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Saturday, September 7, 2024

9/7/24

 Saturday, September 7, 2024

70 Roman army under General Titus occupied and plundered Jerusalem 

1812 Battle of Borodino: Napoleon won a pyrrhic victory against Russia in the most ferocious battle of the Napoleonic era; 70,000 were killed

1940 Beginning of the Blitz as the Luftwaffe bombed London for the 1st of 57 consecutive nights losing 41 bombers as the Nazis prepare to invade Britain

1963 American Bandstand moved to California

1986 Desmond Tutu became Anglican Archbishop of Capetown

In bed at 10:30 and up at 4:30 from a drowsy, dreamy half-sleep.  I woke up with shooting pains in the middle toes of my right foot and a sore left hand and fingers which I strained last night removing my compression sock from my swollen left foot, ankle, and lower leg.  Lilly got up when I came into the TV room and after I let her out and back in, she repaired to her mattress in Geri's bedroom to resume sleeping. 

Prednisone, day 117, 10 mg., day 23.   Prednisone and diclofenac at 5 a.m.   Morning meds at 6:50.  Breakfast was 2 hunks of banana bread around 5:10.

I've avoided network and cable news for a full week, listening only to NPR newscasts.  I should try the PBS News Hour next week if I can't make it through the weekend without CNN, MSNBC, and the broadcast network news.  I still inhabit my printed (online) silos: NYTimes, WaPo, JSOnline, The Atlantic, The New Yorker, and sometimes The Wall Street Journal, and I sometimes dabble in YouTube but I see how their algorithms work to steer and addict me. Click click click.

These Americans Want Out is an article in this morning's NYTimes by Ronda Kaysen.  It makes me think of Sarah of course and of her newly-acquired dual American-German citizenship.  This summer, nearly 2,000 readers responded to a New York Times survey asking if they would leave the United States should their favored candidate lose the presidential election in November. Another 3,000 people responded to similar questions asked over social media. Some respondents had already moved. Others were taking the steps — looking for jobs overseas, or seeking ways to qualify for residency.  These numbers, 5,000, are not significant in a country of about 335 million people, but they give me some reassurance that Geri and I aren't crazy in thinking of (though not intending to) moving away from the U.S. which seems to be in irretrievable social and political decline.  I can't imagine Geri ever moving far away from her sons and their families and I can't imagine moving away from the VA medical center that has become so much a part of my old age, but if the circumstances were different, I suspect both of us would seriously consider kissing off our native land.  Even as things are now, if residency and citizenship in Canada were easily available, which I think it isn't, I could imagine us making a move but for my increasing decrepitude.


Anniversaries thoughts.  First, I am wondering about the claim that the Jews were 'exiled' after the fall of Jerusalem and the destruction of the Second Temple.  I have often heard it said that the Jews were exiled, i.e., driven from their homeland, by the Romans, but I've also heard it said, by professional historians, that this is not true, but rather that the Jews had already started dispersing throughout the Roman Empire and elsewhere, by 70 A.D., and that the dispersion accelerated after the sack of Jerusalem and the destruction of the Temple, but there was no forced exile.  The question is significant in terms of the claims by Zionists that the State of Israel represents for Jews in the diaspora, a 'return from exile.'  If there was no 'exile,' the claim is specious.

Second, Borodino was a pyrrhic victory for Napolean and a great example of the horror and stupidity of War.  The fighting involved around 250,000 troops and left at least 68,000 killed and wounded, making Borodino the deadliest single-day battle of the Napoleonic Wars and one of the bloodiest single-day battles in military history until the First Battle of the Marne in 1914.  "Wounded" at this battle effectively meant later death, either through starvation, neglect, or lack of medical care.  Again I wonder what caused those 250,000 troops to sacrifice themselves in this slaughter.  Love of Napolean or la France, love of the Czar or of Mother Russia?  I doubt it.  

An Irish Airman Foresees His Death by W. B. Yeats

I know that I shall meet my fate
Somewhere among the clouds above;
Those that I fight I do not hate
Those that I guard I do not love;
My country is Kiltartan Cross,
My countrymen Kiltartan’s poor,
No likely end could bring them loss
Or leave them happier than before.
Nor law, nor duty bade me fight,
Nor public man, nor cheering crowds,
A lonely impulse of delight
Drove to this tumult in the clouds;
I balanced all, brought all to mind,
The years to come seemed waste of breath,
A waste of breath the years behind
In balance with this life, this death.

Third, the start of the Blitz reminds us that at least since the start of the Second World War, all wars have been wars of Terrorism, i.e., directed against civilian populations.  When horrified at what the Israelis are doing in Gaza (and in the West Bank), we need to remember Dresden and Tokyo, Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Curtis LeMay and George Patton.

Fourth, 1963 was the year I graduated from college, got married, got commissioned in the Marine Corps, and set out into the world.  It was also the year that ABC moved Dick Clark and American Bandstand out of Philadelphia to California.  I should have seen that move as presaging dire days ahead as the early 60s, so like the 50s, turned into "the 60s," so very unlike the 50s.  The assassinations of Diem and Kennedy, the Vietnam invasion, 'race riots', civil rights, MLK and RHF assassinations, SDS, Sterling Hall, Kent State, etc.  It started with ABC moving American Bandstand out of Philadelphia with its dancing teenagers from Philly and Jersey and out to Southern California, Tinseltown.

Lastly, one of the unexpected, thrilling good fortunes in my life was standing next to Desmond Tutu in an elevator at the Marquette University Student Union and exchanging greetings with him.  It was 2003 and Tutu was at Marquette to receive the Pere Marquette Disconvery Award and to give a remarkable acceptance speech.  I didn't attend the speech but I read it this morning and it triggers many thoughts.  The first is Tutu's extraordinary eloquence.  The second is his gift for humanizing and personalizing Gospel stories.  The third is the way he humanized and personalized God, but I thought as I read it how he was making it all up or, put another way, imagining it.  It reminds me of Brother Booker Ashe imagining the miracle of the loaves and fishes.  I think of TSJ picking me up after mass at St. Francis church one Sunday and asking me 'Do you really believe that shit?'  I remember his question but I can't remember my answer, but I'm sure it wasn't a simple yes or no because I've long thought that the only way to have any kind of grasp of the religious or spiritual dimension of life is through the imagination, not through ratiocination.  The story is told that Thomas Aquinas stopped working on his magnum opus, Summa Theologica, on the Feast of St. Nicholas in 1273 and, when asked by a friend why he had stopped writing, he replied " I can write no more. All that I have hitherto written seems to me nothing but straw."  He wrote no more before his death.  His 'nothing but straw' however became the basis of Scholasticism and dominated Catholic theological thinking for centuries, right up through my theology and philosophy classes at Marquette.  I suspect that what Aquinas realized was that the ultimate questions of our existence, including the question of "God" and the relationship between "God" and Man, the question of our alpha and omega, whence we come and whither we go, cannot be answered or understood rationally, logically, scientifically, or analytically, but only poetically, through the faculty of Imagination.  Of course, I can't explain exactly what I mean, but neither could Aquinas except through metaphor - 'straw.'  Finally, how interesting that Desmond Tutu delivered his acceptance speech on February 12, 2003, a month before the American invasion of Iraq.   Tutu concluded his speech thusly:
How could we contemplate so nonchalantly, as if we were ordering our breakfast, the prospect of visiting devastation and death on these others if we are family? How could we go on spending such obscene amounts on budgets of death and destruction, when we know that a small fraction of those budgets could ensure that those others had clean water, enough to eat, a good education, adequate health care, secure homes, if they are indeed family?
God weeps as God looks on what we are doing, on what we are contemplating doing to one other. The just war theory, amongst other things, postulates that a legitimate authority declares and wages war. A war against Iraq declared unilaterally by the United States would be one not declared by a legitimate authority and so would be immoral. God smiles through the tears to see the many who oppose this war.
This is a great, great country, a generous country, a compassionate country, a country that helped Nelson Mandela come out of prison, a country which helped make South Africa free and democratic. That is your legacy, your tradition. Why want to tarnish it with a war most of the world opposes? Help to wipe the tears from God's eyes. For God says, "Yes you and you and you, you can make a difference. You can help me realize my dream that my children, my children, you are family."

Too bad George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, and Donald Rumsfeld weren't in the audience listening and heeding his advice.  Or perhaps they did.  The invasion of Iraq wasn't entirely unilateral.  We had our lap dogs the U.K., Australia, and Poland on our  "Shock and Awe" team. 


Friday, September 6, 2024

09/6/24

Friday, September 6, 2024

1941 All Jews over age 6 in German territories were ordered to wear a star

1997 Funeral of Diana, Princess of Wales was held at Westminster Abbey in London

2022 A fire in a karaoke bar near Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam killed at least 32

In bed at 8:45, up and about at 4:45!?!, from a dream of hosting TSJ's nephews and brother-in-law around the Knickerbocker neighborhood churches, chatting through his window with the Catholic archbishop.  A strange reminder of how little control we have over our thoughts generated by currents in our brains subject to unknown laws, or mere chaos?

Prednisone, day 116, 10 mg., day 22.   Prednisone and diclofenac at 5 a.m.  Morning meds at 8 a.m.  Trullicity at 10:15.  New continuous glucose sensor installed at 10:30.

The Matrix,  the Pelicot case in Avignon, a pedophile priest in the Pacific islands, and defining Kamala Harris.    These three articles in this morning's NYTimes caught my eye; I thought they were interrelated.  The first is about the 'big films' of 1999, of which the biggest was said to be The Matrix, about simulated realities created by machines ("AI"), and red pill/blue pill choices in life.  ("You take the blue pill... the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill... you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.")  The second is about the trial in Avignon, France, of Dominique Pelicot who has pleaded guilty to drugging his wife Gisèle, and inviting many men to rape her while she was unconscious. ("There are so many men on trial that the court had to build a second glass box in the courtroom for those in custody. They include firemen, soldiers, truck drivers, and an IT expert. They range in age from 26 to 74. Many are in stable relationships and have children.")  The third is about Catholic priests who moved to the Pacific islands after being accused of child sexual abuse. ("In the Pacific, a ‘Dumping Ground’ for Priests Accused or Convicted of Abuse; Over a decades-long period, more than 30 Catholic priests and missionaries moved to remote island nations after they had allegedly abused children in the West, or had been found to do so.")  The latter stories made me think of the former, specifically about living in "blue pill" worlds.

Ms. Pelicot was drugged and raped, by her husband and dozens of  others over many years, all the while thinking that her husband of many decades was a loving spouse, "the love of her life." She was living in a blue pill world created by her husband.  Her red pill world was an unthinkable horror show, but it was real.

The story about the abusive priests relates that a great majority of Pacific Islanders are Christian.  Pope Francis is currently on a tour of the region.  "In Papua New Guinea and East Timor, Francis is visiting two overwhelmingly Christian countries.  Catholicism is the biggest denomination in Papua New Guinea and accounts for over a quarter of the population. The faith is followed by 98 percent of the people in East Timor.  Christianity spread in the Pacific Islands during the 18th and 19th centuries through a strong partnership between missionaries and local leaders. Today, many countries in the region have intensely religious cultures where more than 95 percent of people identify as Christian."  Are not these Christians also living in a blue pill world, one created by the Church through its missionaries promising life after death, priestly power to forgive sins and to transubstantiate bread and wine into the body and blood of a man who lived two millennia ago, and redemption and salvation from an All-Loving, All-Powerful, All-Knowing God?  Karl Marx said that religion was 'the opium of the masses.'  To Sigmund Freud, religion is the unconscious mind's need for wish fulfillment. Freud believed that people choose to believe in God, who represents a powerful father figure because they need to feel secure and absolve themselves of guilt,  

How much of our world is a Matrix, an artificial or simulated reality created by others?  Another article in this morning's Times is "How the Fight to Define Kamala Harris Will Shape Next Week’s Debate: The battle over who Ms. Harris is — and what she stands for — will take center stage on Tuesday when she and Donald Trump debate for the first time."  

The race to define Ms. Harris has emerged as a central political battleground of the 2024 contest since her surprise entry replacing President Biden in July.

The fight over who Ms. Harris is — and what she stands for — has already been dominating the airwaves in the key swing states. Of the roughly 325,000 airings of television ads that Mr. Trump, Ms. Harris and their leading super PAC allies have paid for since she entered the race, about 95 percent of them have focused on her,  . .

Mr. Trump’s campaign has sought to label Ms. Harris with a three-pronged attack of “failed, weak, dangerously liberal” and to tie the vice president to the more unpopular parts of the Biden-Harris record, especially on immigration and the economy. Ms. Harris’s campaign has cast her as a tough-on-the-border former prosecutor who understands the needs of the middle class and who would offer the nation a fresh start even if her party already holds the White House. 

It's all a massive, coordinated, targeted effort to create simplistic, black-and-white (or Black and White) impressions in our minds so those impressions shape attitudes and those attitudes shape voting behavior.  But all of it is Big Brother stuff, manipulative, simplistic, half-truths, blue pill realities that are accepted by True Believers as Gospel Truth.

Michelle Goldberg's column today, Tucker Carlson and the Heterodoxy-to-Holocaust Denial Pipeline, also has a reference to The Matrix and red pill-blue pill thinking:

[A]bhorrence of Nazism has helped structure Western societies. If we could agree on nothing else, we could agree that part of the job of liberal democracy was to erect bulwarks against the emergence of Hitler-like figures.

For parts of the contemporary right, however, the social consensuses undergirding liberalism are artificial and even tyrannical. After all, the “Matrix”-derived metaphor of being “red-pilled” implies a realization that all you’ve been told about the nature of reality is a lie, and thus everything is up for grabs. And once you discard all epistemological and moral guardrails, it’s easy to descend into barbarous nonsense. (mine)

One week away from cable and network news.  A week without endless, meaningless, repetitive news of presidential politics: Who said what where, and to how many people.  Who raised how much money.  Who must do what in the upcoming debate?  How close is the race?  When will Trump be sentenced by Judge Marchan and what impact, if any, will the sentencing have on the electoral contest.  What the polls say.  What the pundits say about what the polls say.  What we should have learned about the polls from the 2016 presidential election. (not).

From NYTimes Magazine, There Are Only TwoShakers Left. They’ve Still Got Utopia in Their Sights, Sept. 5, 2024:

There are a lot of people around Sabbathday Lake striving to labor in the eye of eternity these days. Maybe a new Shaker will come this year; maybe not. But in the Meeting House this summer, people are singing. Lavender is drying from the eaves of the old sisters’ shop; future harvests will hang in the new herb house. A concept of survival and flourishing that isn’t primarily concerned with linear time or material gains may be the most radical thing about this historically radical American religion, and the one most resonant with a world that is experiencing, constantly, its own existential threats and calamities. It is obvious by now that everyone and everything is dying and living all at the same time, that failure and hope are all mixed up, and still the sheep are lambing and the roof has sprung a leak again and you’ve been snappish and petty even though you swore you’d be better and someone has to make breakfast and even breakfast can be a gesture of belief in the world as it could and should be. (mine)

Anniversaries thoughts.  In America, for most of our history, we didn't need the yellow stars because we had skin color to go by - black, brown, red, yellow, or anything other than White.  It's not surprising that Hitler looked to America for lessons in persecuting disfavored peoples.

Half the world seemed to be watching the high drama and grand pageantry of Princess Di's funeral.  The other half was busy trying to obtain food and shelter, trying to survive.

47 years after the communists seized Saigon and renamed it Ho Chi Minh City, there were overcrowded karaoke bars there and Vietnam was one of America's 10 largest trading partners.  Mostly we traded American manufacturing jobs for cheaper consumer products.  For this, 58,220 Americans died,, including 14,844 Marines. and 153,372 Americans were wounded in action (excluding 150,332 persons not requiring hospital care).  1,584 are listed as missing in action, including my fiend in Danang, 'Moon' Mullen.  Approximately 2.7 million Americans served in Vietnam 'defending freedom and democracy.'  On the other hand, our T-shirts and sneakers are cheaper than they might otherwise be and corporate profits are just dandy.  American capitalists are perfectly willing to deal with communist countries so long as the price is right.

Thursday, September 5, 2024

9/5/24

 Thursday, September 5, 2024

1906 Saint Louis U. quarterback threw the first legal forward pass in the history of American football for a TD at Carroll College, Waukesha, Wisconsin

1960 Cassius Clay [Muhammad Ali] beat the 3-time European champion Zbigniew Pietrzykowski to win Olympic light heavyweight boxing gold medal at the Rome Games

1972 Eleven Israeli athletes were taken hostage and later killed by the Palestinian Black September group at the Munich Olympics

In bed around 9 and not awake and up until 6:10!?!!😤😇

Prednisone, day 115, 10 mg., day 21/28.  Prednisone at 6:28, diclofenac on my knee at 6:30.  Let Lilly out at 6:35.

Two years ago today, Jimmy Aquavia left with his son Steve for Alexandria and his new home near Katherine and Jordan.  I was mostly sorry to see him leave because I considered him a good friend as well as my brother-in-law.  I still miss him.  He is 90 years old now and I suspect he is in worse shape now than he was when he left Newcastle Place and Wisconsin.  I say I was 'mostly sorry to see him leave' only because Katherine and Jordan picking up the responsibility of caring for him relieved Geri from it as Geri was herself approaching her 80th year with health concerns of her own, plus, though I didn't know it at the time, I was heading toward my year of very challenging health problems in 2023-2024 which placed additional burdens on Geri.  That said, I miss Jimmy a lot.  Another friend gone, out of sight, not out of mind.  My note from the day:

As 1:30 arrived, Steve got up and asked his Dad whether he needed a bathroom stop before they headed out.  Jim asked if they were leaving and where they were going.  When told they were going to the airport, he said "Me?"  and was surprised to hear that they were leaving for Washington.  He had forgotten.  We  shared hugs, good luck wishes, and they were off, hoping not to be delayed by Biden's motorcade on the freeway.  I went outside to fill the bird feeders with Lilly following to take up her post at the northeast corner of the house where she can look down County Line Road to Geri's return.  I felt grateful and sad, an emptiness and fulness at the same time.

Haditha massacres; trial of Sgt. Wuterich.  I listened to episode 8 of The New Yorker podcast In The Dark about the trial of squad leader Sgt. Frank Wuterich.  One of Wuterich's assigned Marine Corps defense counsel agreed to be interviewed by the team of investigative reporters for reasons I can't understand in terms of attorney-client privilege, respect for client confidences, and the duty of loyalty.  In any event, one of the matters he discussed the the composition of the 'jurors' in  Wuterich's court martial, all Marines and all veterans of the Iraq invasion. "Trying the case to a military jury, there's probably going to be a significant bias against Iraqis if the jury has served in Iraq.  And I say that because there was the uniform dislike or bias against Iraqis.  I don't know why.  We were supposedly going there to give them freedom, right? but we hate them and they're all cockroaches and we want to kill them."  I was reminded of course of Vietnam, and of the wary ambivalence towards the Vietnamese that we Marines felt towards them in 1965 and 1966, i.e., early in the war following our invasion in March 1965.  It didn't take long for the feeling of ambivalence to turn to distrust and hostility as the war dragged on, all while from Saigon and Washington we heard of our valiant efforts to 'win the hearts and minds' of those we feared, distrusted, and eventually hated, the 'gooks,' 'zipperheads,' and 'slants.'  I don't recall hearing those terms from the Marines with whom I served early in our war, but I do recall the distrust and, at best, ambivalence.  How much was based on simple racism and how much was based on the power disparity between our governments and our peoples is anyone's guess, but I remember hearing rumors of Marines mutilating the bodies of dead VC, collecting ears or noses, and of captured VC being thrown out of airborn helicopters so other captives would agree to provide intelligence info.  Who knows if the rumors were true?  Or whether some or most atrocities were committed by the ARVNs serving with their Marine advisors.  The fog of war, etc, but the purpose of war is Death and Destruction, and those who are called upon to do the killing and destroying ought not to be expected to have overly-refined sensibilities about who is killed and what is destroyed.  "Rules of engagement" are easy enough to compose, but not so easy to apply in potentially hostile, kill or risk-being-killed, circumstances.

The conclusion of episode 8 about the coverup of American war crimes which are investigated only by America's military, and the inherent conflicts of interests in the military establishment, is chastening.  (It reminds me of "Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.")  As I listened to it, I thought of My Lai and Lieut. Calley of course, but also of Israel and the IDF in Gaza and the West Bank, and of how military training, especially infantry training, is designed to convert ordinary civilians into killers.  Oh, there are classes on the Geneva Conventions and the Rules of War and all that, but at bottom, the training is intended to turn recruits and conscripts into people willing to kill and to be killed.  How else do we get Pickett's Charge, Passchendaele, and Iwo Jima.  I thought again of how closely related Israel and the U.S. are.  Over the past year, I have been thinking of Israel as our 'canary in the mineshaft' but after listening to the report on Haditha, I wondered whether the U.S. is Israel's canary.  Both countries seem to me to be coming apart at the seams, verging on civil wars, and guilty of many interrelated sins, including imperialism, militarism, deep internal divisions, racism, and war crimes.  Will the chickens come home to roost this year in either or both countries?

Anniversaries thoughts.  Who knew Carroll College was such a historic site?  I wonder whether there is a historical marker on campus.

Cassius Clay became a hero of mine (as Mohammed Ali) when he refused induction into the Army.  "I ain't got no quarrel with them Vietcong.  . . The real enemy of my people is right here. I will not disgrace my religion, my people or myself by becoming a tool to enslave those who are fighting for their own justice, freedom and equality… If I thought the war was going to bring freedom and equality to 22 million of my people they wouldn’t have to draft me, I’d join tomorrow."

51 years ago, the Munich Olympics.  Sarah and I drove past the Olympic Park when she took me sightseeing in Munich on my first trip to Germany.  Half a century later, Hamas continued the tradition and amplified the stakes on October 7, 2023.  Homo hominis lupus.  The wages of Zionism.


Wednesday, September 4, 2024

9/4/24

Wednesday, September 4, 2024

1957 Governor of Arkansas, Orval Faubus, called out the National Guard to prevent 9 black students from entering Little Rock's Central High School

1970 Marxist Salvador Allende won a narrow plurality of votes in Chile's presidential election

2016 Mother Teresa was canonized by Pope Francis in a ceremony at the Vatican


Raspberries are so delicate and fragile, it's not often we see one still on the stem at Sendik's

In bed at 9:45, awake at about 3:50, and up and out at 4:07 to put a full load of laundry in the washer and let Lilly out at 4:30.   Loaded and started the dishwasher at 6:30, and took out the recycling.

Prednisone, day 115, 10 mg.,day 20/28   Prednisone at 5 a.m., diclofenac at 5:05, morning meds at 6:35.  

Watching Lilly on the stoop, feeling a little (only a little) impatient at her caution and hesitancy to venture out into the dark predawn morning.   I thought of Jane Kenyon's Otherwise.

I got out of bed
on two strong legs.
It might have been
otherwise. I ate
cereal, sweet
milk, ripe, flawless
peach. It might
have been otherwise.
I took the dog uphill
to the birch wood.
All morning I did
the work I love.
At noon I lay down
with my mate. It might
have been otherwise.
We ate dinner together
at a table with silver
candlesticks. It might
have been otherwise.
I slept in a bed
in a room with paintings
on the walls, and
planned another day
just like this day.
But one day, I know,

it will be otherwise.

I'm still thinking of what I read the other day of Erik Erickson and his theory of 'integrity vs. despair' in old age, also of Jesus's teaching 'love your neighbor as you love yourself', and 'seven times seventy.'  I'm wondering whether I'm too hard on myself and the World, too pessimistic, too cynical.  It's all so self-defeating.  I got to thinking, for no reason at all, of my father's view of his world after his time in the Marines in World War II, his experiences on Iwo Jima, what it must have been like for him to watch Kitty and me growing up, ignorant of the Truth about the World and about our species, the Truth he knew and never talked about.  We were living in different universes, his burdened by what he knew and we didn't, ours offensive to him because of what he knew.  I don't have to wonder how he would be assessed on the 'integrity vs. despair' scale in his old age.  I know he was laden with regrets, mostly about our mother, perhaps about Kitty and me, but I'm not at all sure of the latter.  Kitty and I acquired his 'abiding sense of tragedy'; we all carried it throughout our lives.  Only my mother escaped, miraculously because if anyone 'deserved' it, with all the hardships in her life, it was her, a motherless child. . .  The things one thinks about as one listens to the dishwasher and the dryer balls early in the morning as the rest of the neighborhood wakes up.  

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
A long way from home, a long way from home

Sometimes I feel like I'm almost done
Sometimes I feel like I'm almost done
Sometimes I feel like I'm almost done
And a long, long way from home, a long way from home

True believer
True believer
A long, long way from home   A long, long way from home 

Life without televised news.  I've gone 4 or 5 days now watching no televised new programs, no MSNBC, no CNN, no NBC Evening News with Lester Holt, and of course no Fox News..  Can I keep this up?  How long?  I am so sick of news, both network and local,   especially the 'news' about the presidential contest between Harris and Trump.  Nine weeks from today will be the day after Election Day.  Will we know the results of the presidential race?  Other races?  Trump has already been priming his MAGA base voters to believe that only cheating will produce a win for Harris and Walz.  Will there be violence?  Are we heading toward a new kind of civil war?  Will Israel beat us to it?



Cauliflower Bacon Soup.
  I spent a good part of the morning cleaning up (mainly dusting) my bedroom, particularly the bookshelf where I keep my colored pencils, watercolor equipment, etc.  The afternoon had me in the kitchen making my cauliflower bacon soup.


 


Anniversaries thoughts.  The integration of Central H.S. was an ugly event, with White people shouting hate-filled comments at the 9 brave, indeed heroic, Black students who came to be known as the Little Rock Nine.  Governor Faubus was the commander-in-chief of the Arkansas National Guard, which he activated to prevent the Black students from attending the school on the first day of school.  President Eisenhower outbid him by nationalizing the Guard, making himself the commander-in-chief, and ordering them to facilitate the attendance of the Black students at the previously all-White, Jim Crow school.  I had just turned 16 and was attending my all-White, Catholic, Leo High School while Kitty was in the all-White, Catholic, 8th Grade at St. Leo Grammar School whence she would move on to the all-White, Catholic Visitation High School.  We were taught to love our neighbors as ourselves, but not to go to the same schools as our Black neighbors.  Actually, the key was to keep Blacks from becoming neighbors by refusing to sell or rent to them, or as our pastor, the Right Reverent Patrick J. Malloy put it: "Keep out the undesirables."

The people of Chile freely elected Salvador Allende.  The result of their 'free and fair democratic election' was displeasing to Wall Street, corporate America,  our American president Richard Nixon, and his right-hand man Henry Kissinger, who assisted General Pinochet and the Chilean military in overthrowing the Allende government and in establishing a murderous military dictatorship.  Allende committed suicide.

Saint Mother Teresa,  So much I could say, but not today.  For a decidedly contrary view of her saintliness, read the Wikipedia entry on Christopher Hitchens' book The Missionary Position: Mother Teresa in Theory and Practice (1995).


Tuesday, September 3, 2024

9/3/24

Tuesday, September 3, 2024

1965 Pope Paul VI publishes encyclical Mysterium Fidei

1967 Nguyễn Văn Thiệu elected President of South Vietnam under a new constitution

1978 Pope John Paul I officially installed as the 263rd supreme pontiff

2017 1.4 ton WWII bomb defused in Frankfurt, Germany with 60,000 people evacuated, the largest postwar

In bed at 9, awake at 3:07, up and about at 3:33.    

Prednisone, day 114, 10 mg., day 19/28  Diclofenac on my knee at 3:45.  Prednisone around 5:00 and morning meds at 6:20.  Breakfast at 8:45, All Bran w/ berries.

NAFTA,  Bill Clinton, Democrats, killing the New Deal, and the road to Trump and MAGA.   Bill Clinton signed the North American Free Trade Agreement on December 17, 1992.  After ratification and some side agreements, Clinton again signed it on December 8, 1993, and the agreement went into effect on January 1, 1994.   Among the Democrats praised for getting the treat passed were Rahm Emanuel, Vice President Al Gore, chairwoman of Clinton's Council of Economic Advisors Laura Tyson, and Director of the National Economic Council Robert Rubin.  In this morning's NYTimes, there is an article by Dan Kaufman that really strikes home for Milwaukeans, How NAFTA Broke American Politics: Since its passage in 1993, the trade agreement has played an outsize role in presidential elections — which now often hinge on the three Rust Belt states it helped to hollow out.  The story focuses on the closing of the big Master Lock factory in Milwaukee, a company created by Harry Sorof in 1921.  The Sorof family sold the company in 1970.  His granddaughter, Bobby Soref, was one of TSJ's clients.  Excerpts:

The closure of its factory in March, where it made iconic locks for generations, represents the final stage in Milwaukee’s long unraveling as an industrial powerhouse, part of a larger phenomenon, fueled by NAFTA, that has taken place across the country, particularly in the Rust Belt states. NAFTA eliminated tariffs on trade among the treaty’s signatories — Canada, Mexico and the United States — allowing for the unfettered movement of capital and foreign investment. It ushered in an era of free-trade agreements that brought cheap goods to consumers and generated great wealth for investors and the financial sector, but it also increased income inequality, weakened labor unions and accelerated the hollowing out of America’s industrial base.

Milwaukee was once known as the “machine shop of the world.” In the 1950s, nearly 60 percent of the city’s adult population worked in manufacturing, a vast majority of whom held well-paying union jobs. In 1969, Milwaukee had the second-highest median income in the country. By 2021, Milwaukee had lost more than 80 percent of its manufacturing jobs (barely 5 percent of those that remained were unionized), and it had the second-highest poverty rate of any large American city, just one example of NAFTA’s profound impact on American industry and labor.

Deindustrialization has diminished the wealth, power and health of working-class Americans arguably more than any other single culprit. While deindustrialization has many causes — in a recessionary four-year period that ended in the early 1980s, a quarter of Milwaukee’s manufacturing jobs were wiped out — a central driver has been free-trade agreements with developing countries, of which NAFTA was the first. According to a study by the Economic Policy Institute, Americans without college degrees have lost nearly $2,000 a year in wages owing to trade with low-wage countries, even after accounting for cheaper consumer goods. The economists Angus Deaton and Anne Case have documented how the loss of jobs has led to falling life expectancy for working-class people: College-educated Americans can now expect to live eight years longer than those without a college degree. “I would put that down to deindustrialization combined with the lack of any political voice,” Deaton told me.

The passage of NAFTA remains one of the most consequential events in recent American political and economic history. Between 1997 and 2020, more than 90,000 factories closed, partly as a result of NAFTA and similar agreements. The coming presidential election, like the previous two, is likely to be determined by three of the “blue wall” states — Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania — which have all been ravaged by deindustrialization. In 2016, Donald Trump won those states, and the presidency, in part by railing against NAFTA (“the worst trade deal ever,” he called it). Exit polls showed that Trump won nearly two-thirds of voters who believe that free trade takes away American jobs. Ohio, meanwhile, which twice voted for Barack Obama, has increasingly become a Republican stronghold.

A 2021 study published in The American Economic Review found that counties dependent on the industries most affected by NAFTA experienced decreases in total employment of about 6 percent compared with those with little exposure. By 2000, the same study found, those counties had shifted significantly from Democratic to Republican.

The passage of NAFTA — along with other Clinton-era measures like the repeal of Glass-Steagall, a Depression-era law that regulated banks, and the granting of permanent most-favored-nation status for China, which allowed China to enter the World Trade Organization and ultimately cost the United States nearly four million jobs — signaled the Democratic Party’s move away from its working-class, New Deal roots. This decoupling was worsened by the damage to unions from NAFTA.  . .  [A]fter the passage of NAFTA, nearly 50 percent of unionization drives were met with threats to relocate abroad, and that the rate at which factories shut down after a union was successfully certified tripled.

Since the passage of NAFTA, the percentage of private-sector workers who belong to a union has fallen by nearly 50 percent, to 6 percent today. Recent studies have shown that union members are more likely to vote and less prone to racial resentment. Yet some members of the Democratic establishment came to embrace the party’s realignment. “For every blue-collar Democrat we lose in western Pennsylvania, we will pick up two moderate Republicans in the suburbs in Philadelphia,” Senator Chuck Schumer, the majority leader, said before the 2016 election. “And you can repeat that in Ohio and Illinois and Wisconsin.” . . . .

For the plant’s Black employees, who made up more than 80 percent of the work force, the closing of the factory followed a particularly painful pattern. Milwaukee has been either the first- or second-most racially segregated large metropolitan area in the country for decades — but it was also once a place of working-class Black prosperity. In 1970, the city’s Black median income was the second-highest in the country, behind Detroit’s; its Black poverty rate was 22 percent lower than the national average. Nearly 85 percent of Black men between 25 and 54 were employed. Now it has the lowest Black median household income, the highest Black poverty rate and the widest racial disparities in prime working-age male employment of the country’s 50 largest metro areas, according to a recent study by Marc Levine, an emeritus professor of urban studies at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. 

Oren Cass, the head of American Compass, a conservative think tank, who is also a former adviser to Mitt Romney, is the intellectual leader of the “pro-worker” faction in the Republican Party, which includes JD Vance.  He recently wrote a mea culpa in The Times for ignoring working-class suffering and denounced the long stagnation of American wages. Yet Cass contributed to the chapter on labor in the Project 2025 initiative, a set of conservative policy proposals for the next Republican administration. It encourages Congress to consider banning public-employee unions, roll back child-labor protections and restrict overtime pay. Trump and Vance each oppose the Protecting the Right to Organize Act, which has languished in Congress and would make it easier to form a union. The Trump administration threatened to veto the bill and said it would “kill jobs and destroy the gig economy.” 

While Trump has made gestures toward labor — the convention gave a prime-time slot to Sean O’Brien, president of the Teamsters, who denounced “greedy employers” and praised Trump for listening to critical voices, though he didn’t endorse him — his record as president tells another story. In 2017, at a rally in Youngstown, Ohio, which lost some 50,000 well-paying steelworker jobs over the previous 40 years, Trump promised that all the empty factories would be “coming back.” Two years later, the last large plant in the area, a G.M. factory that had recently employed nearly 5,000 people, closed. During Trump’s presidency, the trade deficit grew to its highest level since 2008, and his 2017 tax cuts incentivized corporations to offshore jobs by lowering the tax rates on foreign profits. According to Public Citizen’s Global Trade Watch, more than 300,000 jobs were lost to offshoring and trade during his presidency. 

During Trump’s presidency, the trade deficit grew to its highest level since 2008, and his 2017 tax cuts incentivized corporations to offshore jobs by lowering the tax rates on foreign profits. According to Public Citizen’s Global Trade Watch, more than 300,000 jobs were lost to offshoring and trade during his presidency. 

[From WaPo article by Michael Lewis, "The Canary": "When Chris arrived in coal country in 1976, there were roughly 250,000 coal miners in the United States. There are now fewer than 70,000. During this time, West Virginia has turned from the bluest state in the country to the reddest. “My idea about how society changes has changed,” he said.] 

Diclofenac, other drugs, heart attacks and strokes.  Pretty ominous warnings on Drugs.com. for people over 65 and diabetic.  What's an old diabetic and arthritic guy to do?

Thanatopsis.  While at Costco this afternoon to pick up some beef jerky treats for Lilly, currently on sale with a limit of 5 per customer, I thought of getting three bags and decided on two, wondering how long our dear Lilly will be with us.  I also intended to stop at the Port Washington SVDP to drop off my donated Allen Edwards 'lawyer's shoes,' part of my plan to start 'Swedish death cleaning.'  I went through the foolish thinking of 'should I save one pair for my burial?' before realizing how silly that thought is in light of my green burial pre-arrangements at Forest Home Cemetery.  No need for shoes in any burial. 

Anniversaries thoughts.  Mysterium fidei is about the 'real and substantial' presence of the body and blood of Jesus in the Eucharist.  It reminds me of the story of the post-Vatican II practice of having masses said in peoples' homes by 'hip' Catholics.  Such a couple had their parish priest over for dinner and mass one evening and gave him some raisin bread as the communion offering.  The priest was hip but not that hip.  He didn't know about raisin bread as Holy Communion but he didn't want to offend his hosts.  He resolved the conundrum when he came to the Offertory and  Consecration by saying "Take this and eat it, for this is, (sotto voce) except for the raisins, my Body."  

Did South Vietnam ever have a free, democratically and popularly elected president?  I don't think so.  We, the U. S. government,  installed Diem in office and he was assassinated by and succeeded by a a series of military generals.  The Vietnamese military generals and the United States struggled with each other for control of South Vietnam; both lost.

John Paul I's papal reign of 33 days must have been an instance when the Holy Spirit couldn't make up his mind, or perhaps he was distracted during the conclave.  We had 3 popes in one year: John XXIII, John Paul I, and Paul VI.

The nearly 3,000-pound bomb unearthed in Frankfurt is not the only unexploded ordnance lying beneath the surface in Germany, France, Russia, England, Italy, North Africa, Japan, etc.  Each one is an example that wars never end, even after the last combatants are long gone.  The bombs are just physical forms of the long-lingering ripple effects of wars, not entirely unlike the butterfly effect.  And in the hearts and minds of the people who are wounded by wars, combatants and non-combatants, there lie emotional and spiritual bombs that may explode and re-explode throughout their lives.

Come up from the fields father, here’s a letter from our Pete,

And come to the front door mother, here’s a letter from thy dear son.


Lo, ’tis autumn,

Lo, where the trees, deeper green, yellower and redder,

Cool and sweeten Ohio’s villages with leaves fluttering in the moderate wind,

Where apples ripe in the orchards hang and grapes on the trellis’d vines,   

(Smell you the smell of the grapes on the vines?

Smell you the buckwheat where the bees were lately buzzing?)


Above all, lo, the sky so calm, so transparent after the rain, and with wondrous clouds,   

Below too, all calm, all vital and beautiful, and the farm prospers well.


Down in the fields all prospers well,

But now from the fields come father, come at the daughter’s call,

And come to the entry mother, to the front door come right away.


Fast as she can she hurries, something ominous, her steps trembling,

She does not tarry to smooth her hair nor adjust her cap.


Open the envelope quickly,   

O this is not our son’s writing, yet his name is sign’d,

O a strange hand writes for our dear son, O stricken mother’s soul!

All swims before her eyes, flashes with black, she catches the main words only,

Sentences broken, gunshot wound in the breast, cavalry skirmish, taken to hospital,

At present low, but will soon be better.


Ah now the single figure to me,

Amid all teeming and wealthy Ohio with all its cities and farms,

Sickly white in the face and dull in the head, very faint,

By the jamb of a door leans.


Grieve not so, dear mother, (the just-grown daughter speaks through her sobs,

The little sisters huddle around speechless and dismay’d,)

See, dearest mother, the letter says Pete will soon be better.

Alas poor boy, he will never be better, (nor may-be needs to be better, that brave and simple soul,)

While they stand at home at the door he is dead already,

The only son is dead.


But the mother needs to be better,

She with thin form presently drest in black,

By day her meals untouch’d, then at night fitfully sleeping, often waking,

In the midnight waking, weeping, longing with one deep longing,   

O that she might withdraw unnoticed, silent from life escape and withdraw,

To follow, to seek, to be with her dear dead son.

Walt Whitman


Monday, September 2, 2024

8/2/24

 Monday, September 2, 2024

Labor Day

1945 Ho Chi Minh declares Vietnam independent from France (National Day)

1945 V-J Day, formal surrender of Japan signed aboard the USS Missouri, marks the end of World War II

1983 Yitzḥak Shamir (Likud party) endorsed by Menachem Begin for Israeli Prime Minister

In bed around 8:30 and up at 4:15.  I let Lilly out at 6:25.   

Prednisone, day 113, 10 mg., day 18/28,   Diclofenac on my knee at 4:35.  Prednisone at 5:00.  Breakfast was 2 pieces of last night's pizza at 7:00.  Morning meds at 7:25.

The New Yorker podcast, the Haditha massacre.  Twenty-four Iraqi civilians were killed by Marines in Haditha on November 19, 2005.  None went a day behind bars for the murders.  I listened yesterday and this morning to episodes 5 and 7 of the podcast, two more to go.  Just listening to the episodes, and seeing the photos in The New Yorker online is a chilling, sickening experience for me.  It reminds me of the 'toxic masculinity' that is epitomized by the Marine Corps, the kill or be killed mentality, the 'lean green killing machine' stuff.  It reminds me of the real Ribbon Creek incident in 1956 when 6 recruits were drowned when their DI marched them into a swampy area.  It reminds me of the movie Full Metal Jacket in which a recruit murders his DI after reciting "The Rifleman's Creed" to his rifle.  It reminds me of the Training and Test Regiment, 'T&T' at Quantico, of DIs Harvey B. Love and Sgr. Lilly, who never perspired, of how Sgt. Lilly harassed Tom Devitt like Sgt. Hartman harassed 'Gomer Pyle' in the Kubrick film.  It reminded me of the Hill Trail, 'asshole to bellybutton,' of the midshipman of collapsed on the trail and my only thought was to get him out of the way because was an impediment to keeping up the pace, lying on the ground waiting to be put in the emergency truck trailing us.  It reminded me of chants we sang during conditioning runs, none of which I remember more than 60 years later.  But it also reminded me of how much I identify with the photos of the Marines in uniform who were charged but never punished for the Haditha murders, including the photo of the squad leader in his Marine uniform.  It reminds me of all the Marine T-shirts I wear, including the one I wear as I type this, and of my Marine dog tags I still wear, the same ones I wore in Vietnam almost 60 years ago, of how oblivious I was of the death and destruction we were bringing to that faraway land and to its people, and of my survivor's guilt, not only for the 58,000 Americans who were killed there but also for the countless hundreds of thousands of 'locals,' the 'IPs,' the people who lived there and who our government pretended to want to help while really wanting only to stop the spread of China's power and preserving capitalist access to Southeast Asia's markets and raw resources.  At least we learned our lessons from the tragic experience.  Oh, that's right, I forgot.  We learned nothing.

My favorite painting, of the many Vietnam-inspired paintings and drawings I have done over many years.

The Household Chores You’re Avoiding Are Key to a Deeper Life Aug. 31, 2024  by Lydia Sohn in the NYTimes.  "Yet I now approach my domestic labor differently. While I used to consider the work I needed to do around the house utterly expendable, I now see it as integral for my and my family’s happiness. Through my body’s daily offering, I bear witness to the belief that my private sphere is just as worthy of my attention as my public sphere and that my inner life is just as worthy of my care and labor as my outer one. And with each sock I put away, I trust that a sacred alchemy is unfurling."  I was struck by the phrase "my body's daily offering."  It made me think of all the work Geri does every day in our home, maintaining it, improving it, beautifying it, feeding and caring for Lilly and me - her daily offerings, which greatly outnumber mine and for which I am very grateful.

The things one thinks of just by looking at a pair of shoes.   While sitting in my recliner early this morning I cast my glance at a pair of walking shoes I bought years ago for a trip to Paris.  They have rarely been worn and I got to thinking of whether and where to donate them along with a few pairs of expensive Allen Edwards "lawyer shoes" I have kept in their shoe boxes for years, stuffed with shoe horns.  I thought of saving one pair if needed for my burial and realized that the only shoe that can fit on my swollen left foot now is my old Brooks running shoe I wear daily.  This afternoon I loaded the shoes into the back of the Volvo to donate to SVDP, my sister's beloved charity to which she devoted so much time and effort.

Anniversaries thoughts.  After centuries of being subjected to rule by the Chinese,  then the French, then the Japanese, and then the French again, Ho Chi Minh wanted  Vietnam subject to Vietnamese governance. He was an anti-colonial nationalist. He hoped for and asked for American help in this goal.  We refused, and instead helped the French in their futile effort to maintain their colonial Asian empire.  What it got the French was Dien Bien Phu; what it got us was a humiliating defeat from which we have never recovered in terms of our international standing.

VJ-day and my earliest memory, of the parade on Emerald Avenue 79 years ago, with Kitty and me honored by being pulled in a red, white, and blue bunting-draped red wagon, children of one of the neighborhood heroes, our Dad, a veteran of Iwo Jima.  Once he got home, it was all downhill.  The parade on Emerald Avenue was more probably on the day the radios announced that Japan had surrendered, but of course, I don't remember the date, only the parade.  I have no recollection of my father's homecoming either, though I am confident it was not a happy one.  The war, and its effect on my father, lived on in all our lives for years; it still does in mine and did in Kitty's throughout her life.

Pares cum paribus congregantur.  Begin and Shamir, terrorists.  Yitzhak Shamir was an Israeli politician who served as the seventh Prime Minister of Israel, in two terms, from 1983 to 1984 and from 1986 to 1992.  Born in 1915, Shamir moved with his family to British Mandate Palestine in 1922. He joined the underground Zionist group Stern Gang in 1940 and participated in a number of terrorist attacks against British targets in Palestine. In 1944 he was arrested by British authorities and sentenced to life in prison, but he escaped to Europe in 1946.  Returning to Palestine, Shamir became a leading member of the right-wing Zionist party Herut, and was elected to the Knesset in 1955. He held several ministerial posts in successive governments, including Minister of Agriculture and Minister of Foreign Affairs.  As Prime Minister, Shamir oversaw the invasion of Lebanon in 1982 and the First Intifada in 1987. Under Shamir's leadership, Israel made little progress in peace negotiations with its Arab neighbors. In 1992, after failing to win re-election, Shamir retired from politics and Yitzhak Rabin became prime minister., signed on to the Oslo Agreements, and paid with his life in 1995 when he was assassinated by a right-wing Israeli law student.  It's been downhill for Israel and the Palestinians ever since.








9/1/24

September 1, 2024

1939 Adolf Hitler ordered the extermination of the mentally ill, arguing that wartime "was the best time for the elimination of the incurably ill"

1939 Germany started World War II starts by invading Poland 

1941 Jews living in Germany were required to wear a yellow Star of David

2015 Pope Francis told priests to pardon women who have had an abortion, in a letter released by the Vatican

2016 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick knelt in protest during the national anthem objecting to racial injustice and police brutality in the US

2018 Memorial service for Senator John McCain at Washington National Cathedral with his daughter Meghan McCain, Barack Obama, and George W. Bush speaking

2021 Texas law banning most abortions after six weeks came into effect, now the most restrictive in the country

In bed around 9 p.m., and up at 5:30 to let Lilly out, after a long period of half-sleep, half-awake, with a dream and thoughts of Janine G. in her various remarkable leadership roles in the state and local community.   Where do these dreams come from? 

Prednisone, day  112, 10 mg., day 17/28.  I took the 10 mg. at 5:55 a.m.   Diclofenac at 8:25, along with morning meds.  I put one Lidocaine patch on the lower knee and another on my hip, the first time on the hip, later in the morning.  The diclofenac and Lidocaine seem to help the knee pain and perhaps the lidocaine is also helping my hip pain.  In any event, I'm doing better with mobility since using them.



Funkytown for sale.  Geri tells me that Caela is putting the cottage on Bean's Lake on the market and that she, Geri, feels like a part of her life is going away.  I sort of feel the same way, though it has been several years since I was there, and even then I had a hard time walking from the parking area up the gentle hillside to the cottage.  Bill Roush and I accompanied Tom to inspect the place when Tom was considering buying it many decades ago.  I used to repair there with a box full of blue books that I needed to grade.  When he and Caela bought it, Tom asked if I wanted to buy it with them, half ownership, and I wisely declined.  The cottage was Tom's, his place of flourishing, of husbandry.  He put a ton of sweat equity into it, building a shed, and personally building another bedroom and bathroom onto the basic structure.  He had a workshop full of tools that he kept there and was a regular customer at the hardware store in Wautoma.  It was his getaway, his hideaway, his LaVerna.  I say 'hideaway' but he was more than generous in sharing it, especially with me.  He gave me my own key to the house.  As our group of friends grew older, we used to gather at the cottage at least once a year for a weekend of golf during the day (Two Oaks and the Waushara Country Club), and games of Hearts at night, with David Lowe always trying to 'shoot the moon.'  Tom, David, Don Shane, Jane Delzer's husband whose name I can't pull up right now, Jim Liebsohn, Mark Darneider, Jack Levine, who else?   Tom kept his boat, the Great White Whale, up there, and at least once I drove my Lund Mr. Pike there and Tom and I put her in on Silver Lake, did some fishing, and stopped at a lakeside restaurant for lunch.  The news of the sale of Funkytown, Caela's name for estate, is triggering many, many memories and they tie into what I've been reading online of Erik Erikson and Gene Cohen's theories about development in old age, below.

Integrity vs. Despair in Psychosocial Development by Kendra Cherry, MSEd Updated on February 28, 2023:

Integrity vs. despair is the eighth and final stage of Erik Erikson’s stage theory of psychosocial development. This stage begins at approximately age 65 and ends at death. Psychologists, counselors, and nurses today use the concepts of Erikson's stages when providing care for aging patients. . . At the integrity versus despair stage, the key conflict centers on questioning whether or not the individual has led a meaningful, satisfying life.

Integrity vs. despair involves a retrospective look back and life and either feeling satisfied that life was well-lived (integrity) or regretting choices and missed opportunities (despair). In order to understand this stage, it is important to first understand what Erikson meant by integrity and despair.

Integrity, also known as ego integrity, refers to a person's ability to look back on their life with a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment. Characteristics of integrity include:

Acceptance

A sense of wholeness

Lack of regret

Feeling at peace

A sense of success

Feelings of wisdom and acceptance

Despair, according to Erikson, refers to looking back on life with feelings of regret, shame, or disappointment. Characteristics of despair include:

Bitterness

Regret

Ruminating over mistakes

Feeling that life was wasted

Feeling unproductive

Depression

Hopelessness

The integrity versus despair stage begins as the aging adult begins to tackle the problem of his or her mortality. The onset of this stage is often triggered by life events such as retirement, the loss of a spouse, the loss of friends and acquaintances, facing a terminal illness, and other changes to major roles in life.2

During the integrity versus despair stage, people reflect back on the life they have lived and come away with either a sense of fulfillment from a life well lived or a sense of regret and despair over a life misspent 

Gene Cohen picked up Erikson's challenge to his students to continue the work on aging. His book, The Mature Mind, is the outcome.  He posits four stages or phases of Maturity.  Phase I—Midlife Reevaluation (ages mid-30s to mid-60s)  Phase I is a period of quest more than crisis. It involves searching for truth and meaning.  Where have I been?  Where am I now?  Where am I going?

Phase II—Liberation (ages the late 50s into the 70s)  a time of experimentation and innovation.

Phase III—Summing Up (ages the late 60s through 80s)

Phase III is a time of review and resolution and heralds a desire to give back. The review is of one's life with recognition of its meaning. It is a time of putting photos in albums, of writing memoirs. It may be that the richness of the autobiographical activities is aided by the ability to use the left and the right sides of the brain simultaneously. 

Phase IV—Final Phase, Encore (ages the late 70s until the end of life)    This phase continues aspects of the three previous phases: reexamination, liberation, and summing up. Hence the name encore is used in the French sense of "continuing."  Although some qualities of intellectual functioning decline, new dendrites, synapses, and neurons are continually being created, especially if there is adequate physical and mental stimulation. Not only is learning always possible, but the depth of experience gives an added dimension of wisdom to the quality of one's thinking. 

All this makes me wonder: when did I start growing old?  I suppose it started from the moment of conception, sometime around Thanksgiving Day in 1940, probably with the aid of some alcohol and a celebratory spirit.  My parents had been married less than 4 months.  He had just turned 20 years old and she was still 18.  From the moment we begin life as a growing entity, we are on the road to death.  Each minute we are older than the minute before, and a minute closer to our death as a living, growing creature.  In our childhood, youth, and midlife, we don't usually think of our temporality, but as we pass through midlife, we think about it, consciously or unconsciously, whether we want to or not.  For me, the 'midlife crisis' was a real experience and it started around age 40, around the time I first needed eyeglasses to read and when I realized that I was lonely and troubled. haunted? by memories, regrets, doubts.  In Cohen's taxonomy, it was my Phase I, midlife reevaluation, the time of my separation and divorce, and much depression and suffering,  Phase II took me to remarriage, return to the Church, retirement from the law faculty, and my 'liberation' to the House of Peace, and my second retirement, pretending to be practicing law at our Ironwood office.  Phase III was our move to Saukville, my Dad's moving in with us, much volunteer activity at Riveredge (indoor and outdoor classroom help, collecting seeds, clearing invasive species, raising sturgeons), and hippotherapy with disabled children at stables in Darien and on Jay Road).  I wrote my memoir, 281 printed pages,  over a period of at least a couple of years, maybe three, overlapping Cohen's Phase II and Phase III.   Phase III also saw our move from Saukville and down to Bayside, and now I'm in Phase IV, and struggling to find a raison d'être, other than providing a little help and some companionship to Geri.   Do I want to pursue this Eriksonian/Cohen analysis?  It seems pretty clear that I have ended up on the "Despair" side of Life's Ledger rather than the "Integrity" side.  Pessimism, cynicism, fear, and dejection not simply over current events (Trump, MAGAism, Ukraine, Gaza, the West Bank, Lebanon, Iran, climate change, etc) but over the characteristics of our destructive species, the built-in constitutional fecklessness of our government, etc.

Anniversaries thoughts.  Hitler, the Nazis, and the German people of the era were the "Gold Standard", but their sins were shared throughout Europe and much of the world.

Pope Francis' letter caused a lot of confusion, mainly because of the peculiar dogmas concerning the sacrament of confession and the peculiar and ridiculous role of priests in granting or withholding forgiveness of sins.  

Poor Colin Kaepernick paid a heavy price for his sin of calling attention to racism and police brutality. It interfered with the fans' enjoyment of watching large men brutalize each other for entertainment and fun.

McCain's funeral, Obama and "W: eulogized, Trump wasn't invited or present.  What an asshole.

What is it about Texas that makes it the most extreme at so many bad things?