 

Above all, he says, Israel will need to allow again for the possibility of Palestinian sovereignty and give up on dreams of annexing all of the West Bank.

A New York Times/Siena poll this spring found that 60 percent of Democratic supporters said they were more sympathetic to Palestinians than Israelis; only 15 percent were more supportive of Israel.

Like a growing number of Democrats — and like Mr. Netanyahu himself, of late — Mr. Emanuel calls for an end to U.S. military aid to Israel, saying bluntly that Israel is wealthy enough to buy weapons like any other ally. He says that he would use sanctions, much as former President Joseph R. Biden Jr. did, to fight both construction of illegal settlements and violence against Palestinians in the West Bank.

Whether Israelis will heed him is uncertain, but Mr. Emanuel brings considerable credibility as a longstanding supporter of the country. His father was born in Jerusalem and fought in Israel’s war for independence. He was an adviser to Mr. Clinton during the signing of the Oslo accords in 1993 and, informally, during the Camp David peace talks in 2000. 

 “Your government is complicit in the horrors now being inflicted on innocent families in the West Bank,” he says. “That undermines your international legitimacy at a time when you can least afford it.”

Adding that “we’ve done you no favors by averting our eyes from your misjudgments,” Mr. Emanuel says that he would impose sanctions on Israeli individuals who attack Palestinians or their property, and on Israeli officials who support such violence. Perhaps more significantly, he would impose them on construction companies or banks involved in illegal settlement construction.

He partly blames U.S. policymakers over the years who believed “that the best thing Washington could do for Jerusalem was to blindly and silently stand behind your government.”

That, he says, produced a prime minister who could count on paying little price “if he ignored America’s concerns about settlements and sparked a regional war.” It allowed Israel to deny food and medical relief to suffering Gazans, “leaving the world to conclude that Israelis not only want to kill” them but are “indifferent to their death, destruction and suffering.” And it emboldened a governing coalition that learned that it could burn West Bank farmland and “terrorize Palestinian families without consequence.”

I have long believed that the people of Israel headed took a tragic wrong turn in 1977 with the landslide victory of the Likud Party, founded by Menachem Begin and Ariel Sharon.  That was when the people of Israel, at least the majority of them, turned away from their Labor Party, socialist, kibbutznik roots and toward hardline right-wing government, completing the evolution when Yitzhak Rabin was assassinated in 1995, to be eventually succeeded by Benjamin Netanyahu.  I suspect that for many Israelis, and many non-Israeli Jews, the State of Israel has become a Baal, a false god.  I think, though I'm not sure of my memory on this, that Yeshayahu Leibowitz warned against this in at least one of his prescient writings.  He also wisely warned against the long-term occupation and annexation of the territories conquered in the Six-Day War.  How right he was.


Tom Lake by Ann Patchett.  I started this novel yesterday and am halfway through it this afternoon. It's a story within a story, narrated in the first person by Lara Nelson, in her late 50s, to her three daughters, all in their 20s.  The interior story recounts Lara's youthful romance with the famous actor Peter Duke.  The principal characters in this first half of the novel are all likeable and engaging, but until very recently, I was wondering what Patchett's point was in writing the novel because it had no real point of tension, stress, or conflict. The plot is thickening considerably at the novel's midpoint with the revelation that Peter Duke had some serious mental or emotional problems, and the revelation that Emily, Lara's oldest daughter, who is about to marry, refuses to bear any children.  Most of the dialogue between Lara and her daughters occurs on the family's cherry farm in northern Michigan while they are all engaged in harvesting sweet cherries.  It all occurs during the COVID-19 pandemic.  I expect the second half of the story to be more engaging than the first half.