Wednesday, February 14, 2024
Ash Wednesday and Valentine's Day
In bed at 9:30, awake at 5:30, and up at 5:42 emerging from a dream of an imaginary going away party for someone at FF&SJ. Let Lilly out. I was about 12 inches from her head in the TV room before she woke up, 26°, high of 41°, sunny morning ahead, turning partly cloudy later. The wind is SW at 4 mph, 1-11/19. Sunrise at 6:51, sunset at 5:21, 10+29.
Treadmill; pain. I woke with considerable pain in my shoulder and wrist, but mostly in my wrist. It's painful to type. Ferkrimpter body, ferkrimpter mind. The wrist gets better with movement during the day, but the shoulder is a real problem, very limiting. Regrettable day off the treadmill; no excuse. My bad!
I'm grateful on this Valentine's Day for my wife, my partner in passing through this sometimes Dungeons and Dragons game of middle and old age. We have teamed up for most of the last 40 years and, though I was sure I loved her when we exchanged vows under Tom and Caela's crabapple tree, I know I love her even more now, so many years later because I know her much better now. I know why it is so easy for people to like her. I know why she has so many long-term, really lifetime friends. I sensed her goodness, her strength, her practical wisdom and judgment, and all her fine qualities before I married her but I've seen them confirmed in action now decade after decade. She is my Valentine and for her partnering with me all these years, I am most grateful.
Zen and the Birds of Appetite by Thomas Merton is the book I picked up from the library this morning. I want to know why Merton while continuing to embrace his Catholicism, was so taken with Zen Buddism. I read for the first time the introductory essay The Study of Zen. I say for the first time because it is clear that I need to reread it and to think about what it is Merton is saying. Even on first reading however, it is interesting, especially how he distinguishes Zen from Zen Buddhism and how he weaves in some New Testament sayings ( like 'judge not') and the writings of Meiser Eckhart. It's also interesting that I can see how Merton is speaking of the 3 levels of consciousness that I recently read about in The Idiot's Guide to Zen Living: sensing something, then identifying or naming it, and then judging, classifying, and thinking thoughts about it. His epigram for this introductory essay is "Better to see the face than to hear the name." Direct sensory experience is superior to thoughts about the experience, even naming it.
Memento, homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris. Remember, man, that you are dust, and into dust you will return. I saw a reporter on television this afternoon with the smudges of ashes on his forehead. It took me back to my youth when one would see such sights on so many people, at least if one lived in a Catholic neighborhood. The ashes are supposed to be the residue of burnt palm fronds from the preceding Palm Sunday. Ash Wednesday reminds us of our creation and of our curse: Genesis 2:7 - Then the LORD God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. Genesis 3:19 - By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.” Ash Wednesday was a big deal when I was a kid and for some reason, it was a big deal to have your forehead smudged. It symbolized being a member of the One True Church, one of the Faithful. Ash Wednesday marked the start of Lent and was a day of fasting and abstinence. We were expected to 'give something up,' like chocolate or comic books, or alcohol in the case of adults. Whatever we gave up for Lent, we would "offer it up" to God. I am not sure I ever knew the precise purpose of 'offering it up' but the idea was an attractive one. For one thing, any nasty experience in life could be "offered up." If you had pain from a burn caused by touching a hot skillet or teapot, you could 'offer up' the pain. If your favorite team lost an important contest, you could 'offer up' the disappointment. Whatever misery or nastiness life might throw your way, instead of it being simply a negative, it could become an occasion of grace because you could "offer it up." I'm wondering whether this was a particularly Irish Catholic thing, or whether the practice was widespread within the Church, or even within Christianity. Now that I think of it, my left shoulder has been painful for many weeks - I'll offer it up!
This is not who we are! We are (not) better than this! The big Super Bowl Victory Parade in Kansas City ended with a mass shooting with at least one person dead, 21 others, and several children shot.
18,874: The number of firearm deaths, excluding suicides, in 2023
36,357: The number of firearm injuries in 2023
6,192: The number of children and teenagers shot in 2023
656: The number of mass shootings in 2023. The mass shootings in 2023 killed 712 people and injured at least 2,692 others.
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