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Saturday, March 14, 2026

3/14/2026

 Saturday, March 14, 2026

2019 US Senate passed its resolution overturning President Donald Trump's national emergency declaration

2025  Secretary of State Marco Rubio declared South African Ambassador Ebrahim Rasool persona non grata for criticizing Donald Trump's 2024 presidential campaign.

In bed at 10:10, up at 5:10.  26/37/26.  WINTER STORM WATCH for tomorrow.😨  131/61/30  115  205.7

Morning meds at 8:10 a.m.      

Throne room reading is Bruce Springsteen's autobiography, Born to Run, which I am thoroughly enjoying.   I was hooked on it, at least for now, by the initial chapters, titled "My Street," "My House," "The Church," and "My Mother."  It reminded me of course of my own memoir which I wrote about 10 years before Springsteen wrote his:  "Some Lineage," "My Family's First Home," "My Mother,""Raised in the Bosom of the Church," etc.  His mother was 100% Italian, a  Zirilli, as were his most important relatives and he concludes his chapter on "The Italians" with a reference to "We, the Italians," showing his intimate relationship with that side of his heritage, notwithstanding his Dutch surname derived from his paternal great grandfather.


I will write more about this book later.  I wore myself out at the MetroMarket this afternoon and my back is killing me.😱😩😪😡

Friday, March 13, 2026

3/13/2026

 Friday, March 13, 2026

1954, Viet Minh General Giáp opened the assault on French forces at Dien Bien Phu

2005 Terry Ratzmann shot and killed seven members of the Living Church of God, including the minister, at Sheraton Inn in Brookfield, Wisconsin, before killing himself

2012 Encyclopaedia Britannica announced that it would no longer publish printed versions of its encyclopaedia

2025  The UN Human Rights Council accused Israel of committing genocidal acts and other war crimes against Palestinians in Gaza, including committing gender-based violence and sexual assault against prisoners and the systematic destruction of healthcare systems in the region.  Benjamin Netanyahu dismissed the reports and accusations, calling them biased and "antisemitic"

2025  During a meeting at the White House with Secretary General of NATO Mark Rutte,  President Donald Trump refuses to rule out the U.S. annexation of Greenland when questioned.

2025  The Trump administration reportedly ordered the U.S. military to plan options to expand the presence of American troops in Panama and potentially try to reclaim the Panama Canal.

In bed at 9:30, up at 7.  36/15/40/30  Severe weather warning: High winds. 25-35, gusts to 60 mph.  Winter Storm Watch, heavy snow & blowing snow, Saturday and Sunday, blizzard conditions.     130/78/57  114  205.6

Morning meds at 10 a.m.  Trulicity at 3:30 p..m.






























Gale-force winds (<60 mph) today took down our corner Spruce tree. 
It blocked the corner of Country Line Road and Wakefield Court until the Bayside DPW sent over a frontend bulldozer, severed the lower trunk from the rest of the tree, and moved everything off the street and back onto our lot, where we'll make arrangements for its disposal.


Some anniversary thoughts (from a year ago):

First, I was 12 years old when the epic battle of Dien Bein Phu started.  It ended almost 2 months later with an ignominious defeat of the French forces and the beginning of the end of France's overseas empire.  Algeria would follow.  It all seemed so foreign, remote, and exotic to me.  11 years later, I would step off a C-130 onto Vietnamese soil at Chu Lai, 23 years old and without any clear understanding of what was going on in Vietnam and why my sorry boots were on its ground.  Ten years later, Marine H-34 helicopters were ferrying desperate, frantic, fleeing Vietnamese from rooftops in Saigon to American ships offshore.  Our Dien Bien Phu took not two months but about 10 years, in the course of which millions of lives were lost, badly impaired, or otherwise badly affected.  Shame on us; shame of the U.S. 

Second, Encyclopaedia Britannica's decision 13 years ago to stop publishing its print edition makes me wonder about the future of printed books, indeed of print media generally.  The profound impact of social media on our lives in just the last 25 years (Friendster, LinkedIn, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter) makes me wonder whether modern homo sapiens is undergoing a rapid evolutionary adjustment because of which even Wikipedia will become passe.  What will human communication be like in the next 25 years?  What will learning be like?  The world and Western Culture, or what remains of either, will be unrecognizable.  Sarah and Andy will be about at the age I am now, perhaps wondering the kinds of things that I wonder now.  Will the world have experienced and survived one or more nuclear wars by then?  What will be the effects of climate change?  Will it be a 1984 world?  A Brave New World?  A world run by 1s and 0s, algorithms, and AI?  Is there more reason to be hopeful of the coming world or despairing?

Nostalgically, the Britannica anniversary makes me remember the hours I spent lying on the floor at 7303 S. Emerald Avenue in Chicago, reading our family encyclopedia, the multi-volume Grolier's The Book of Knowledge.  My Dad, with his PTSD, always demanded of my sister and me "a little peace and quiet."  I sought quiet refuge in the thousands of essays in The Book of Knowledge, which also introduced me to the wide world outside our tiny, roachy, 3 rooms in the basement at 7303 S. Emerald Avenue.    


Happy Horseshit, Trump-style.  From last night's late night talk shows:

“The Trump administration Republicans say the Iran war is both a short excursion and a longer war, and it’s pretty much complete and it’s also just beginning and high oil prices are a sacrifice we have to make, but also oil prices are coming down. And also high oil prices are actually a good thing, and we already won but we might have to stay for four days or five weeks, or six months, jump in the Strait of Hormuz for oil tankers because if it stays closed, oil prices that are coming down will go up and we’ll lose the war we’ve already won. Sure makes sense to me.” — SETH MEYERS

“The Trump administration has been clear from the beginning that the goal of the war is stopping Iran from obtaining a nuclear weapon — or it's about regime change, or it’s about freedom for the Iranian people, or it’s about destroying their ballistic missile factories, or it’s because Iran posed an imminent threat, or it’s because Israel made us do it, or it’s because this whole time Lindsey Graham has been a trickster god sent here to sow chaos by convincing Trump to go to war.” — SETH MEYERS

Here's what I wrote of the "Happy Horseshit" in my memoir:

Throughout the time I was in Vietnam, and for the years of occupation and fighting thereafter, our government promulgated what we, even in late 1965, called ‘happy horseshit.’  One of the memorable lines in Apocalypse Now is “The bullshit piled up so fast in Vietnam you needed wings to rise above it.”  The Pentagon Papers, the government documents that the Nixon Administration tried to keep secret, collected much of the ‘happy horseshit.’     On August 9, 1965, three CBS correspondents interviewed Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara and Secretary of State Dean Rusk about Vietnam.  Harry Reasoner asked why American national interests were linked to South Vietnam.  McNamara said: 

First, let me make it clear, Mr. Reasoner, that this is not primarily a military problem.  Above all else, I want to emphasize that.  It is a battle for the hearts and minds of the people of South Vietnam . . .

Secretary Rusk’s reference to President Johnson’s invocation of ‘national honor’ drew this question:

But, sir, don’t you have to reckon honor at its cost?  I mean, it is not an abstract thing.  It has to be valued and weighed according to what it costs you.  And what about dishonor?  What about the world image that we now present?  We are burning villages, we are killing civilians.  Now, don’t you weigh one against the other?

Rusk answered:

Well, let me say that you also weigh the costs of dishonor, that is, the failure of an American commitment.  And I would hope that our own American news media would go to some effort to present a balanced picture of what is going on in South Vietnam: the thousands of local officials who have been kidnapped, the tens of thousands of South Vietnamese civilians who have been killed or wounded by North Vietnamese mortars and by the constant depredations of these acts of violence against the civilian population.

Nice answer.  Yeah, we’re killing thousands of Vietnamese civilians, but so are the VC and NVA, so it’s all OK.  We’re fighting on behalf of capitalism and freedom in the form of a puppet government in Saigon.  The other guys are Commies.  What more need be said?

It is a sad and hard experience to think back on those days in Vietnam and to re-read the ‘happy horseshit’ of the politicos.  I remember quite clearly talking with other Marines about the futility of the war, sharing the judgment or intuition that no ultimate good was going to come from all the death and destruction.  I talked about it in the middle of the night with my friend Bob Hilleary during those endless night watches in ‘the Bubble’ stinking of Spam.  My tentmates and I groused about it while holed up under canvas during the endless monsoon rains.  We talked about it over alcohol and blackjack hands at the officers’ club.  Regarding the “happy horseshit” in the news reports on Armed Forces Radio and in Stars and Stripes and in hometown newspapers that were mailed to DaNang, I remember with surprising vividness my good friend, from Yuma and Iwakuni and DaNang, Warrant Officer Ron Kendall frequently quoting his high school football coach in Iowa who used to tell his team: “You can fool the spectators but you can’t fool the players.”  The players, at least in my unit, didn’t believe the happy horseshit from Saigon and Washington, just as I haven’t believed the happy horseshit from Baghdad and Washington 40 years later.  A nation does not ‘win the hearts and minds’ of another people by dispatching an invading army of highly trained professional killers to its shores, airfields, or landing zones.  A nation cannot successfully use as ambassadors of good will Marines and soldiers who are always at least a lethal threat to kill locals and often an organized homicidal force.  We do not ‘save villages’ by ‘destroying them,’ whether the village is a hamlet in the Mekong Delta or the city of Fallujah on the Euphrates.  We do not preserve national honor by becoming an international pariah.  My heart aches when I think of the price the Clausen family and millions of other families have paid in foreign wars only to lead to the nation’s policies of invasion, occupation, torture, kidnappings, detentions without legal process, and claims of almost boundless executive authority by Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice and Gonzales.  Did we learn nothing from Vietnam?   Is there no limit to the amount of happy horseshit gullible Americans will willingly eat?

When I arrived in Vietnam in July, 1965, the conflict there was not yet a full-fledged American war.  The mission of American combat forces was limited and essentially defensive.  It all changed two weeks after my arrival when President Johnson made the decision to grant General Westmoreland’s request for a massive infusion of American forces in 1965 and more in 1966.   He granted the request for the very reasons that should have caused him to deny it - because he knew that the South Vietnamese government was incapable of effectively governing the country and the South Vietnamese military was incapable of defending it.  That decision on that date for those reasons turned the war into an American war.  The whole world knew of the fecklessness and corruption of the Vietnamese government in Saigon and of the powerlessness of the South Vietnamese military and of the determination of the VC/NVA forces and we Marines knew it too.  In Robert McNamara’s In Retrospect, he acknowledges the mistake of not pulling out of Vietnam early.  He wrote:

By [the early or mid 1960s] it should have become apparent that the two conditions underlying President Kennedy’s decision to send military advisors to South Vietnam were not being met and, indeed, could not be met: political stability did not exist and was unlikely ever to be achieved; and the South Vietnamese, even with our training assistance and logistical support, were incapable of defending themselves.

Given these facts – and they are facts – I believe we could and should have withdrawn from South Vietnam either in late 1963 amid the turmoil following Điem’s assassination or in late 1964 or early 1965 in the face of increasing political and military weakness in South Vietnam.  And, as the table opposite suggests, there were at least three other occasions when withdrawal could have been justified.

Date of Withdrawal US Forces US Killed Basis for Withdrawal

Nov. 1963 16,300 advisors 78 Collapse of  Điem regime and political instability

Late 1964 or

Early 1965 23,300

advisors 225 Clear indication of SVN’s inability to defend itself, even with US training and logistical support

July, 1965 81,400 troops 509 Further evidence of the above

December, 1965 184,300 troops 1,594 Evidence the US military tactics and training were inappropriate for guerrilla war being waged.

December, 1967 485,600 troops 15,979 CIA reports indicating bombing in the North would not force North Vietnam to desist is the face of our inability to turn back enemy forces in South Vietnam.

January, 1973 543,400 troops (April, 1969) 58,191 Signing of Paris Accords, marking end of US military involvement

All of my college roommates, except Joe Daley, would end up serving in Vietnam.  Tom Devitt served as Executive Officer, one step below the commanding officer, of a Marine artillery battery.  The man he replaced had been ‘fragged’, killed by his own men with a fragmentation grenade thrown into his tent.  Gerry Nugent served as a Marine infantry officer.  Ed Felsenthal and Bill Hendricks served aboard ships on the South China Sea, pulling into the port of Da Nang frequently.  None of us was in contact with any of the others during our time ‘in country.’  One of our friends from the NROTC unit at Marquette, Jay Tremblay, was shot down and lost piloting his aircraft over North Vietnam.  Another good friend, John Boyan, flew H34 helicopters for 13 months in Marine operations.  Pat Townsend, Dick Coffman, Brian Fagin, all good friends from Marquette, all served as Marines in Vietnam and made it home in one piece.

On February 28, 1966, I hitched a ride to the Air Force side of the airbase with orders to Marine Air Control Squadron-6 at Camp Schwab on the northern end of Okinawa.  Those of us at the TAC Center were more than ready to return to Japan or Okinawa and there were Marines in those locations who were eager to get to Vietnam, to get their combat zone experience and campaign ribbons.  I was happy to be getting out.  Instead of a C-130 Hercules, I was on a sleek, silver Air Force troop mover, a KC-135, the Air Force version of a Boeing 707 but with no first class or business class compartments and no windows.  After a long wait in a waiting area, we boarded and waited to take off.  I thought about what a nice rocket or mortar target the plane made – big, shiny, and stationary.  It wasn’t moving.  After a long wait, we were told a fire warning light was on and had to be checked out.  We were kept on the aircraft for a long time – sweating and thirsty and thinking still of what a fine target the aircraft made – while the technicians tried to figure out why the light remained on.  I thought, “Wouldn’t it be a hell of a note to ‘buy the farm’ sitting in an Air Force plane on the Air Force runway waiting to get out of DaNang?”  I remembered wondering whether I was going to ‘buy the farm’ when I had landed 8 months previously at Chu Lai.  Eventually, we were taken off the aircraft until the problem was identified and fixed.  We piled back into the aircraft, tired, pissed off and wanting to get the hell out of Vietnam.  We flew to Kadena Air Base on Okinawa and I got transportation of some sort to Camp Schwab, my next duty station.

I left Vietnam wondering “what was that all about?”  “What’s going to come of all this?”  I would have preferred to be going to Japan rather than Okinawa, but I was happy just to be getting out of the Alice in Wonderland, Catch-22 world of Vietnam.  I was 24 years, 6 months and 4 days old when I departed Vietnam; my father had been 24 years, 6 months, and 8 days old when he departed Iwo Jima.   I aged more than 8 months during my 8 months in Vietnam, but not nearly as much as my father aged during his one month on Iwo Jima.  Semper Fi.


 

Thursday, March 12, 2026

3/12/2026

 Thursday, March 12, 2026

1947  President Harry Truman introduced the Truman Doctrine to fight communism

2018 British Prime Minister Theresa May said Russia was "highly likely" to have poisoned a Russian spy and his daughter on March 4 with a nerve agent

2022: Saudi Arabia executed 81 convicted criminals, the country's largest known mass execution in modern times 

2025  Canadian finance minister announced retaliatory tariffs on US$20.7 billion of goods from the United States after Donald Trump announced additional tariffs on Canadian metals. 

2025  Iranian supreme leader Ali Khamenei rejected negotiations with the U.S. regarding Iran's nuclear program, stating that Iran is "not interested in nuclear weapons."

2025  The Houthis in Yemen announced it would  resume targeting Israeli ships because its deadline for Israel to resume aid deliveries to the Gaza Strip had passed

In bed at 9 after experiencing my second light-headedness of the day, almost falling on way back to a pit stop. Moved to LZB at 2:15, and maybe half-slept till 4, with many thoughts of John McGregor, light-headedness at the VA yesterday on walk to the throat radiology room with the therapist. 30/19/41/30   125/52/30  109  206.6

Morning meds at 6:45 a.m.     

The world we live in:

Trump's Truth (sic) Social post on 3/5/2026:

“There will be no deal with Iran except UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER!  After that, and the selection of a GREAT & ACCEPTABLE Leader(s), we, and many of our wonderful and very brave allies and partners, will work tirelessly to bring Iran back from the brink of destruction, making it economically bigger, better, and stronger than ever before,

Trump's Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, on the meaning of "unconditional surrender", on 3/6/2026:

 What the President means is that when he, as commander-in-chief of the US armed forces determines that Iran no longer poses a threat to the United States of America and that the goals of Operation Epic Fury have been fully realized,  then Iran will essentially be in a place of unconditional surrender, whether they say it or not.

Humpty Dumpty chatting with Alice in Wonderland:

           ‘When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean–neither more nor less.’

           ‘The question is,’ said Alice, ‘whether you can make words mean different things–that’s all.’

           ‘The question is,’ said Humpty Dumpty, ‘which is to be master–that’s all’

Wondering whether I should be getting myself a "short-timer's chain." I've had three unusual medical occurrences lately: the two instances of lightheadedness/dizziness yesterday and the strange, out-of-nowhere severe nausea and lightheadedness/dizziness the other morning (Friday, March 6th).  Something strange seems to be going on in my brain and CNS.  This morning, I am experiencing more lightheadedness & wooziness.  Not good.  It raises a real concern not only about falls in the house (especially when Geri is not at home), but also about driving.   It's not the fear of falling that would be a concern, but rather an unexpected woozy lightheadedness, especially on the freeway and at speed.  It happened to me once many years ago, driving to Florida to visit my Dad.  I was on Interstate 65 north of Chattanooga, surrounded by big semis, when I had an attack of vertigo and feared losing control of my car.  I handled the scare somehow and told Dr. Baugrud about it later, with her recommending that I use Claritin pills on the road.  Maybe I should use some now.

I finished This is Happiness today.  It's a lovely long story of life and love, of growing up, growing old, getting sick and of dying, of solitude, family, and of community, of the place of music and storytelling in life, of permanence and transience, of unacknowledged Buddhism and ubiquitous Irish Catholicism, of love, lust, and loss, of the desire of a virtuous but sinful human heart for forgiveness.  It's about "progress" and its costs.  And, as the title suggests, it's about what happiness is.  Can the author, Niall Williams, satisfactorily treat all those heavy subjects in a book of only 380 pages?  I think he succeeded.   My heart was touched by the story, especially about the narrator's tale of the illness and loss of his mother, and about the reconnection of Christy McMahon and Annie Mooney.  Having already completed the book on Kindle and Audible, I'll pick up a printed copy at the library today and go over some of the chapters I want to restudy.  The narrator and protagonist in the novel Noah Crowe,  is 78 years old as he tells his story of the town and people among whom he lived in the little village of Naha in western County Clare.  The story he tells occurred sixty years beforehand, when he was a lad of 17, living with his grandparents and sharing his bedroom and a big part of his life with their temporary boarder, Christy McMahon.  Thus, the whole endeavor of the book reminds me of myself writing my memoir about my early years when I was in my 60s and writing my journal/blog in my 80s, with so much of the writing focused on childhood, youth, and early adulthood.  Niall Williams' writing is fiction and mine is non-fiction, but it's clear he does a much better job of re-creating his hero's young life than I've ever been able to re-create my own.

From Chapter 32 of the novel:

When I did think of it,, I was suprised that Christy that Christy was not more downtrodden by the impasse with Annie, and one evening approaching the village of Kilmihi, where Michael the Archangel himself had stopped, and where every man we met was called some version of Michael, I asked him why.  He explained himself in a single sentence, 'Noe,' he said, and took a theatrical breath, 'this, is happiness.' 

I gave him back the look you give those a few shillings short of a pound.

"I know,' he said.  'Whenever I said that, it used to drive my wfie mad."      

"\You were married?"

"I was.  She left me for a better man.  God bless her." he said.

It was a condensed explanation, but I came to understand him to mean you could stop at, not all, but most of the moments of your life, stop for one heartbeat and, no matter what the state of your head or heart, say This is happiness, because of the simple truth that you were alive to say it.

I think of that often.  We can all pause right here, raise our heads, take a breath, and accept that This is happiness, and the bulky, blue figure of Christy cycling across the next life would be waving a big slow hand in the air at all of us coming along behind him.

 

 

 

      

     

     

Geri is at her friend Barbara's house, helping her learn how to do cable stitching for an afghan she is making.  She leads a full, enriching life, which she well deserves.

Wednesday, March 11, 2026

3/11/2026

Wednesday, March 11, 2026

1963  Defense Secretary Robert MacNamara ordered the adoption by the US military of the M16 assault rifle, originally designed as the AR-15 by Eugene Stoner

2020 COVID-19 was declared a pandemic by the World Health Organization after 121,564 cases worldwide and 4,373 deaths

2025  U.S. President Donald Trump announced he would raise tariffs on Canadian steel and aluminium imports from 25% to 50%.   Ontario Premier Doug Ford suspendsed the planned surcharges on electricity in the US.  Trump backed off afterwards, though his original plan to impose 25% tariffs will go as planned.   Trump's trade counselor Peter Navarro saed that 50% tariffs on Canadian steel and aluminum won't take effect on Wednesday.

In bed at 10, awake at 4, weigh-in at 5.  33/19/36/30.  Snow later & wind   118/65/57  101  207.2 

Morning meds at  a.m.    

Deliver Me From Nowhere is the 2025 biographical film about Bruce Springsteen, starring the remarkable Jeremy Allen White, and directed by Scott Cooper.  It focuses on a dark period in Springsteen's life when he suffered from depression, and he struggled to write, perform, and then to get his album Nebraska produced.  An underlying theme throughout the film was his difficult relationship with his father, who was also a sufferer from depression and alcoholism, as well as being abusive and neglectful throughout Springsteen's childhood.  The movie's depiction of his relationship(s) with his father and his mother reminded me, of course, of my relationships with my own parents, most painfully the scene in which his mother sent young Bruce into a local ginmill to try to get his father to come home.  The scene reminded me of a time when I was home alone and received a telephone call from my Dad's workplace, saying he hadn't shown up for work.  I went out looking for him in our local ginmills and in the cars parked nearby, to see if he might be sleeping in one of them.  It reminded me of taking a CTA bus with my mother to visit him in some medical facility where he was either (a) drying out, or (2) being treated for dangerously high blood pressure, or (3) more likely, both.  The scene in which Springsteen's father was threatening his mother in their kitchen and in which Springsteen hit him with a baseball bat reminded me of the only time I experienced by Dad being physically abusive to my mother in our kitchen at 7307 S. Emerald.  I had locked myself in our bathroom while they engaged in a loud argument, but came out when I could tell he was hurting her, yelling at him to 'cut it out', or 'let her go,' or some such, which he did.  These are painful memories, even a lifetime later, and my sister Kitty had her own, both of us emotionally scarred and dealing with our own cases of childhood or generationally-transmitted PTSD.  I was also emotionally touched by the film's depiction of Springsteen's relationship with his mother, especially the scenes of his mother singing, or the scene in which she danced with Bruce as a child.  It reminded me of my mother teaching me how to 'jitterbug' and do the 'two-step' in our dining room at 7307.  I needed to learn the basics before going to my first "sock hop" at St. Sabina's, our neighboring Catholic parish that provided the first opportunity for physical contact between the Catholic boys and girls whom the Catholic schools kept duly segregated in same-sex high schools.

    I don't know that I can say the movie is particularly good, but I certainly related to its family plot for the aforementioned reasons.  I also related to the struggle of both Springsteen and his father to establish a loving relationship later in life.  If the film version is to be believed, Springsteen was 32 years old when he reconciled with his father; in my case, I was 55 and my Dad 75.  The scene in the movie where the reconciliation occurred seemed pretty hokie to me, with the father making Bruce sit on his lap, but apparently it's based on a real life event.  The father admits to Bruce that he wasn't a very good father and Bruce tells him that he did the best he could, or words to that effect.  I recall it as Bruce telling his father that he was fighting his own battles during Bruce's childhood.  It reminded me of the message on the back of a T-shirt I saw at Sendik's one day: Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.  And it reminded me of the saying that the sins of the fathers are visited on the sons.

 “You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me” (Exodus 20:5).

“Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you. You show love to thousands but bring the punishment for the parents’ sins into the laps of their children after them. Great and mighty God, whose name is the Lord Almighty” (Jeremiah 32:17-18). 

How true that is.  "Dutch" Springsteen's depression was transferred to Bruce, and our father's depression was transferred to Kitty and me. Both happiness and unhappiness are contagious. 


MY FATHER'S HOUSE 

Album version


Last night I dreamed that I was a child
Out where the pines grow wild and tall
I was trying to make it home through the forest
Before the darkness falls

I heard the wind rustling through the trees
And ghostly voices rose from the fields
I ran with my heart pounding down that broken path
With the devil snapping at my heels

I broke through the trees and there in the night
My father's house stood shining hard and bright
The branches and brambles tore my clothes and scratched my arms
But I ran till I fell shaking in his arms

I awoke and I imagined the hard things that pulled us apart
Will never again, sir, tear us from each other's hearts
I got dressed and to that house I did ride
From out on the road I could see its windows shining in light

I walked up the steps and stood on the porch
A woman I didn't recognize came and spoke to me through a chained door
I told her my story and who I'd come for
She said "I'm sorry son but no one by that name lives here anymore"

My father's house shines hard and bright
It stands like a beacon calling me in the night
Calling and calling so cold and alone
Shining 'cross this dark highway where our sins lie unatoned

The drive to the VA today took me from 11th and Kilbourn to 33rd Street, where it dead-ended, and then up to State to 35th and down to National Avenue.  Again, I was delighted by the number of wonderful old mansions and other buildings in that old area of Milwaukee, including the incredible mansion around 31st (?) and Kilbourn.  What has happened to me that I get so blown away by the faded magnificence of these old buildings?  Is this like Rosemary Clooney's old classic "This Old House," analogizing old house to old human carcasses?


This ole house once knew his children
This ole house once knew his wife
This ole house was home and comfort
As they fought the storms of life
This old house once rang with laughter
This old house heard many shouts
Now he trembles in the darkness
When the lightnin' walks about

[Chorus]

Ain't a-gonna need this house no longer
Ain't a-gonna need this house no more
Ain't got time to fix the shingles
Ain't got time to fix the floor
Ain't got time to oil the hinges
Nor to mend the window-pane
Ain't a-gonna need this house no longer
He's a-gettin' ready to meet the saints

This ole house is a-gettin' shaky
This ole house is a-gettin' old
This ole house lets in the rain
This ole house lets in the cold
Oh his knees are-a gettin' chilly
But he feel no fear or pain
'Cause he sees an angel peekin'
Through a broken window-pane

[Chorus]

This ole house is afraid of thunder
This ole house is afraid of storms
This ole house just groans and trembles
When the night wind flings its arms
This ole house is a-gettin' feeble
This old house is a-needin' paint
Just like him it's tuckered out
But he's a-gettin' ready to meet the saints

The 1954 song was on the flip side of an even bigger hit for her, another song I really enjoy, Hey There, a great song about lost love.  The song was covered by many artists, but no one could croon it like Rosie.

This is Happiness.  I'm up to chapter 36 of 43, and page 311 of 379.  I listened to portions while driving to and from the VA, and read other portions while waiting for my appointments there.  'Twas probably a mistake listening when I couldn't read along with the oral narration, but so it goes.

VA:  I had a great conversation with an old veteran of the "Tin Can" (destroyers) Navy and his wife in the waiting room of the Gold Clinic this afternoon.  His wife was a maternity/obstetrical nurse at Froederdt for many years..

Tuesday, March 10, 2026

3/10/2026

 March 10, 2026

1971 Senate approved the amendment lowering voting age to 18

2012 At least 130 rockets were fired into Israel from Gaza

2014 German Chancellor Angela Merkel warned Vladimir Putin that making Crimea part of Russia was illegal and in violation of Ukraine's constitution

2020 Russian lower house of Parliament passed legislation to allow Vladimir Putin to hold the office of President for life

2023 California's Silicon Valley Bank, the main bank for tech start-ups, collapsed after a sudden bank run and credit crisis - largest US bank failure since 2008 

2025  U.S. stocks experienced a relatively steep drop as the Nasdaq Composite fell 4% and the S&P 500 fell 2.7%. Economists attributed the drop to recent all-time highs, recession fears, and concerns about a potential U.S. government shutdown and the tariffs imposed by the Trump administration. 

In bed at 9:35, awake and moved to LZB at 2, then out to TV room at 2: 20.  Up again at 5 for my CHF weigh-in, back to bed, up at 8:50.   ?/?/?/?  0500 125/72/58  103  206.4

Morning meds at ? a.m.   

Out of commission most of the day with bad back pain, right side between rib cage and hips.   Called the triage nurse at the VA, got a 1:30 appointment at the Gold Clinic tomorrow.

Monday, March 9, 2026

3/9/2026

 Monday, March 9, 2026

1945 334 US B-29 Superfortresses attacked Tokyo with 120,000 fire bombs

1962 US advisors in South Vietnam joined in a  firefight

1964 Supreme Court issued NY Times vs Sullivan decision: public officials must prove malice to recover damages in libel actions

1974 The last Japanese soldier, a guerrilla operating in the Philippines, surrendered 29 years after World War II ended

1980: Flemish and Walloon battled in Belgium; 40 injured

1989 US Senate rejected President George H. W. Bush's nomination of John Tower as Defense Secretary

In bed at 11, up at 6:15.  47/34/65/44  112/57/31  128  205.8

Morning meds at ? a.m.

 Fox News interview of Trump's press secretary on 3/6/2026:

JOHN ROBERTS: All right, now it’s time for our own private White House briefing with the press secretary, Karoline Leavitt. Karoline, thanks for being with us this Friday afternoon, appreciate your time.

KAROLINE LEAVITT: Thanks for having me.

ROBERTS: I wanted to start you off this afternoon because we have confirmed reports from U.S. officials that Russia is providing intelligence to Iran to help it target U.S. assets in the region. I’m sure this is something that does not please the president whatsoever. Has he spoken to Putin about it?

LEAVITT: Well, look, I’ll leave that to the president to answer himself. But what I will tell you, John, we don’t comment on intelligence reports that are leaked to the press. Whether or not this happened, frankly, it does not really matter because President Trump and the United States military are absolutely decimating the rogue Iranian terrorist regime. 

It doesn't matter to Karoline Leavitt and it may not matter to Donald Trump, but it matters to the sailors and airmen, the soldiers and Maines within striking range of Iranian lethal weapons.  I ask again, as I have many times, is Donald Trump merely a Russian asset or is he a Russian agent? 

Two years ago, I learned that my brother-in-law Jim Reck died.  From my journal, this date in 2024:

I'm grateful to be alive though I am feeling sad and a bit stunned.  My niece Chrissy texted me last night at 8:59: "Dad passed."  No other information.  Nephew Mike texted me at 9:02: "Hello.  Dad passed away this evening.  I know he is much happier to be back with my Mom in Heaven."  I wasn't aware of either message until I took my phone off its charging cable at 3:30.  Mike posted this on FaceBook:

Dad, you are the man I hope to make the most proud. 

You taught me how to be a gentleman. You taught me how to love fully, with my whole heart. You taught me everything I know about being a man. I know I mastered some of your lessons, and some I have tried and failed to get right yet. But I promise I will keep trying toget them right.

Just know I have finally found a woman that I love the way you love and loved Mom. There was never a time where you could question how much he loved His Kitty. And now he is up in Heaven with her. Truly in his Heaven, taking care of her again. 

If you knew him, you know he was the king of inappropriate humor, you knew he was willing to always do anything and everything for those he loved, he would be there for you at a moments notice. He was never afraid to say I love you. 

His life wasn't always easy. As a child he grew up in a broken home, that wasn't as loving or supportive as it should have been. He spent his teens in a Chicago street gang called the Shy City Scribes. He was a trouble maker, a law breaker and pretty much a runaway, and then he met my Mom. He always said if it wasn't for her he would have died young and stupid.

He went in to the army, did his service to our country, came out and went to technical school, got a job with Xerox, where he stayed for his entire career and he married his love, my Mom.

They started their life together, wanting a family but, they were told they wouldn't be able to have children. They sought to adopt a child and that is were I came in. They were in the process of finalizing the adoption when my Mom found out she was pregnant with the miracle child, my sister, Chrissi. And their dream of having family came true. 

Dad, you were the best Dad ever. Maybe I prejudice here, but that's how I feel. Growing up you sacrificed, you did all you could for us and then some. You were a roadie for me many times, you watched my metal bands play shows, even though you loved country music. You were always there when I needed you. 

I love you Dad. I hope I will make you proud when we met again. Rest in Peace and be with your Angel. Give Mon a hug for us.

I replied:

Mikey, as I've often said, you are a gifted writer but I am so sad to read these words. You are sure right about your Dad's childhood as an abused and neglected child. He often told me of how he was on a bad path until he met your wonderful Mom. I remember talking with her about how he had broken the cycle of abuse and neglect that he endured as a child with his life as a steady, loving, reliable provider for his family and a good citizen. His life was an acheivement to be proud of. He loved your Mom with his entire heart and soul, just as she loved him. My heart's aching as I think of both of them. For some reason, what I am remembering most vividly of your Dad now is the day I was visiting them in Glendale when your Dad found a baby sparrow that had fallen out of its nest. He picked it up and protected that bird and then he drove that little bird (and me) for miles out into the desert in the middle of nowhere where there was a wildlife rehab facility where he entrusted that little bird. And you know the story of his keeping watch over an endangered baby burro all night. Your Dad used to go on elk hunting trips with his beloved Bucky, up into the mountains but he couldn't get himself to shoot an elk. Several years ago, your cousin Sarah and I did a driving tour of national parks and one day as we were driving we spotted on a ridge a magnificent bull elk that took our breath away and Sarah said to me "Yep, that's why Jim can't shoot them." There is a very warm place in my heart for your Dad, and of course for your Mom. All our lives were enriched by both of them and are diminished by their passing. I'm feeling sad today but glad that my life has been enriched by your Mom and your Dad, and by you and Chrissie.

Jim was born on April 11, 1941, 4 months before I was.  He always treated me like royalty when I visited.  I am kind of stunned to learn of his death with no other information.  I texted Chrissie at 7:41 a.m.:

Hi, Sweetie.   i didn’t see this message until I got up this morning.  I felt almost stunned by it; I didn’t know your Dad had been ill.  I posted some of my thoughts about him in a comment to Mikey’s memorial on Facebook.  Your Dad was ‘a diamond in the rough,’ a person with an incredibly harsh start in life who made much of his life and had much to be proud of, to be admired.  He had an abundance of kindness in his heart, as your Mom did, a trait both you and Mikey have inherited.  I know the past couple of years, and the year before, can’t have been easy for you.  I hope you’re OK and I’m sorry for your loss.❤️

and she replied:

Thank you, he actually was doing just fine, Wednesday he said he had pains in his heart, I had a nurse here within a couple of hours, she really didn’t say much, he had an odd weezing, she wasn’t sure about without testing, my dad and I talked about the nurse and he liked her, he slept a ton Thursday and died in his sleep Friday.

Many years ago, say 11 or 12, Tom St. John called me and asked if I wanted to accompany him to a Milwaukee Repertory Theater performance of Dickens' A Christmas Carol.  As I recall, Caela was ill.  I agreed despite misgivings because of my chronic pelvic pain and IC problems.  Before the performance, we met for a drink at some watering hole and in the course of schmoozing Tom said that he wished he could live forever, but only if he were young and healthy.  I said that living forever sounded like a nightmare to me, in a state of never-changing, never-growing, never-ending.  I still feel that way.  I'm reminded of the scene in the Peter Cook and Dudley Moore original Bedazzled in which Cook as Beelzebub/George Spiggott describes  to Dudley Moore/Stanley Moon just how boring Heaven is:

[George climbs up on a London postbox.]

George Spiggott:  I'm God. This is my throne, see? All around me are the cherubim, seraphim, continually crying 'Holy, holy, holy'. the angels, archangels, that sort of thing. Now you be me, Lucifer, the loveliest angel of them all.

Stanley Moon:  What do I do?

George Spiggott:  Well, sort of dance around praising me, mainly...

Stanley Moon:  What sort of things do I say?

George Spiggott:  Anything that comes into your head that's nice - how beautiful I am, how wise I am, how handsome...that sort of thing. Come on, start dancing.

Stanley Moon:  You're wise!, You're beautiful! You're handsome!

George Spiggott:  Thank you very much.

Stanley Moon:  The universe! What a wonderful idea - take my hat off to you!

George Spiggott:  Thank you.

Stanley Moon:  Trees - terrific! Water - another good one!

George Spiggott:  That was a good one...

Stanley Moon:  Yes! Sex - top marks!

George Spiggott:  Now make it more personal... a bit more fulsome please. Come on.

Stanley Moon:  Immortal... invisible... you're handsome... you're glorious... you're the most beautiful person in the WORLD!

[Stanley performs a headstand, removes his hat, and wipes his brow.]

Stanley Moon:  Here, I'm getting a bit bored with this. Can't we change places?

George Spiggott:  That's exactly how I felt.

That humorous description of life in Heaven pretty closely matches the conception of the BEATIFIC VISION that I was taught as a young Catholic.  "According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church and the Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, the beatific vision is God opening himself in an inexhaustible way to the saints, so that they can see him face to face, and thereby share in his nature, and therefore enjoy eternal, definitive, supreme, perfect, and ever new happiness."  Now I am an old man growing older every day until the day I don't.  I've outlived my parents and my sister, most of my law firm colleagues and law faculty colleagues, other family members and other friends.  When I underwent the bladder surgery 4 days ago, the anesthesiologist reminded me that I have an Advance Directive on file at the VA including a Do Not Resuscitate instruction.  He explained that sometimes with anesthesia, the patient stops breathing and needs to be resuscitated.  He asked if I wanted the DNR instruction ignored for that surgery.  It was rather a sobering experience to have a doctor in surgical scrubs tell you that what we are about to do to you in the next several minutes may cause you to stop breathing.  Do you want us to let you die or revive you?  What does it say about my readiness to pass from this 'vale of tears' that I asked to be revived?

...............................

 I write this today, two years later:  Not long thereafter, I underwent cataract surgery and again the surgeon asked about the DNR order, but then I replied, without hesitation: 'Let me die."  Indeed, I said it twice.  After the bladder surgery, I had a long conversation about the matter and assured myself that we were on the same page, had a shared understanding and will not to extend our lives artificially in such circumstances.  


 

 


Sunday, March 8, 2026

3/8/2026

 Sunday, March 8, 2026

1917 US Senate introduced the Cloture Rule, requiring a two-thirds majority to end debate, at the urging of Woodrow Wilson

1934 An Edwin Hubble photo showed as many galaxies as the Milky Way has stars

2018  President Donald Trump authorized tariffs on steel and aluminium, excluding Canada and Mexico

2025  China announced that it would implement 100% tariffs on several Canadian agricultural exports and 25% tariffs on pork and aquacultural products in retaliation against earlier tariffs instituted by Canada on Chinese electric vehicles and metal exports.

In bed at 11, after Geri returned from her MSO date with Micaela, up at 6.  34/19/56/32  120/73/59  207.6  

Morning meds at 9 a.m.  

Glassland, which I watched last night, was a 2014 movie directed by Gerard Barrett and set in urban, working-class Dublin.  It tells the story of Jack and his alcoholic mother.  He loves her and tries hard to help her before she kills herself with 'the drink.'  That part is clear enough.  What is much less clear, to me at least, is that Jack supports himself as a nighttime taxi driver who works part-time for a human trafficking, human organ harvesting gangster.  He picks up and delivers mostly young Asian women who are financially needy enough to be willing to sell one or more of their organs, usually a kidney.  The work stresses and distress him because he is not a man without a conscience.  Indeed, he has a pretty sensitive conscience.  He is commendably loyal to his friends, his mother, and his younger brother, who has Down's Syndrome and was rejected by his mother.  As the plot moves along, John himself needs 8,000 euros to get his mother admitted to an alcoholism rehabilitation facility, borrows the money from his gangster employer, and gets more deeply involved in the grisly organ harvesting business until he is so sickened by it that he saves one of the intended victims, delivers her to the rehab facility that is treating his mother, and offers his own kidney to pay off his debt to his boss.

The acting in the movie is excellent, especially by Jack Raynor playing the son, John, and by Toni Collette, playing his mother, Jean.  The writing, directing, and filming, on the other hand, left a lot to be desired.  The subplot about the organ harvesting activities wasn't at all clear to me as I watched the story unfold.  It's a harsh film, much of it filmed at night, inside John's taxi, and in the non-scenic parts of Dublin.  None of the victims of the organ harvesting has a speaking role.  The gangster-boss is only heard on the other end of phone calls with John and it's never very clear what they are talking about.  The story is intended to show the harsh, claustrophobic, constrained lives of poor, working-class, urban Irish, and it succeeds at that, but at the cost of its viewing being quite an unpleasant experience for its audience, at least for this one.

Brutal Schadenfreude could be the headline title for Maureen Dowd's weekend column on the relationship between Kristi Noem and Corey Lewandowski.  Instead, it is "Wuthering Heights, MAGA Style."  Excerpts: 

Eat your heart out, Emerald Fennell.

You may have the alluring stars Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi cavorting on the moors in your crimson adaptation of “Wuthering Heights.” But for radioactive romance, you can’t beat Washington.

Emily Brontë’s Cathy and Heathcliff are selfish, manipulative creatures, destroying each other and all around them as they indulge their passions and egos. But their damage was kept to one windswept village.

With MAGA’s version of “Wuthering Heights,” the far less alluring but equally intertwined Kristi Noem and Corey Lewandowski have been cavorting over the swamp, scandalizing the capital as they’ve spread their cruelty far and wide. (To Lewandowski’s credit, he didn’t try to kill a dog like Heathcliff did. That’s Noem’s department.)

Holiday Barbie, as Robbie’s Cathy has been dubbed for her ostentatious dresses and hairstyles, pales in comparison with the costumes and Rapunzel extensions of ICE Barbie. Imprisoned in her marriage to Edgar Linton, Robbie’s Cathy gleams in elaborate gowns and necklaces. But Noem topped that. When she went to see migrants in prison in El Salvador, she sported a baseball cap with an Immigration and Customs Enforcement logo — and a gold Rolex Cosmograph Daytona that’s worth $50,000.

Like Heathcliff, Lewandowski is known as a menacing presence who has been accused of having some dark physical exchanges with women. (Now there’s a dog Noem won’t put down.)

President Trump had rejected the plea of Lewandowski — who managed Trump’s 2016 campaign until he got fired after dust-ups with the Trump family and others — to be Noem’s chief of staff, because Trump was disturbed “by the optics of Lewandowski working as chief of staff to someone with whom he had reportedly been romantically involved,” as The Atlantic’s Ashley Parker and Michael Scherer put it. (Noem and Lewandowski, who are both married with children, have denied the affair.)

Kristi slid Corey into the Department of Homeland Security as a temporary special government employee and made him her powerful aide-de-camp. He has stayed long beyond his allotted 130 days, thanks to scheming workarounds. For a time, Trump let it ride, even though, according to The New York Post, he cringed when he saw them flagrantly taking sips from the same can of soda — an unmistakable tell.

An Atlantic story called Lewandowski and Noem “the First Couple of a Dysfunctional D.H.S.” As Noem’s enforcer and promoter, Lewandowski had a hand in every decision.

An upcoming book by the NBC News reporter Julia Ainsley reveals that senior officials held a secret meeting in 2025 after Trump was sworn in to discuss what they saw as the toxic romance warping — or wuthering — the agency’s plans as it embarked on the barbaric roundup of illegal immigrants. The rough manhunt drained the department of compassion as it attempted to build up Noem and capture headlines. Lewandowski tried to think of ways to redeem Noem after she disgustingly called Renee Good and Alex Pretti, victims of her ICE run amok, domestic terrorists.

I know its uncharitable of me, and petty, to derive pleasure from the misfortune of Noem and Lewandowski, but I do, just as I hope for misfortune for Donald Trump and other members of his fat cat cabinet.  Flip Wilson's character, Geraldine, always blamed the Evil One for her sins: "The Devil made me do it."  I have to take responsibility for my own schadenfreude.  Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.  Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.  It's been a lifetime since my last confession.  


More on This is Happiness.  I arrived at chapter 20 of the novel this morning, in which Noah's mother suffers what appears to be a stroke, bringing on the loss of her ability to walk and to speak.  It occurs while she is taking Noah to buy him a new pair of long trousers to go along with his new secondary school leather shoes.  The short narration triggered two, really three, significant memories in me.  
    The first was of my mother taking me to the big clothing store on Roosevelt Road, 12th Street, in Chicago, to get me the clothes I needed to head off to college in Milwaukee the Fall of 1959.  The only item I remember purchasing that day was a beautiful green pinwale corduroy sport coat that I wore for years, until it was almost literally falling apart.  I know we purchased other items; I just can't recall what they were.  In any event, the thought that struck me this morning was how my mother must have felt that day, preparing her firstborn and only son to leave home.  I, of course, was excited and a bit daunted by the prospect, but I suspect my mother had some very different feelings.  I'm sensitive to this fact now because of the second memory triggered by the novelist's story: that of my sister telling me, in our old age, that she cried on the way home to Chicago after she and my parents dropped me off at my dormitory at Marquette that Fall.  
    She was broken-hearted that I was leaving home.   With all we had gone through in our young lives, we were important to each other, a mutual admiration society and mutual support for each other.  Once again, I was oblivious to her pain, my attention consumed by the excitement and nervousness of starting my life as a college student, no longer living with my family, putatively independent.   The story of Noah and his mother drove home to me how focused I can be on my own feelings at any moment and oblivious to the feelings of those close to me, sharing in the event and the consequences of that very moment.  Noah was 12 years old when his mother fell, and I was barely 18 when I left home, but the challenge of self-absorption is a lifelong one.  Perhaps it even gets worse as we move through life and our lives get more demanding, complex, and cluttered.  
    The third memory was not of something I was a part of, but rather something of which I was informed, i.e., when my sister called me in 1973 to tell me that our mother had collapsed in her backyard garden, and was in the intensive care unit of the Blue Island Hospital.  An aneurysm in her brain had ruptured, and she would die from it 9 days later.  She was 51 years old.  My Dad would live another 34 years without her, Kitty another 50 years, while I am still living.  None of us ever got over the loss of her, which I've often written about, and more often spoken about to Kitty and my Dad during their lives.  What a cosmos the four of us were, at least for a brief time!  We all lived together only between 1945, when Dad returned from the War, and 1959, when I left for college, less than 15 years,  yet our lives were ever interconnected and 'entangled' so that none of us could be described wholly independently from each of the others, even when we were separated by time and distance.
    What I wonder about as I write these thoughts is whether all, or most old men, go through thoughts like these just from reading a novel set in other lands at other times with other people, re-living experiences from their own lives, from eons ago.  

Another 84 year old has died.  Jesse Jackson and Chuck Mangione recently.  John McGregor yesterday.  Country Joe McDonald today.  Will I join the club, or make it to 85?
No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

************