0810

August 10, 2022 

Down @ 10, up @5, 3 pss, no vino.  Had a dream I spoke with Paul McCartney about how much I enjoyed Beatles music and learned that the Beatles wanted my friends and me to do some collaboration (non-musical) on "Lovely Rita Meter Maid" and some other tunes.

    Michels beat Kleefisch by @ 5 points, 47% to 42%.  I thought Scott Walker was bad, but it's looking like Michels will make him look like Lee Dreyfuss or Warren Knowles.  Michels has Fascist written all over him.

    7:30 Wednesday morning, the lawn service crew arrives.  Chickadees and nuthatches stopping by the seed feeders, female downy woodpecker working on the disappearing suet cake, and sparrows chasing away chickadees from feeders.  Sparrows look huge compared to chickadees, white-bellied nuthatches look huge compared to red-bellied nuthatches, and occasional not-very-welcome bluejays appear as Godzillas or King Kongs.

    I picked up a recording of Shostakovich's 13th Symphony 2 days ago, "Babi Yar," and have been listening to it on my car radio.  It starts with a reading of Yevgeny's poem "Babi Yar" by the poet, in Russian.  Very dramatic,  It ends with the poet reading another of his poems which I haven't heard yet.  The music is very Russian sounding, the only soloist a bass, and the chorus all male, so the music tone is, not surprisingly, very dark.  With Russia itself conjuring up such dark thoughts throughout most of the world, including in me, right now, it's not surprising that I can't say I enjoy the music very much, not that I expected much from a work inspired by Babi Yar.  I listened and kept wondering what would move an artist to try in any way to capture the reality, the meaning, of Babi Yar.

    I spent some time in the basement playing around with glazing liquid, more than a little time, just trying it out, seeing how it works, what works, what doesn't, how to thin paint too much, how to just sploosh it on and see how it looks.  Received a quart container of the glazing liquid from Amazon this afternoon and will probably mess around with it tomorrow, maybe with clumsy Rothko-ish color fields.

    Watched several Brandi Carlisle videos on YouTube at night, including as always her rendition of John Prine's "Hello in There."

0809

August 9, 2022

Up late last night watching news coverage of the FBI execution of a search warrant on Donald Trump's Mar-a-Lago home and office.  Drank too much wine and woke up this morning feeling off, not exactly a hangover, no headache or nausea, but not well either.  All day the news reporters, anchors, and pundits have been prattling on about what the searchers were looking for and why.  Trump has a copy of the search warrant and supporting affidavit and could release it to the press if he chose to but of course he has not done so since the contents of the affidavit will reveal probably cause to believe the fruits or instrumentalities or whatever of a crime are reasonably believed to be in his premises at Mar-a-Lago.  

    Meanwhile, Republican supporters of Trump are spitting out venom about Merrick Garland, Christopher Wray (Trump appointee), the DOJ, and the FBI.  The deeper our political polarities become, the more I've come to think of H. L. Mencken as the most reliable philosopher of what back at Marquette used to be billed as "The Philosophy of Man."  As fed to me, it was all Scholastic philosophy, Thomas Aquinas and Aristotle, but essentially a theology course.  We were force-fed Thomistic philosophy, i.e., official Catholic doctrine in those days.  I wonder what the required theology and philosophy curricula look like now.  Maybe I can find it online.

    Today is partisan primary election day here with one big contest, the Republican gubernatorial race between Tim Michels, who gives every indication of being a dyed-in-the-wool fascist, and Rebecca Kleefisch, who is doing her best to match him.  For the first time in years, maybe ever, I have deliberately chosen not to vote.  The Democratic senatorial primary is effectively over with all the potentially competitive candidates dropping out and leaving the game to Mandela Barnes.  If I were to vote, it would be to crossover to the Republican race to pick the Republican who might give Gov. Evers a chance to win in the general election in November.  The only trouble is I don't have a clue whether Kleefisch or Michels would be the weaker candidate, so I'm sitting this one out.

    A stainless steel piece fell off our grill a few days ago and neither Geri nor I can figure out where or how it was attached to the grill.  She is cleaning the grill tonight and watching her drives home to me that she makes it possible for me to live in this house.  I can't get down on the ground or floor and get back up.  I can't reliably climb a ladder without getting dizzy and risking a bad fall.  But for Geri, I would be living in an apartment or condo or some kind of congregate living facility.  I'm doing some perseverating on what that means, i.e. that to the extent that I can't take care of this or any house, I am to that extent unable to care for myself as a homeowner.  I turn 81 on the 24th.  Thinking daunting thoughts.

    Stocked up on wine at Total Wine this afternoon.  After my foggy, fuzzy day, I suspect I will be laying off the vino for a while.

0808

August 8, 2022 

Down at 10ish, up at 6, 5 pss, 1 glass of red wine before bed, and woke up tired.  The air is heavy with humidity, and windows are a bit fogged up.  We thought we might get a deluge last night, but the rain gauge indicated somewhere between 1/2 inch and 3/4 inch.  

    Geri was on the phone at 7 last night with Katherine and Steven, for about 40 minutes.  Steve will be flying out here on 8/30 or 8/31 to accompany Jim on his flight out to Alexandria.  It will be Steve rather than Geri in case Jim has any problem(s) with his catheter.  I will ask Geri today what I didn't think to ask her last night, i.e., whether she would like to also accompany Jim.  I can't anticipate the answer to that question.  I woke up this morning thinking about Jim and about his moving away and feeling sad, a sense of loss.  I seem to be prone to advance grieving, had it with Kitty, now feeling it about Lilly and now about Jim.  Geri says he is happy to be moving and I surely hope she is correct, but a major move across the country is stressful even for those in their prime and I have to believe it's the same for those "in the sere and yellow."  In any case, Jim has been a friend for the better part of 4 years now, a part of our lives as well as a member of our family,  and despite the irritations and frustrations triggered by his memory loss and hearing loss and increasing confusion and inability to tend to the simplest affairs of daily living,   I feel sad about his departure and about his near-total loss of agency, autonomy.

    I spoke with Geri yesterday about my new, VA-provided medical alert device, wondering what 'callee(s)' I should designate for emergency calls.  She suggested the North Shore Fire Department and I think she's right.  I'm going to call them and ask for their advice.

    I looked up on YouTube how to mix and apply an acrylic glaze, thinking it might help with the workup of Munch's Madonna.  I had some acrylic glazing liquid downstairs and tried it and was pretty happy with the results although it's clear I have a lot to learn.  I'll try to do something with the workup of Modigliani's Woman with Black Tie.

    I asked Geri if she might like to accompany Steve and Jim on the flight to Alexandria and she said she would just be in the way.  Probably right, as usual.  She says she'll go out there at some time after he is settled in.

    This year's annual FB posting re Hiroshima/Nagasaki:

    "Old age blurs or destroys so many of our memories but some stay vivid well into our last years.  On this eve of the anniversary of the nuclear bombing of Nagasaki following the bombing of Hiroshima, I always remember the short train ride I took from Iwakuni, Japan, to Hiroshima in the summer of 1965, 20 years following that city's obliteration by our atom bomb.  Hiroshima is only 30 miles from Iwakuni so I suspect its residents in 1945 heard the bomb blast, perhaps saw the top of the mushroom cloud, and probably played host to the cesium-137, strontium-90, iodine-131, the appropriately named Americium-241, and other radioactive particles in the bomb's fallout. 

      I have two especially vivid memories of that visit to Ground Zero.  First, when I came out of the Hiroshima train station, I was struck by how new and modern the city was.  It took me a second to remind myself that of course every building I was seeing had been built within the preceding 20 years.  I still feel some embarrassment over that initial reaction.  Second, I remember many Japanese children at the Peace Memorial staring at me as if I were a freak.   I did not see other Americans or Westerners while I was there and it was not unlikely that, for those children if not for their parents, I and my companions were the first Americans they had seen.   We were not only Americans but Marines with 'whitewall haircuts' and we could hardly have looked more different from the Japanese men the children were accustomed to.  I felt as freakish as I looked to those children.  The Peace Memorial had many photographs and other artifacts showing the effects of the bomb on the people and the city of Hiroshima.  It is a very real horror show.  My father had been one of the 70,000 Marines who fought on Iwo Jima to defeat the Japanese Empire and, according to some theories at least, had been spared the probable next campaign (after Okinawa) of invading Japan's home islands. only by the atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.  So I felt rather more connected to Hiroshima, its people and war history, and its bombing than others might feel.  Remembering those children now reminds me of all the children who died or were mutilated in that war, and of all the children who died or were mutilated in Vietnam where I was headed in 1965, and all the children in Iraq and Afghanistan, in so many other places and now in Ukraine who have been killed or mutilated in modern warfare.  The memories are still fresh,  but to express the thoughts they trigger, words fail me."

0807

August 7, 2022

 Down at 10:30, up at 6:30, 4 pss, 1 and 1/2 glasses of red blend.

Yesterday's mail, retrieved today, brought my new VA eyeglasses

 as well as some Nystatin drying powder from the pharmacy.  All following yesterday's delivery of the Liberty med-alert device.  I've charged it up but haven't activated it yet because I'm unsure what emergency telephone numbers to list.  911? Geri/ North Shore Fire Department?  Bayside Police Department?  Andy?

 

0806

August 6, 2022

 Down at 10, up at 6, a shot of cognac before bed.  The temperature at 6 is 70 degrees, the dew point is 69, humidity is 94%.  God help those w/o air conditioning. 

    I received from the VA in yesterday's mail my "Liberty Honor Alert," a device to be worn around the neck to alert 911 when I may be in distress.  Dr. Chatt ordered it when I advised her that I'm "a fall waiting to happen."

    The jury in the Alex Jones trial returned a verdict of $45.2 million in punitive damages yesterday on top of $4 million in compensatory damages.  Query: how much of that will they ever get their hands on?  How 'deterred' will  Jones and his ilk be when it is so clear there is so much money to be made from exploiting the misfortunes of others?  Some people go out of their way to avoid running over a turtle crossing a road; some go out of their way to hit it.

       Donald Trump starred at a rally yesterday in Waukesha for Wisconsin governor candidate and latent Nazi Tim Michel.  It looked like a pretty modest crowd of crazy people in attendance.  Lunatics.

    The big news yesterday was that AZ. senator Kyrsten Sinema agreed to vote for the tightened 'Build Back Better' bill ONLY if the "retained interest" tax break for hedge fund and private equity fund managers were preserved.  For this 'people's representative', letting hedge fund and private equity managers, multimillionaires and billionaires, get wealthier and more powerful, was more important than effective measures to slow climate change, providing assistance to poor Obamacare participants, and getting a handle on the cost of prescription drugs for millions of her 'fellow citizens,' including probably tens of millions of elderly with chronic health problems.  What can I say?  Bought and paid for.  Best government money can buy. 

     I saw an article online on British artist Annie Morris, great painted styrofoam sculptures, and lovely drawings.  Muse!  I did a painting of 4 different-sized circles today(yellow, red, blue, and green) inspired by the sculptures of Annie Morris.  I wanted them to be contiguous but they ended up slightly separated.  I enjoy these paintings of simple circles.

    Watched the second half of "Arguing the World" documentary about the CCNY "New York Intellectuals": Daniel Bell, Irving Howe, Nathan Glazer, and Irving Kristol.  Lip synch was horrifically off, but the film itself (from 1997) is very interesting, especially in terms of the beginnings of so-called 'neoconservatism', and its big change from its initial skepticism about the efficacy of LBJ's Great Society programs, which failed to accomplish big social goals, to the highly militaristic aggressive foreign policy juggernaut under the George W. Bush regime.

    Jimmy was here for dinner.  The wallet and ID card and credit card that Geri brought him this week to replace the one that went missing last week has gone missing too, probably hidden somewhere by Jim to protect it from some miscreant burglar/thief at Newcastle.  G&J left at 6:30 to search for his wallet and his medical alert pendant which is also missing.  The visit was very pleasant, good conversations, watched the CNN documentary on Patagonia.  When Geri returned, she said Jim found BOTH missing wallets.  When she asked him "Where?", he said, "I don't know."  Also, his missing medical alert was sitting on top of his dresser but it was upside down, so he didn't recognize it for what it was.  

    Watched an interesting character study at night, "The Private Lives of Pippa Lees." 

PTSD

 NOT EVERYONE WHO DIED IN VIETNAM 

LOST HIS LIFE THERE

NOT EVERYONE WHO CAME HOME FROM VIETNAM

EVER LEFT THERE.

Kitty's Last Birthday

 On this date in 1944, in the Englewood neighborhood on the South Side of Chicago, a beautiful and courageous and saintly 21 year old mother, who was one of God’s gifts to this world, gave birth to a daughter who was destined to become an image of her mother, beautiful, courageous, and saintly, another of God’s gifts to the world. When Mother Mary brought the precious daughter home to her little basement apartment, her waiting brother, about to turn 3 years old, is reported to have said “Take her back. She doesn’t play.” That was just the first of many mistakes that almost 3 year old brother would make in his life, but he learned soon enough that that new sister of his, would become over the course of 2 long lifetimes, his best friend, his confidante, his soul-sister as well as his biological sister. He would come to love and admire her as she grew into a woman like their mother: beautiful in so many ways, courageous in so many ways, and saintly in so many ways. As they grew older and older, with lifetimes of living behind them, the brother would share his belief in the saintliness of his sister with their father, who would chuckle because he sometimes saw her when she was impatient, or ‘bossy’ or angry at one thing or another, and the now-old brother would suggest to the even older father that he just didn’t know what real saints looked like. The saintly sister herself would join in dismissing the idea that she was St. Kitty of Emerald Avenue and the brother would have to remind her and their father that real saints aren’t God and they are not angels - they are all human beings who get impatient, ‘bossy’, and even angry at times. What makes them saints was described by Jesus in Chapter 25 of the Gospel of St. Matthew: I was hungry and you gave me food. I was thirsty and you gave me water. I was sick and you cared for me. I needed a home and you took you into your home. So of course the brother, who had made many mistakes in his own life over many years, was not mistaken in describing his sister, who he loved so much, as a Saint. Nor is he mistaken in thanking God for giving him the blessing of his beautiful, courageous, and saintly sister, so very much like their dear mother