3/21/2026

 Saturday, March 21, 2026

2nd day of Spring, 3rd day living at the VA

1947 President Harry Truman signed Executive Order 9835 requiring all federal employees to have "complete and unswerving loyalty to the United States"

1966 US Supreme Court reversed a Massachusetts ruling that "Fanny Hill" is obscene

1973 White House Counsel John Dean told President Richard Nixon, "There is a cancer growing on the Presidency"

1973. Steven Charles Kevil was born

2025. The Trump administration announces a new air superiority sixth-generation fighter aircraft produced by Boeing, the Boeing F-47.

In bed at 8 with the TV on and tuned to the Chaplains' channel, pretty photos and sound turned off, just waiting to nod off.  I'm wondering whether there's any chance at all that I might get discharged tomorrow, but I think the answer's 'no.'  My heart rate has been jumping around like a Mexican jumping bean all day.  I gather from what the doc told me this morning that they want to keep me here hooked up to the Holtor Monitor-like telemetry, constantly monitored at the nurse's station, until that heart rate stabilizes and they can get an accurate baseline for it.  Lights off before 9, nurse Hailey woke me up around 10:30 to flush out my IV tube, again around 11:30 to "take your vitals.  At 1:30, I woke up because the connection end of my IV implant was loose, i.e., the tape that adhered it to my arm had doubled on itself and was no longer holding the tube down.  Hailey brought in a fishnet sock-thing to secure the tube to my arm.  At 2:30, I got up for a pit stop, and, on the way back to my bed, I pulled a chair over to the windows, sat down, and tried to capture a photo of the lovely views out my window (the softly lighted greenspace park, Lake Sheridan (?) in front of Building 43, Brewers Stadium, etc.) but it was too dark and I didn't have the patience to fool around with the aperture setting and shutter speed on my iPhone for a timed exposure.  I just sat for awhile and enjoyed the very pretty view, as lovely at night as it is during the day.  How lucky I was to be put in this particular room!  Back to bed at 3, wondering whether I would be able to fall asleeep after typing these notes. . . I did fall asleep until 5:30 when Nurse Hailey woke me up to 'take your vitals' again and bring me 2 omeprazole capsules.  The start of Day 3 in the hospital.  At 6:30, Hailey returned with the scale for my daily weigh-in, checking for fluid retention.

As I waited to fall back asleep around 3, I wondered whether my heart is dying, whether I am simply dying.  I'm surely in an appropriate age cohort, the middle of my 85th year of life.  I've been experiencing this slow and volatile heart rate rate, or bradycadia, for at least for several months now, long before Dr. Singh prescribed the bisoprolol that is being blamed for my current condition.  I've complained of occasional dizziness, fatigue, and tendency to take headers for years now.  Also, the last pill I took was on Wednesday morning, so I've had two days for its effectiveness to wear off yet apparently all during yesterday and the day before, my heart rate have been showing up in the low 30s and bouncing around.  Is its electrical circuitry simply worn out from age?  I certainly have that feeling, though I'm not feeling as if I'm at death's door, whatever that feeling is.  Who knows?  On the whiteboard mounted on the wall of my hospital room, there is a section labeled "Daily Goals" and on it is written "tele", for telemetry, real time monitoring of heart rhythm 24/7 for days.  During my check-in interview with Nurse Joe on Thursday, I was asked the regular question about the DNR instruction in my advance directive, "If your heart stops beating while you're here, do you want us to try to resuscitate you?"  As I did before my bladder surgery last August, I answered "No," which seems to me to be a form of passive physician-assisted suicide, the legal form.  The active form is illegal in Wisconsin and in most of the US because of our hypocritical claim of respect for 'the sacredness of Life." A sick joke.  In any event, I went back to sleep at 3 this morning, realizing that it wouldn't be considered an untimely, surprising, or tragic death if my heart stopped beating, but again, who knows?  I could live to see 90 (please, no!) or kick the bucket in the next 90 seconds.  So it goes. 

Text to Steve:  

Happy Birthday, Buddy!  I'm thinking of you today as I do on so many days.  On the days I drive from our house to the VA medical center, I've taken to getting off of I-43 at 11th Street and driving through the old streets (State, Highland, Kilbourn, Wells, or Wisconsin) between 11th and 35th streets where I turn to cross the viaduct and get down to National Avenue.  I always notice the new construction, but mostly I admire the many old, classic buildings that are still occupied in that central Milwaukee neighborhood.  That's where I often wish you were with me to admire those old classics and imagine the history connected with themr  When I drive through 'estate and mansion' River Hills and Mequon neighborhoods, I always wish my sister were with me to see where 'the swells' live.  When I drive the country roads north of Milwaukee, admiring farmhouses, barns, silos, and outbuildings, I wish my Dad were still with me, so you're in great company of those dear to me who are never far from my thoughts.  Today, I'm back in the VA hospital being monitored for some heart problems I've developed. I'll be here at least for the weekend, but I'm feeling great, am in a big private room with a great view of the Old Soldiers Home commissioned by Abraham Lincoln at end of the Civil War and of the Brewers' stadium, and they even have great food here.  Looking out on so much history, it's no wonder I think of my doppelgänger.  Happy birthday! and give Nikki a hug for me.❤️

Among the things that make me want to puke and terrify me:  From this morning's NY Times, 

Hegseth Invokes Divine Purpose to Justify Military Might - Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has imbued U.S. military actions with a Christian moral underpinning that suggests they are divinely sanctioned, by  Greg Jaffe and Elizabeth Dias.

He spoke of “overwhelming force” and the U.S. military’s unmatched ability to rain “death and destruction from above” on its “apocalyptic” Iranian foes.

Then, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, standing in the Pentagon, issued a call to the American people for a specific kind of wartime prayer. He asked them to pray for victory in battle and the safety of their troops.

“Every day, on bended knee, with your family, in your schools, in your churches,” he said, “in the name of Jesus Christ.”

At a time when the U.S. and Israeli militaries are dropping thousands of bombs on a majority-Shiite Muslim nation, the explicitly Christian nature of Mr. Hegseth’s call stood out. 

More than any top American military leader in recent history, Mr. Hegseth has framed U.S. military operations in the Middle East, Africa and Latin America as bigger than politics or foreign policy. Often he has imbued these actions with a Christian moral underpinning that suggests they are divinely sanctioned

It is this view of a higher power, married to lethal American firepower, that Mr. Hegseth says gives him confidence that the United States will prevail in Iran.

“Our capabilities are better. Our will is better. Our troops are better,” he said in a recent interview with CBS News’s “60 Minutes.” “The providence of our almighty God is there protecting those troops, and we’re committed to this mission.” 

With God on our side, Bob Dylan, 1964

 Oh, my name, it ain't nothin', my age, it means less

The country I come from is called the Midwest
I's taught and brought up there, the laws to abide
And that the land that I live in has God on its side

Oh, the history books tell it, they tell it so well
The cavalries charged, the Indians fell
The cavalries charged, the Indians died
Oh, the country was young with God on its side

The Spanish-American War had its day
And the Civil War too was soon laid away
And the names of the heroes I was made to memorize
With guns in their hands and God on their side

The First World War, boys, it came and it went
The reason for fightin' I never did get
But I learned to accept it, accept it with pride
For you don't count the dead when God's on your side

The Second World War came to an end
We forgave the Germans, and then we were friends
Though they murdered six million, in the ovens they fried
The Germans now too have God on their side

I learned to hate the Russians all through my whole life
If another war comes, it's them we must fight
To hate them and fear them, to run and to hide
And accept it all bravely with God on my side

But now we've got weapons of chemical dust
If fire them we're forced to, then fire them we must
One push of the button and they shot the world wide
And you never ask questions when God's on your side

Through many dark hour I been thinkin' about this
That Jesus Christ was betrayed by a kiss
But I can't think for you, you'll have to decide
Whether Judas Iscariot had God on his side

So now as I'm leavin', I'm weary as hell
The confusion I'm feelin' ain't no tongue can tell
The words fill my head, and they fall to the floor
That if God's on our side, he'll stop the next war

Why is it that the folks who purport to be the biggest fans of the Prince of Peace have the most blood on their hands?  

 The view from my hospital window: some of those who pay the cost of the wars started by Christian and other Nationalists.