1/31/2025

 Friday, January 31, 2025

D+85

2022 Wordle bought by the New York Times

In bed at 9:15, awake at 3:40, up at 4:00, thinking of Geri's feeling miserable with pain and discomfort since the surgery, Lilly last month. I lit my Kitty candle, thinking of her, Aunt Mary, my Dad, Jim.       

Prednisone, day 287, 5 + 2.5 mg., day 24, Kevzara, day 10/14.  5 mg., prednisone at 5 a.m. with some Dave's Bread, cream cheese, and jam.  Other meds at 5:40.  Trulicity injection at  11:30.  2.5 mg. prednisone at 8 p.m.           

Germany 1933, America 2025.  Trump has been in office for only 10 days and already his myrmidons have wreaked havoc in the country.  I acknowledge (to myself) that I have a tendency to catastrophize, that I am deeply pessimistic and cynical about Donald Trump and his people, including especially Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Thiel, J. D. Vance, the Oath Keepers, the Proud Boys, and all Christian Nationalists.  "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy."  That's me.  Also, the bumber sticker: "If you're not appalled, you're not paying attention."  Bertold Brecht, To Those Born Later:

Truly, I live in dark times!

The guileless word is folly. A smooth forehead

Suggests insensitivity. The man who laughs

Has simply not yet had

The terrible news.

What kind of times are they, when
A talk about trees is almost a crime 

Because it implies silence about so many horrors?   

 . . . .  

III
You who will emerge from the flood / In which we have gone under / Remember / When you speak of our failings / The dark time too / Which you have escaped.
For we went, changing countries oftner than our shoes / Through the wars of the classes, despairing / When there was injustice only and no rebellion.
And yet we know: / Hatred, even of meanness / Contorts the features. / Anger, even against injustice / Makes the voice hoarse. Oh, we / Who wanted to prepare the ground for friendliness / Could not ourselves be friendly.

But you, when the time comes at last / / / And man is a helper to man / Think of us / With forbearance.

Are we not witnessing something at least akin to Germany in 1933?  It took Hitler only 53 days to destroy the Weimar Republic and secure his dictatorship; how long will it take Trump and his smarter, wilier henchmen?  The "shock and awe" of cascading Executive Orders, the nomination of Matt Gaetz, Tulsi Gabbard, Pete Hegseth, Kash Patel, Kristi Noem, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. and suchlike deputies, the firing of inspectors general, investigating the investigators, the zone of public conciousness flooded with lies, the inept freezing of grants and loans, the silencing/muzzling of agency and department communications till vetted by political appointees, the threats to Denmark, Panama, and Colombia, the blaming of  DEI for the mid-air collision over the Potomac, daily denigration of immigrants and deceitful denigrations of prior adminsistrations, and the acquiescence of Republicans in everything Trump and his myrmidons do.  Next steps?  Prosecuting the prosecutors?Repealing the Impoundment Control Act? Repealing the Filibuster Rule in the Senate?   Increasing the number of federal judges and packing the courts with MAGA judges.  Creating special MAGA loyalist units in the military for in-country use, e.g., brown/black shirts, and within the FBI/DEA/ATF, e.g., Gestapo,  Privatizing VA Health Care.  Means-testing Social Security and Medicare.

Pessimize, n., neologism, to think pessimistically, doomsday thinking, a lesser degree of catastrophize.  How long will we, or either rof us, be able to live in this house?  Geri's left leg has been out of commission for much of the last 9 months and I'm next-to-useless around the house except for kitchen clean-up chores.  If not here, where? when?

Journal entry one year ago yesterday.   "I'm grateful for the Veteran's Administration.  This morning's WaPo has an article by Linda Searing entitled "Seniors spend the equivalent of 3 weeks a year on health care, study says: About 11 percent of people over 65 spend 50 or more days each year (nearly one day a week) obtaining routine health care"  I wondered what my statistics are for last year, 2023.   I had 53 engagements with the VA Medical Center, a tad more than one each week on average.  Some of them are arguably net medical, i.e., 4 or 4 podiatry visits for a pedicure.  Some of them were video appointment with my personal diabetes pharmacist who transitioned me away from Metformin, on to Jardiance/empagliflozin, and increased my Trulicity dosage for 1.5 mg. weekly to 4.5 mg.  Some were video meetings with my 'health coach' who provided advice about yoga, tai chi, meditation, acupuncture, etc.  Others required many hours, e.g., my visit to the ER in severe IC pain, my 'double dip' endoscopy & colonoscopy.  Others required at least, on average, 3 hours, counting travel time, wait time, and treatment/examination time, like visits to the Eye Clinic, the Physical Therapy Clinic, Urology Clinic, and semi-annual check-ups with my Primary Care physician.  Of the total 53 appointments, 40 required a trip to the VA Medical Center.The study also found that about 11 percent of people 65 and over spend even more time — 50 or more days each year (nearly one day a week) — obtaining routine health care away from home. The research was based on Medicare data from a nationally representative sample of 6,619 people 65 and older.  So the average for folks 65 and over is 21 days a week, actually only 17 days, the other 4 were for ER visits, nursing homes, etc.  My stats include 40 days (subtrackting the podiatry visits, 36 days) physically present at the VA, only one at the ER. That comes out to about 3 on-site visits every two weeks.   Add to that about 13 video visits.  It looks like I'm a rate-buster.  I am mindful of how fortunate I am to be enrolled in the VA health program.  What is the cost of all the medical assistance I receive at no cost from the VA?  I'm sure it is tens of thousands of dollars, especially when the cost of my medications are added to the total.  It's not entirely accurate to say that I receive the medical care and medications at no cost.  The VA charges my Medicare account, my Medicare Supplement insurer, and my Medicare Part D prescription drug insurer for my care and I am responsible for those insurance premiums, but I pay no deductibles or co-pays."

I haven't done a similar count for my visits to Zablocki in 2024.  The numbers may be similar or perhaps less but I am most assuredly a regular costomer.

Geri is not well.  She suffers.  I worry.