0802

August 2, 2022

 Down at 10, up at 5:30, 4 pss.

     Spent quite some time messing around with a wretched attempt to paint a piece aping Munch's Madonna, not the whole figure but rather the upper torso and head.  As I expected the dark eyes, looking like adjacent coal pits, did me in.  Plus I don't know what to do with the skin tones on the torso which looks like a broad sand desert completely unlike the face.  Paint over the whole thing and save the canvas or keep seeing if anything is salvageable?

    Read Elizabeth Bishop's "A Miracle for Breakfast" which I didn't understand at all till I found a couple analyses online.  Also stumbled upon a book review in The Irish Times with a photo of Bishop with a Siamese cat on her lap, which I emailed to Sarah.

    Watched the 'town hall meeting' on Channel 12 last night featuring the Republican candidates in Wisconsin's gubernatorial primary next week.  Rebecca Kleefisch, Tim Michels (endorsed by Trump, multi-millionaire, home in Greenwich, Connecticut), and a nebbishy 3rd candidate, Tim Ramthun, who seems sincere but a bit impaired and delusional.  Michaels appears to have all the psychological makings of a total fascist, with Kleefisch not far behind.  One of them will probably be our next governor.

    We are both going through some pre-grieving, much like I did for months with Kitty.  Lilly will be 13 years old on October 8th if she makes it till then.  Each day or week it seems she shows more lack of energy and strength, especially around her hips and rear legs.  Geri had her in Cheri's backyard, visiting and playing with Oliver who is quite a bit younger than Lilly.  When Lilly got home from Cheri's, i.e., across the street, she was exhausted, panting heavily for 10 or more minutes.  At on point while playing with Oliver, her rear legs splayed outward.  We never assume she will be successful in jumping up on the couch to be next to Geri, or in jumping onto the bed with her.  We take nothing for granted about her presence in our lives, her part of each of us.  

This afternoon, Geri spent time caring for Jimmy (replacing his lost wallet, ID card, etc., shopping, etc.) and then tending her vegetable garden at David and Sharon's.  Lilly was outside for about an hour at her new 'post', in the shade of the west tree in the north yard, looking down County Line Road for Geri to return, declining my invitations to come in the house until I lured her inside by promised treats.  We are living in dread of her declining condition and of maybe soon losing her.  Kitty, Jimmy, Lilly, .. . Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death . . .