11/17/23

 Friday, November 17, 2023

In bed at 9:45, awake @ 4, up at 4:40.  46°, drizzle, high of 56°, wind NNW at 15 mph, 6-16/26, WC is 39°.  Sunrise at 6:46, sunset at 4:26, 9+39.

Treadmilll; pain.  Another morning with CPP.  I'll be seeing the urologist a 8:15 on Monday.  I'm thinking levator ani syndrome but probably just another term for CPP, interstitial cystitis, etc.

Lilly at the dining room doorway waiting for a treat after an outing

It's dark and a fly is attracted to my laptop screen.  We have a flying critter in the house, taking shelter from the dropping temps?  It reminds me of Emily Dickinson:

I heard a Fly buzz – when I died – 

The Stillness in the Room

Was like the Stillness in the Air – 

Between the Heaves of Storm – 

The Eyes around – had wrung them dry – 

And Breaths were gathering firm

For that last Onset – when the King

Be witnessed – in the Room – 

I willed my Keepsakes – Signed away

What portions of me be

Assignable – and then it was

There interposed a Fly – 

With Blue – uncertain stumbling Buzz – 

Between the light – and me – 

And then the Windows failed – and then

I could not see to see – 

. . . . . . . 

That reminds me of Psalm 46: "He says 'Be still, and know that I am God.'"  A strange sequence of early morning thoughts when I woke up thinking of Lonnie Donegan's 1961 hit song:

Does your chewing gum lose its flavor

on the bedpost overnight?

If your mother says don't chew it,

Do you swallow it in spite?

Can you catch it on your tonsils,

Can you heave it left & right?

Does your chewing gum lose its flavor

on the bedpost overnight?

. . . . 

Also thinking of yesterday's mindfulness discussion and the idea of STILLNESS.  "The three stillnesses are stillness of body, speech, and mind. . .  You are not doing things like moving, talking, or following thoughts and it is important you notice these non-actions as a union of an absence and a tangible clear presence. They are not just nothing; by noticing the three stillnesses you bring stillness to life and directly experience a new dimension of your being."

Dickinson, the Psalmist, Lonnie Donegan, and the Buddha.  Good morning.

"Donald Trump is the biggest danger to the world in 2024." Thus editorializes The Economist.  "In our 38th annual predictive guide to thecoming year, and in all that time no single person has ever eclipsed our analysis as much as Donald Trump eclipses 2024. . . . This is a perilous moment for a man like Mr. Trump to be back knocking on the door of the Oval Office.  Democracy is in trouble at home.  Mr. Trump's claim to have won in 2020 was more than a lie: it was a cynical bet that he could manipulate and intimidate his compatriots, and it has worked.  America also faces growing hostility abroad, challenged by Russia in Ukriane, by Iran and its allied militieas in the Middle East and by Cina across the Taiwan Strait and in the South China Sea.  Those three countries loosely co0ordinate their efforts and share a vision of a new international order in which might is right and autocrats are secure. . . A second Trump term would be a watershed in a way the first was not.  Victory would confirm his most destructive instincts about power.  His plans would encounter less resistance.  And because America will have voted him in while knowing the worst, its moral authority would decline.  The election will be decided by tens of thousands of voters in just a handful of states.  In 2024 the fate of the world will depend on their ballots.

. . . . . 

And Wisconsin is one of them.  This ominous warning reminds me of my moaning to Kitty about America falling into fascism following Trump.  I didn't get into that in this text message, but it's the one I sent to her 2 years ago today:

Good Morning, Sweetheart,

      Two nights ago, for no reason known to me, I lost all the text messages saved on my laptop.  Hundreds, thousands just disappeared overnight.  And now I can’t type new messages so I am now using my phone with my clumsy fingers on the tiny keyboard.  I’m very displeased by this, very very displeased.

    I got a call from Kelly yesterday and I am always eager to hear from her but. She is not very informative.  I wish I could be with you in Arizona but I don’t think it’s in the cards.  I’m not in very good shape myself these days, feeling like I’m 90 years old rather than 80.  Long distance travel just about does me in.

    I am hoping beyond hope that Michael and especially Chrissi will be able to provide all the help you need but this COVID situation sure makes life more difficult for all of you.  I have the sense that neither Jim nor Chrissi is very symptomatic and I sure hope that is true.

    Geri learned yesterday that her good friend who lives across the street is building a new house and will be moving away, not all that far but still not in the neighborhood.  Its a big disappointment for Geri and will be a big loss.

 I hope you are bearing up under all your challenges.  I’m sure you know you are in my thoughts and prayers every day, every night, and every in between time.❤️🙏🏻❤️ 

What a blessing she was to me; what a blessing she still is in my memory.  I'm thankful that I've been able to save years and years of messages we share with each other every morning for so many years.  More blessings.  I'm reminded to back up onto my external hard drive this laptop again tomorrow as I try to do every Saturday now (wow, that's some awkward sentence.😝)

David and Ellis dropped over at 5.  Ellis brought a print of this year's school picture and David lifted the window over the kitchen sink whiich I could raise more than 3 inches or so.  We had to lift it to close the storm window.  While Geri and David schmoozed about Thanksgiving dinner, Ellis and I identified movie and book references in the moving ROKU graphic on the TV screen: a Harry Potter, King Kong, Showboat, Jaws, Rear Window, The Birdman of Alcatraz, Around the World in 80 Days, Diner. Sleepless in Seattle.