Slogthrop Imponderables and Incommensurables

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

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P. Bosley Slogthrop: Boz has been a permanent resident of Bosky Dells Home for Broken-Down Old Lawyers since he became deranged pondering what he calls the “Slogthopian Conundrum,” i.e., that nothing must be something. Boz began losing sleep after hearing Billy Preston sing “Nuthin’ from nuthin’ leaves nuthin’ . . . You gotta have somethin’ to be with me . . .” He started perseverating ‘nuthin’ from nuthin, nuthin’ from nuthin’’. His fevered brain reasoned “You can’t take away nothing, for there would be nothing to take away! Ergo, nothing must really be SOMETHING! But if nothing = something, must it not follow that SOMETHING = NOTHING???” Night after night, day after day, for weeks on end, old Boz pondered the paradox – nothing is something, something is nothing – until at last he was led bleary-eyed and blathering from his local Taco Bell to be committed to Bosky Dells where he spends his bleary days and restless nights posting comments to stories in the Washington Post and wherever else he can squeeze a comment. The old duffer's schizophrenia is sometimes under control but rarely so when he writes.

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