6/21/2025

 Saturday, June 21, 2025

D+206/139/1309

Sick day #8

1963 Cardinal Montini was elected Pope Paul VI, the 262nd head of the Roman Catholic Church, succeeding John XXIII

In bed at 9:30, up at 5.   High of 91°, very windy today.

Kevzara, day 11/14; Trulicity, day 2/7; morning meds at 10 a.m.; Blink pill at 10  a.m.; Eye wipes at 7 a.m.  and   p.m.; Eye mask at 8 a.m. and  p.m.; Ketoconazole cream at 11 a.m.  and  p.m.  Eye ointment at bedtime.    

Not what I was hoping for, but I'm glad I darkened his face and got rid of its blandness.  In the process, I saw what I hadn't seen before, the blues and reds Gauguin put in his hair, which I'll do later.  Also, the whole work is done in primary colors: red, blue, and yellow.  I did those two hills behind the crucifix in green, but Gauguin did them in blue.  I learned something from this coloring book exercise.

"Subdued mood,"   I'm feeling pretty 'subdued' this morning over my long-lasting cold or whatever it is.  I knew when I woke up that I was in for at least another day of 'the miz'ries'. . . Today is the first of three straight days of high heat and humidity, with the heat index over 100° each day.   I had a pretty decent night's sleep despite several pit stops and some nasty pain in my right hip.  Nonetheless, I sat on the edge of my bed for about 5 minutes, wondering whether I could get some more sleep if I lay down again.  I decided it was not in the cards, and so I got up.  I read only the headlines in the NY Times and WaPo, so much of the 'news' is samo samo.  I managed to complete the NYT mini-crossword puzzle with some difficulty and the Connections puzzle with a lot of difficulty and some luck.  I've worked on more than 300 of the Connections puzzles and have a success rate of 59%.  I hit 60% earlier this week, but only for one day.  Those puzzles are very challenging for me, and I often have to be aided by luck in solving them.  Each morning, I ask myself why I keep doing them.  I ask myself the same question about doing this journal.   I'm wondering whether they have become a big part of my raison d'être, i.e., whether without them I'd have less reason to get out of bed each morning.  I get out of bed, make a cup of tea or coffee, turn on my laptop, and record my daily data (in bed, awake, up, weather, pharmaceutical schedules, and later, the anniversaries. Debate whether to check Morning Joe or the New York Times first, check out the NYT articles (or now ostly just the headlines), do the mini-crossword and Connections, clean up the kitchen if I hadn't done it the night before, check out Facebook,  wonder what I should write about in this journal, regard the birds, . . .  Then what?  If I stop reading the news (or headlines), stop doing the puzzles, stop keeping a journal, what is left?  Coloring book exercises with watercolor or gouache?  Face the challenge of the basement stairs to try my luck with acrylics on canvas?  It's a fair question: what is my raison d'être?  Am I just imagining my Dad in his old age talking about waiting around to die, or did he really say that?  When you're nearly useless, is it selfish to live, or is it selfish to die?  The Ballad of Narayama, Plan 75, Eskimo.

The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem.

2 Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.

3 What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun?

4 One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever.

5 The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and hasteth to his place where he arose.

6 The wind goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north; it whirleth about continually, and the wind returneth again according to his circuits.

7 All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full; unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they return again.

8 All things are full of labour; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.

9 The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.

10 Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new? it hath been already of old time, which was before us.

11 There is no remembrance of former things; neither shall there be any remembrance of things that are to come with those that shall come after.

12 I the Preacher was king over Israel in Jerusalem.

13 And I gave my heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all things that are done under heaven: this sore travail hath God given to the sons of man to be exercised therewith.

14 I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit.

15 That which is crooked cannot be made straight: and that which is wanting cannot be numbered.

16 I communed with mine own heart, saying, Lo, I am come to great estate, and have gotten more wisdom than all they that have been before me in Jerusalem: yea, my heart had great experience of wisdom and knowledge.

17 And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit.

18 For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.