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Wednesday, January 14, 2026

1/14/2026

 Wednesday, January 14, 2026


1963 George Wallace was sworn in as Governor of Alabama, promising "segregation now; segregation tomorrow; segregation forever!"

2019 President Donald Trump denied he was a Russian agent after an NY Times article stated the FBI started an investigation and the Washington Post raised issues over a meeting with Vladimir Putin

2021 US Secret Service took control of Joe Biden's inauguration as 20,000 troops were authorized to guard Washington D.C., more than those stationed in Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, and Somalia

In bed by 9, awake at 4:20 to move to LZB where I had no pains, up at 5:15.  29/8/39/15, snow early, 0.05 inch.

Meds, etc.  Morning meds at 8 a.m.  Kevzara injection at 9:50 a.m.  


I watched Ingmar Bergman's Wild Strawberries this afternoon.  I've watched it several times.  I suppose it's because its protagonist - I wouldn't call him its here - Isak Borg reminds me of myself, or I suppose I should say his story reminds me of my own.  The part that doesn't remind me of myself is his singlemindedness; he served for a while as a country doctor before becoming a professor and an expert in bacteriology.  He received a prestigious honorary degree on the 50 anniversary of receiving his degree in medicine.  I bounced around like a ping pong ball, spending 4 years in the Marines, more than 20 years teaching law in one capacity or another, more than 20 years practicing law in one capacity or another, and a few years running the House of Peace community center, never earning kudos for anything.  But like Isak Borg, I was a professor for a long time, and I am near the end of my life (he was 78, I'm 84), and, like him, I spend a lot of time remembering my childhood,  and reflecting on and ruing parts of my later life.

Bergman wrote the screenplay when he was hospitalized for about two months in Stockholm at age 38 for 'gastric problems' and what sounds like general exhaustion.  It was a time of intense introspection for him, with thoughts and wondering about God, life and death, love, his childhood, his parents, and their effect on who he was as an adult.  His thoughts are reflected in one way or another in the film.  He had a difficult and emotionally distant relationship with both parents, but especially his father, who was a Lutheran minister, authoritarian, emotionally cold, morally rigid, and a strict disciplinarian, heavily invested in notions of sin, guilt, responsibility, and punishment.  Bergman's father, of course, reminded me of my father, not in terms of religiosity (in which my father showed no interest after Iwo Jima), but in terms of emotional coldness.  I was particularly struck by the scene in Wild Strawberries in which Isak's son Evald learns that his wife Marianne is pregnant and argues that he does not want a child, saying, "I don't want a child.  It's absurd to bring children into this world and to think they will be better off than we are. . . I was an unwanted child in a hellish marriage.  Is he [Isak] even sure I am his son?"  Marinane replies, "You're a coward," to which Evald says, "Yes, this life sickens me.  I will not be forced to take on a responsibility that will make me live one day longer than I want to."  Marianne replies, "This is wrong" and Evald says,  "There is neither right nor wrong.  We act according to our needs."  And Marianne asks, "And what are they?" to which Evald replies, "Yours is a hellish desire to live and to create life.  Mine is to be dead.  Stone-dead."  I am reminded of William Blake's lines from Auguries of Innocence,  "Every morn and every night, some are born to sweet delight.  Every night and every morn, some to misery are born.  Some of born to sweet delight.  Some are born to endless night."

It's 5:40 p.m., right before dinner, and time to think some more about the film, Bergman's life, etc.  To be continued tomorrow.


I watched Ingmar Bergman's Wild Strawberries this afternoon.  I've watched it several times.  I suppose it's because its protagonist - I wouldn't call him its here - Isak Borg reminds me of myself, or I suppose I should say his story reminds me of my own.  The part that doesn't remind me of myself is his singlemindedness; he served for a while as a country doctor before becoming a professor and an expert in bacteriology.  He received a prestigious honorary degree on the 50 anniversary of receiving his degree in medicine.  I bounced around like a ping pong ball, spending 4 years in the Marines, more than 20 years teaching law in one capacity or another, more than 20 years practicing law in one capacity or another, and a few years running the House of Peace community center, never earning kudos for anything.  But like Isak Borg, I was a professor for a long time, and I am near the end of my life (he was 78, I'm 84), and, like him, I spend a lot of time remembering my childhood,  and reflecting on and ruing parts of my later life.

Bergman wrote the screenplay when he was hospitalized for about two months in Stockholm at age 38 for 'gastric problems' and what sounds like general exhaustion.  It was a time of intense introspection for him, with thoughts and wondering about God, life and death, love, his childhood, his parents, and their effect on who he was as an adult.  His thoughts are reflected in one way or another in the film.  He had a difficult and emotionally distant relationship with both parents, but especially his father, who was a Lutheran minister, authoritarian, emotionally cold, morally rigid, and a strict disciplinarian, heavily invested in notions of sin, guilt, responsibility, and punishment.  Bergman's father, of course, reminded me of my father, not in terms of religiosity (in which my father showed no interest after Iwo Jima), but in terms of emotional coldness.  I was particularly struck by the scene in Wild Strawberries in which Isak's son Evald learns that his wife Marianne is pregnant and argues that he does not want a child, saying, "I don't want a child.  It's absurd to bring children into this world and to think they will be better off than we are. . . I was an unwanted child in a hellish marriage.  Is he [Isak] even sure I am his son?"  Marinane replies, "You're a coward," to which Evald says, "Yes, this life sickens me.  I will not be forced to take on a responsibility that will make me live one day longer than I want to."  Marianne replies, "This is wrong" and Evald says,  "There is neither right nor wrong.  We act according to our needs."  And Marianne asks, "And what are they?" to which Evald replies, "Yours is a hellish desire to live and to create life.  Mine is to be dead.  Stone-dead."  I am reminded of William Blake's lines from Auguries of Innocence,  "Every morn and every night, some are born to sweet delight.  Every night and every morn, some to misery are born.  Some of born to sweet delight.  Some are born to endless night."

It's 5:40 p.m., right before dinner, and time to think some more about the film, Bergman's life, etc.  To be continued tomorrow.







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