Sunday, March 3, 2024
In bed around 10:30 after long dozing on BL, and up at 2:22 unable to sleep with shoulder pain. 39°, high of 55°, windy day ahead, now SSE at 12 mph, 8-21/near 40. Sunrise at 6:23, sunset at 5:44, 11+20.
Yahrtzeit, It was 2 years ago that Kitty died, the end of her life extinguishing a light in mine. First Mom, then Dad, then Kitty. Dad had the quickest and most peaceful death, from an unknown cause, at age 86. Mama held on for 9 days in a coma after an aneurysm in her brain laid her low at age 51. Kitty suffered for years with COPD, most profoundly in the last of her 77 years. Kitty and I were with both Mama and Dad when they died, though neither was aware of our presence. I wasn't with Kitty at her end but I don't think she would have been aware of my presence either, but perhaps she would have if I had gotten there early enough. I often think I should have flown out there but my aggregate of ills and infirmities persuaded me that I needed to stay home. Was that a mistake? Or would I have been adding to the burdens on Chrissie and Barb Tunney by being there? It's one of those questions we don't get to know the answer to. Jim Tunney died several years ago after a long and very difficult final illness. I texted and called Barb's cell phone a few months ago and got no answer, making me wonder whether she's gone too.
Here is Michael's FB post this date last year:
Some memories suck. A year ago today I had left Mom to run home and grab some clothes to stay over there with her. The end was near and I had left work to go be with her. Like always, she waited until I left to exit this world and make her way to the next. I am sure it was part of her plan, to spare me the sight of her passing.
I was nearly home when my phone rang, my sister said, "She's Gone." So many emotions ran over me, her suffering was over, she was at peace and going to be with all of the family that passed before her, so there was joy in that. But then it sinks in, she is no longer here, and that was when the sadness came.
I miss you Mom!! May your rest be beautiful and hopefully they have pot roast in Heaven, because that is what I want when we meet again. Love you, Always!!
His posting on her birthday following her death:
Happy Birthday to one of the most wonderful people that has ever graced this Earth, Kitty Reck!! I miss you Mom!! I know she is no longer suffering and is at peace, but I would love to have one more conversation with her. Her heart was one of the biggest I have ever seen. She gave so much to people she didn't even know. She did so much charity work in her lifetime, and I witnessed it more than once, the times when the organization she worked with couldn't help someone she reached in to her pockets and helped. She didn't do it for recognition or accolades. She did it because she had a love for everyone. No biases, no judgement, just love. She was an inspiration and drives me to be the human I am today. In her honor today, do one selfless act of love and kindness. Or do 20. Or just keep doing them. She will love that!! Happy Birthday Mom!!!
The posting of her grandson Billie's wife, Rhiannon, the day after Kitty died.
To know her is to love her…
If you have ever had the privilege of meeting Kitty Reck you were impacted by her, she welcomed you in and always made sure your belly was fully, your voice was heard and your heart was ok and if it wasn’t you can bet she said a prayer for you to find peace and whatever ailed you.
I didn’t get a lot of real time with my grandmas and I loved being able to call her mine as well. She opened her home and heart to not only me but welcomed Kaydence and Justin as her own from day one. Celebrating all our accomplishments, rooting for the best things to all come our way and of course seeing them doing no wrong because they were perfect to her in every way.
The first birthday of mine we celebrated together she brought me to tears without even trying. She gave me a birthday card and wrote sweet words in it but then underlined the special parts. Not knowing that my Grandma Loretta would do the same in my cards.
I’m sad to share my birthday with your Now Angel birthday but I’m thankful you are no longer suffering and at peace. The world is a little colder without you and well I’m sure that god saved the prettiest Angel wings for you.
You will be missed dearly and have left an impact on all our hearts and lives forever. Until we meet again I pray you rest easy.
Michael's posting on Kitty's last birthday in 2021:
She is a hero. No doubt about it. I have seen this woman give so much of herself to world and never ask for a ounce of it in return. She would work to the point of exhaustion to care for families she had never even met, making sure they had food, clothing, money for rent or utilities. I know without a doubt, if the charity she worked for came up short, she would add the extra money out of her pocket to make things work. I always admired her ethic, her compassion and most all her heart.She is an incredible woman and what an honor it is to call her my Mom!!
These last few years have been hard for her, and she has suffered more than someone as selfless and as kind hearted should. Be she still makes sure those closest to her are cared for and loved.
Happy Birthday Kitty Reck!! You are my hero and I love you!!
And my posting that date:
On this date in 1944, in the Englewood neighborhood on the South Side of Chicago, a beautiful and courageous and saintly 21 year old mother, who was one of God’s gifts to this world, gave birth to a daughter who was destined to become an image of her mother, beautiful, courageous, and saintly, another of God’s gifts to the world. When Mother Mary brought the precious daughter home to her little basement apartment, her waiting brother, about to turn 3 years old, is reported to have said “Take her back. She doesn’t play.” That was just the first of many mistakes that almost 3 year old brother would make in his life, but he learned soon enough that that new sister of his, would become over the course of 2 long lifetimes, his best friend, his confidante, his soul-sister as well as his biological sister. He would come to love and admire her as she grew into a woman like their mother: beautiful in so many ways, courageous in so many ways, and saintly in so many ways. As they grew older and older, with lifetimes of living behind them, the brother would share his belief in the saintliness of his sister with their father, who would chuckle because he sometimes saw her when she was impatient, or ‘bossy’ or angry at one thing or another, and the now-old brother would suggest to the even older father that he just didn’t know what real saints looked like. The saintly sister herself would join in dismissing the idea that she was St. Kitty of Emerald Avenue and the brother would have to remind her and their father that real saints aren’t God and they are not angels - they are all human beings who get impatient, ‘bossy’, and even angry at times. What makes them saints was described by Jesus in Chapter 25 of the Gospel of St. Matthew: I was hungry and you gave me food. I was thirsty and you gave me water. I was sick and you cared for me. I needed a home and you took you into your home. So of course the brother, who had made many mistakes in his own life over many years, was not mistaken in describing his sister, who he loved so much, as a Saint. Nor is he mistaken in thanking God for giving him the blessing of his beautiful, courageous, and saintly sister, so very much like their dear mother.🙏❤️
Kitty as a newborn in 1944, me in my sailor suit, Dad in the Pacific preparing for Iwo Jima
Treadmill; pain. I took 2 8-Hour Arthritis Tylenol around 9 p.m. last night, so no more till 5 a.m. As of 10 a.m., still in pretty bad shape.
I'm grateful that Daylight Saving Time starts next weekend. This is a change for me. For years, I've wished that we didn't have DST, or at least that the government would pick one preferred system and stick with it. Now my circadian rhythms are so screwed up I'm ready to go to bed as soon as the soon goes down. It's a struggle to stay awake till 9, usually a losing struggle. I'm hoping the having a later sundown will help me staying awake later, and waking up later.
Enid Powell's Memorial Gathering was held this afternoon on Zoom, with mourners attending throughout the U.S. and in Israel. It was very touching, especially Pip's eulogy about the challenges she faced growing up with Enid's requireents. I was struck by the similarities of our childhoods, hers with her mother and mine with my father. I was also aware of course of today being the anniversary of Kitty's death. The rabbi who convened and presided over the formal part of the gathering was a woman, which pleased me She is Pip's brother's rabbi and did a very commendable job leading the service. She reminded me again of how naturally women seem to fit into the role of spiritual leader, teacher, counseler, and comforter.
I tired to send an email to Pip after the gathering but first I sent an empty message, apparently hitting the SEND button inadvertently, and then typed in the text of the message but somehow managed to erase it all inadvertently. Is this a problem of cognitive decline or executive function, or my badly aching shoulder?
Last year on this date, I posted nothing but photos, a large one of Kitty, a small one of my Kitty candle burning, and another of fallen leaves.
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