Wednesday, January 25, 2023
In bed around 10:30, up at 2, unable to sleep, too many thoughts swirling around my head, out to the recliner, hoping but knowing I was unlikely to sleep. Nightcap of cognac making this worse? Geri up toilet Lilly out @ 3, I let her in. Went back to bed at some point and slept till 8, with CPP. Wintery day ahead, 29 degrees now with drizzle, flurries, snow expected during the day, about 1 & 1/2 inches. Wind from W today, 6 to 14 mph, gusts up to 19. Sunup at 7:14, sundown at 4:54, 9+40.
Family gathering with Rabbi Cohen at Tom &Caela's house. Caela, Jessie, Saul, Jake & Kari, Jack, Liz, Madelene, Geri & me. Jessie gave me a big hug when I came in, First time I've seen her in decades; she's 53 now. Caela had me sit down next to her at the dining room table. Explanations of logistics, scheduling, rituals led by Rabbi Cohen. Discussion of regards planned by Saul, Madeleine & me, perhaps also by Jack. I told Caela that I was pleased that Tom & she had plots at Greenwood cemetery and that I had a plot purchased next door, in the green burial section of Forest Home, so we would be next door neighbors. It was comforting, heartwarming for me to hear all the comments made by everyone around the table. I told the rabbi that I was anxious about my ability to deliver my eulogy because of physical problems and asked whether, if necessary, someone would be able to finish it from my text. He said yes. These sleepless nights aren't helping. I've not felt good in quite some time, often thinking that I am approaching 'last legs' status, time running out with the clock ticking faster. Nearer term, I need to pick up some Orbit chewing gum this morning, see if I can speak with a wad in my cheek to help with lingering amtrptyline dry mouth. Water mug w/ honey water? Need to test.
Andy called this afternoon to tell me that Tom's death notice was posted on JSOnline and that he hoped to attend the funeral on tomorrow. He has never attended a Jewish funeral and asked if there was anything to be aware of. I explained about the availability of kepahs at the synagogue and said I would look to see if I had one he ould use. He is picking Peter up after school today and dropping him off at his workplace and will try to stop over here for a visit. I need to remember to show him my 'death dossier' & box of memorabilia in the basement, let him know that it's unlikely that he will be needing them but in the highly unusual event of simultaneous deaths, he should know about them and their location.
American M1 Abrams & German Leopard 2 tanks will finally be sent to Ukraine. I don't doubt they are useful, even essential, for the Ukrainian war effort, but something seems anachronistic about this, a throwback to tank battles in North Africa in WWII. They seem like land-based aircraft carriers, especially the Abrams tanks. Enormously expensive to develop and to build and to operate. News reports suggest that it will take literally years for any Abrams tank to be available for combat service in Ukraine because of training and maintainance requirements., including the need for jet fuel to power its turbine engine. The German Leopard uses ordinary diesel fuel. All these tanks would seem to me to be vulnerable to air and drone attacks and perhaps missile attacks guided by satellite location information. Of course, I know next to nothing about any of this but I know that every one of the American tanks costs multiples of $1,000,000, the number of multiples varying from model to model. And figuring out the real costs of these armored monsters is probably next to impossible, depending on what items you factor into the cost. computation in addition to the nuts and bolts. A brand new MiA2 probably costs about 10M; retrofitted older ones, considerably less, but still. Each mile, they literally cost hundreds of thousands of dollars to operate because of the jet engine and required jet fuel. Even if Ukraine should hopefully win its battle with Russia, how will its war-ravaged economy ever cope with maintaining and operating these tanks without permanent US support? It's not hard to figure out why DOD Secretary Lloyd Austin resisted so long sending these tanks to Ukraine. Boo to Germany for forcing our hand as a cover of some sort for their sending Leopard tanks to assist Ukraine. Interesting that the largest tank battle of WWII was not El-Alamein in Egypt, but the Battle of Brody in western Ukraine in 1941, with more than 4,000 tanks engaged by the German and Russian armies.
Andy came over this afternoon in part, I suspect, to make sure I was OK. He shared with me his memories of Tom St. John. He always thought that Tom was my 'coolest friend,' friendly, supportive, and 'he looked like Robert Redford but aged better." He remembered that he and Ben St. John were on the same Little League and Tom attended all the games. In one game Andy received the MVP award for the game. I was out of town and not at the game. Tom took Ben and Andy to McDonald's after the game to celebrate. I took Andy to the basement and showed him my 'death dossier' on the butcher block desk and the box of photos and memorabilia in the workroom, I explained I prepared the materials for Geri but in the unlikely event that we would die together, he would be in charge of death arrangement and needs to know of these materials. Then we pulled CDs and other materials he has stored here for years, including Peter's baptismal candle, and some books I had boxed up for him and Anh. He loaded several boxes into his car before leaving to pick up Lizzie.
Geri is out and about this afternoon with an appointment with Dr. Baugrud at 3:30 and fulfilling some responsibilities she has undertaken to help Micaela with tomorrow's sitting shiva. An angel of mercy, again.
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