1/19/24

 Friday, January 19, 2024

In bed around 10, awake around 3:30, unable to sleep, bait bucket thoughts like last night's, up at 4:30, let Lilly out at 4:45.  1/4 inch of new snow on the ground.  11°, high of 14°, windy day ahead,   The wind is NNW at 18 mph, 10-18./29.  Sunrise at 7:18, sunset at 4:46, 9+27.  We're gaining almost 2 minutes of daylight each day.  Solar noon is 12;02, altitude at 27°

Treadmill; pain.  The usual awakening pains.  I'm wondering whether what has become chronic right wrist pain may be carpal tunnel syndrome.  I'll ask PM&R on the 31st.   30.18 & 0.70 while watching a 1-hour interview of David Levy, former Israeli peace negotiator, on YouTube re: Gaza and Israel.  His view of the future: grim.  Plus 30:07 &  0.68 watching an interview with Gideon Levy, a journalist with Haaretz.  (My TouTube home screen gives me only Israeli 'lefties'; algorithms.)  Daily totals   60:25 & 1.38 miles.

I'm grateful for snow and ice, at least when they are not damaging people, property, trees, and shrubs.  As far as the eye can see, the earth is covered in a clean, white blanket.  Rooftops are uniformly white.  Early in the morning and late in the afternoon, the sun shines through the ice that coats the branches and twigs on trees and bushes, creating sparkles as I drive past them.  Some animals find shelter from the dangerous winter winds in the snow.  That being said, I will nonetheless be grateful when the beautiful snow and ice are gone, for they create great challenges for old-timers.

"The sights you see will drive you mad."   Deuteronomy 28:34   I read "Two Jewish Writers, a Bottle of Whiskey, and a Post–October 7 Reality" by Gal Beckerman in The Atlantic this morning.  It's an edited interview by Beckerman of Ruby (Reuven) Namdar and Joshua Cohen, two Jewish novelists, the former an Israeli living in NYC and the latter an American.  Namdar mentioned this line from Deuteronomy and it reminded me of contemporary life with the massacres of October 7th and those going on in Gaza afterward, as well as the war in Ukraine, scary news about accelerating global warming, the likelihood of Trump regaining power, etc.  Deuteronomy 26 is an extraordinary read and a reminder of biblical warfare and the transactional nature of God's relationship with Israel.  If you do what I tell you, you'll get these blessings.  If you don't, the Lord shall cause thee to be smitten before thine enemies, you will be pledged to be married to a woman, but another will take her and rape her, and because of the suffering your enemy will inflict on you during a siege, you will eat the fruit of the womb, the flesh of the sons and daughters the LORD your God has given you.  It reminds me of King George's song in Hamilton: 'You'll be back, time will tell.  You'll remember that I served you well. . . Cuz when push comes to shove,  I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love  Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da.  Or Tevye's chat with God in Fiddler:  " I know, I know. We are Your chosen people. But, once in a while, can't You choose someone else?"

I was an invader, a colonizer, an occupier.   This thought came to me this morning prompted by I know not what.  During my 234 days as a Marine in Vietnam, was I not, from the point of view of the ordinary rice farmer in the field, an invader, a colonizer (in terms of economics), an occupier?   We were invited into the country by a government we had installed, a government controlled by elite Catholics in a country overwhelmingly Buddhist, a repressive, undemocratic government the opposite of the kind of government we professed to be defending.  We were there to impose our will by force, by bullets and bombs, by napalm and white phosphorous, by Agent Orange and other poisons, by 'strategic hamlets' and 'free-fire zones.  How naïve I was, how ignorant and foolish.

Lilly has been sprightly today,  but she stumbles when turning around.  Proprioception?

Jimmy is in the ER again.  My heart aches for him, my dear friend with whom I share bladder grief.