1/22/23

 Sunday, January 22, 2023

In bed at 9:15, unable to sleep, up & on recliner till 11:30 or so, back to bed till 3:45, unable to sleep, back up & on recliner, thoughts of Tom coursing through my brain, worries about weakened voice, CPP, IC, ability to deliver eulogy, hold on through funeral, burial, consolation meal.  Worked on eulogy till 5:20, another attempt to sleep on recliner. unsuccessful, up again at 6:10.  Washed some dishes, made Geri's coffee, back to recliner at 6:50.  26 degrees, drizzle, flurries, high of 30, wind chill is 22,  Sunrise at 7:16, sunset at 4:50, 9+34.

Yesterday's gathering with Rabbi Cohen.  Geri texted Madeleine about going to see Caela & Mad replied that we could come right then which we did.  When we arrived, the family meeting with Rabbi David Cohen of Congregation Sinai was in progress around the dining room table at which we had so often eaten and we were invited to sit in.  Caela asked me if I would deliver a eulogy along with Madeleine and I of course said yes.  Also present were Saul, Jake and Kari, Ben and later Jill, Jack and Nikki Levine, Madeleine and Caela's longtime friend Liz.  The rabbi was very professional and caring in leading the discussion about funeral arrangements, burial, and a meal of consolation.  Very impressive.  Geri brought over with her two full bags of food to have available for visitors over the next days.  We learned that Tom's body was not expected to arrive in Milwaukee until Wednesday, a full week after his death.  A discussion was had about how that schedule might be advanced - who knew who in Washington who might be helpful in moving the VI authorities to move the process along, with Rabbi Cohen suggesting that callers should 'play the Jew card,' i.e., stress the significance of prompt burial in Jewish tradition.  The delay in returning Tom's body to Milwaukee puts Caela in a difficult position in terms of sitting shiva.  She will have mourners paying visits from yesterday onwards for some period, i.e., even before the funeral and burial whose date is not yet scheduled.  Plus, sitting shiva is not traditionally done on Shabat.  Rabbi Cohen was helpful on this issue also.  There was further discussion of purchasing burial spaces in one of the Jewish cemeteries, pallbearers, music, the consolation meal, etc.  With the agenda completed, the rabbi wished us all "Shabat shalom" and left.  We stayed awhile and chatted with Jack and Nikki,  Caela and Madeleine before leaving to get home and let Lilly out.  I was having some IC and CPP distress by the time we left. We spent a pretty somber evening at home and I went to bed early but was unable to sleep.  Too many thoughts racing through my old brain, of Tom, of Caela, of the past, of the future.  I remembered (how could I not?) that Geri and I had been married under the beautiful crabapple tree in Tom and Caela's front yard. that Tom was my best man, that Tom and Caela  hosted our wedding reception in their home.